


Bludger, Please!

by kirani



Series: Hogwarts, Please! [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Catholic Dex, Coming Out, Derek "Nursey" Nurse is Unchill, Everyone is British or Irish, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Gratuitous Weasley Jokes, M/M, Miscommunication, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Quidditch, Slow Burn, background holsom, background shardo, background zimbits, muslim nursey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: Muggleborn Liam Poindexter has never quite fit in at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That's all about to change, though when he goes out for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. There's only one problem, he gets put on a Beater pair with Derek Nurse, who seems to know how to push all of his buttons.Derek Nurse is stoked to make his house Quidditch team with his two best friends, Chris and Liam. What could be better than chilling with his favorite people all the time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my nanowrimo project, so it's all written, just... a bit of a mess still. 
> 
> This all started because I a) know nothing about hockey but i do know a lot about quidditch, b) love nurseydex and wanted to write a slow burn for once and c) was upset at how few hogwarts aus there are in this fandom. So here we are. 
> 
> Shout out to my amazing betas Sav and Denois, without whom this would still be a stream of consciousness disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw in this chapter for teasing that goes a bit far and makes one character feel bullied

**Liam**

It was the second week of his third year at Hogwarts and Liam Poindexter was nervous. He had spent as much of his second year as he could practising on his broom and begging for field time.

It all came down to this: Hufflepuff Quidditch team tryouts.

He had never quite felt like he belonged at Hogwarts and he was certain the way to finally fix it was to go out for the Quidditch team. They were the most popular kids in school, plus they got away with a lot more because they were on the team. It made sense.

The problem was he hadn’t grown up on a broom like a lot of his classmates. He had grown up in the muggle world, born to non-magical parents, and had only learned about Quidditch and broomsticks his first year at Hogwarts. He had taken to it pretty quickly, though, all things considered. His first flying lesson had gone well and the coach, Mr Mashkov, had asked how long he’d been flying. That had felt amazing.

Until his fellow Hufflepuffs had out-flown him immediately after. They had grown up in the wizarding world and it showed. They had known how to fly since they were 5 and were more comfortable on a broom than on the ground, in one boy’s case.

Derek Nurse was the clumsiest boy Liam had ever had the misfortune of knowing, but he was a dream on a broomstick. He had tripped over his own feet on the way to the flying lesson but then flew literal circles around Liam once they were in the air with a grace he didn’t think was fair for an eleven-year-old.

Chris Chow was impossible to hate, even with his natural talent on the broom. He had made Keeper of the Hufflepuff team his second year. That’s how good he was. But he was also the sweetest boy Liam had ever met. He was upbeat and always willing to walk Liam or any other classmates through the homework or just lend an ear if someone needed to talk. When Chris made the team, Liam decided he wanted to try out, too. Chris had been sweet about that, too, and let him practice on his broom.

Liam was brought out of his revery by the captain of the team arriving on the pitch. She cleared her throat and everyone fell silent.

“I’m Lardo. I’m the captain of the Hufflepuff team. We’re gonna run through some drills for the open positions today, which are both beaters and one chaser spot. I’ll post the roster in the common room tomorrow evening. Good luck.”

Liam gripped his broomstick harder and hoped he wasn’t sweating too much.

“Alright,” said one of the other team members a very tall, blond boy. “Chaser tryouts to the left and Beaters to the right.”

Liam shuffled to the right and was disappointed to be joined by Derek Nurse.

“Sup, Poindexter?” Nurse drawled. “Didn’t know you were going out for Beater. Good luck.”

“Whatever,” Liam mumbled.

They had been joined by some older Hufflepuffs also going out for Beater as well as one second year who appeared to be vibrating in place, but no one Liam knew well. The tall blond boy approached and Liam wracked his brain for his name. Alex, maybe? Lardo was over with the group of Chaser tryouts.

“I’m Adam, for those who don’t know. I’m one of the chasers on the team,” the boy said, bringing a box of Beater bats over to the cluster. “Everyone take a bat.”

Liam reached out and grabbed a bat and hefted it, testing its weight. Chris had borrowed the school bats so Liam could practice with them, but none of them was exactly the same and he wanted to have a good feeling for the one he would be trying out with.

“You’ll be working in pairs to shoot the bludgers at the chasers as they take shots on our Keeper,” Lardo announced as she joined the group. “Let’s start with Nurse and Wilson.”

Nurse and a tall fourth year stepped onto their brooms and shot into the air and Liam watched carefully. He needed to know what he was up against.

As always, Nurse flew beautifully. He wove around the players and goal posts smoothly, getting his bat on a bludger every now and then, unseating one of the smaller Chaser tryouts, but he wasn’t connecting with Wilson. He wasn’t half bad, but he never seemed to be where Nurse expected him. Liam found himself getting upset on Nurse’s behalf before calming himself down.

Lardo pulled Wilson down after a few minutes and sent up a fifth-year girl named Peters. Peters was decent, too, and soon Liam was sent up with Peters. They volleyed easily enough, trading off who smacked the bludger at the Chasers, and Chris shot him a giant grin and a thumbs up from the goal posts. Peters got swapped out for the second year, who shrieked when a bludger got close and was pulled down immediately.

And then she sent Nurse up. Liam tried not to scowl, but the boy just got to him somehow. He was always telling Liam to “chill” and it made no sense. Who even said that? But he was a good Beater and Liam was determined to get on this team. So he set his jaw and took his stance as play began again.

They were good. Whenever a bludger came back around, they moved seamlessly to agree on who would bat it, making sure that both bludgers were always directed by them and blocking several shots made by the Chasers. It felt like they had been playing together for years.

It was exhilarating.

When Lardo finally called them all down, Liam was panting and grinning like a fool. Nurse offered him a fist bump and he hit it easily.

“You play well, Poindexter.”

“Thanks. You do, too.”

“I know,” Nurse smirked. Liam felt his grin fall back into his usual scowl and stepped closer to Peters instead.

~

Liam couldn’t sleep. He knew he had played well, even with Nurse, maybe even especially with Nurse, but he was so nervous to make the team. What if Peters and Nurse got on instead? He would have to go to the games and cheer for his team, all the while knowing that that could have been him if he had just tried a little harder. He tossed and turned for a while before Chris called softly from the next bed.

“You alright, Liam?”

Liam sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Chris replied, and Liam could hear the smile in his voice. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just nervous. About the team.”

“You did really well at tryouts. I think you’ll get it.”

“I hope so.”

“Try to get some sleep, alright?”

“Yeah,” Liam murmured, turning over again. Finally, he slept.

~

Classes that day were torture. All day, all he could think about was when the roster would be posted. He barely registered what was happening in History of Magic, though that wasn’t uncommon, and nearly got bit in Care of Magical Creatures except that Chris was looking out for him. He ate his dinner as fast as he could and raced back to the common room to be the first to see the posting.

Nurse was already there.

“Yo,” he said.

“Hey,” Liam returned. “Did you skip dinner?”

“Yeah, just got something from the house elves instead.”

Liam nodded, then fell silent.

“‘Sup, nerds,” announced Lardo, strolling into the common room with a roll of parchment in her hand.

Liam stood up so fast he was a bit dizzy but didn’t crowd her as she stuck the parchment to the bulletin board. She turned and smiled at the two of them. “Congrats.”

Did she mean him? Or Nurse? Liam rushed into the space and found his name immediately.

_William Poindexter, Beater_

Holy crap, he made the team! He did it! He was --

Wait.

_Derek Nurse, Beater_

“No,” he stuttered. “This can’t be happening.”

“Nice! We’re both on!” Nurse exclaimed from behind him. Liam tried not to scream. He turned to Lardo instead.

“You can’t do this,” he begged. “We can’t be on together, he hates me!”

“Chill, Poindexter, I don’t hate you,” Nurse interrupted.

“Yeah? What have the last two years been, then?”

“Friendly competition,” he smiled.

Liam scowled.

“You guys were the best pair out of the whole lot. You should be proud. Celebrating, even,” Lardo looked between the two of them.

“I am,” Nurse said. “Why aren’t you, ‘Dexter?”

Liam scowled.

~

When Liam had first arrived at Hogwarts, he had been absolutely terrified. He knew no one, no magic, and had only learned what he was a few months before. It was a lot to adjust to, and he was already a nervous kid.

He’d been standing in the line to be sorted when Chris Chow had basically adopted him.

“I’m Chris! What’s your name?”

“Liam. Liam Poindexter,” he’d answered, trying not to let his voice shake.

“Cool. What house do you think you’re gonna be in?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know.”

“I hope I’m in Hufflepuff. Like the hat said, true hearts and unafraid of toil. Or whatever. It just seems like I’d fit in well there.”

“That’s cool.”

“Hey, maybe you’ll be in Hufflepuff, too! Then we can be, like, best friends!”

“That’d be awesome,” Liam let a tiny smile rise on his face.

He had been sorted into Hufflepuff, along with some girls named Caitlin Farmer, Shruti Patel, and Eleanor Harris, and lastly, Derek Nurse. The tiny class had never been clearer than when they arrived at their dormitories and found a room large enough for 7 with only three beds in it.

Their class had been born in the height of the Second Wizarding War, and not a lot of people were having kids just then. But it was disconcerting being in such a large space with only Chris and Derek.

“How was such a big war -- big enough to suppress the birth rate anyways -- not seen by non-magic folk? Or are wizards just really dramatic?”

“Bloody hell,” Nurse had gasped. “Don’t say stuff like that!”

“I just don’t get it,” Liam had continued. “And no one seems to be able to explain it. So I’m asking.”

“You can’t just ask stuff like that!” Nurse had shot back. “People _died_ , Liam. Lots of people. Barely any family in the wizarding world was untouched. It was a big war.”

“Whatever,” Liam had mumbled.

After that, Nurse seemed to take anything Liam said about the wizarding world as an insult or a threat, and never answered his questions. Chris did, sweet boy that he was, but eventually Liam stopped asking. He could tell he was making his classmates uncomfortable.

Instead, he read. He shut himself in the library and tried to learn about what had happened 10 years ago when Harry Potter had finally defeated the Dark Lord and peace had fallen on the wizarding world. It was a whirlwind of a ride but he still couldn’t understand how it had all happened without the muggle world noticing.

He was also having trouble placing it in the proper timeline. At school, they had never learned history close enough to the present to really connect to him personally. This had happened after he was already born and that astonished him. He supposed it would click eventually.

By virtue of sharing all of their classes and their dorm room, he and Chris and Derek spent most of their time together. But he and Derek never really got better. Liam eventually just gave up trying to be friends and settled for classmates.

They were civil, except when they weren’t.

Liam would say something that Nurse would take as an insult or Nurse would say something that offended Liam -- he was remarkably ignorant when it came to money and the muggle world -- and they would be shouting at each other again. Sometimes it was about money, sometimes about their respective blood status -- Nurse was a pureblood -- and often it was about race. Nurse seemed to bring race into every conversation they had and Liam never understood it. He had more money than he knew what to do with in a world that rewarded him for being born to wizards. Why did he have to keep talking about race?

Chris got in between them and begged them to get along, but they never really did, just kind of called a ceasefire. Most of the time it was enough.

Right now, it didn’t feel like enough. Sure they had chemistry on the Quidditch pitch, but how was he supposed to put up with Derek Nurse in every single aspect of his life? He couldn’t have this one thing to himself?

“Fine, whatever, I’m happy,” Liam mumbled. He offered his fist for a bump and Nurse met it with his own.

“Chill.”

“I swear to God, Nurse.”

“Aww, are you guys fighting again?” Chris asked from the door to the common room.

“Sorry, Chris,” Liam backed off.

Nurse cheerily informed Chris of their new positions as Beaters and Chris literally leapt for joy.

“We’re gonna be teammates! This is gonna be so awesome! Frog hug!”

Liam couldn’t stay mad when Chris was around, so he let himself be pulled into a hug.

They’ve survived two years together already, this couldn’t be too bad, right?

~

**Derek**

Derek Nurse was so excited for his third year at Hogwarts. He was taking one of his electives with both of his best friends, Chris Chow and Liam Poindexter, and the other with Chris. Liam had opted for Arithmancy instead of Divination. But they had Care of Magical Creatures together and it was gonna be so much fun.

He and Liam fought sometimes, but they were the frogs, nothing could really get between them. They had been dubbed the frogs their first year when the three of them, Liam a bit reluctantly,  had freed a bunch of frogs from the potions classroom before they became ingredients. Chris had led the charge and had cried when Professor Murray had caught them.

He had come around since then and knew all the right spells to make sure their ingredients never felt any pain and insisted all of his classmates use them. But they were still all called the frogs. There were worse nicknames, Derek supposed.

He was so excited for their first frog elective class that he woke with the sun and woke his friends, too. Liam threw a book at him. Chris just sighed and followed him out of the dormitory to breakfast.

When Liam stumbled into the Great Hall to join them at last, Derek had been done eating and reading his Care of Magical Creatures book in anticipation of the first class.

“Goody two shoes,” Liam mumbled as he sat down beside Chris.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Derek just smiled. “Are you excited for our first class together?”

“We take every class together, Nurse.”

“But this one we’re doing on purpose!”

“Derek. Shut up.”

Derek chuckled but let Liam eat his bacon and drink his juice in peace. He’d get him excited later.

By the time they all made it down to the grounds beside Hagrid’s hut, Liam was a bit more awake but still not excited. Chris seemed to be making up for it with more than his usual level of hyperness.

“I wonder what animals we’ll get to see first! I hope it’s something really cool. Maybe a spider! Like a really big one!”

“Please no spiders,” Liam mumbled.

“Scared of spiders, William?” Derek teased.

“Don’t call me that,” Liam answered.

The back and forth was familiar and it calmed Derek down. They were alright if they were bantering.

“Alright gather round,” Hagrid called as the group of third years approached the hut. He was standing behind a large crate that seemed open at the top but none of the students could see inside but which Hagrid towered over.

“Welcome to Care of Magical Creatures,” Hagrid smiled widely beneath his bushy beard. “We’re starting with an easier creature today, can anyone tell me what this is?” He reached into the crate and pulled out a black, fluffy creature with a long snout.

A Gryffindor raised her hand.

“Yes, Miss Brown?”

“A niffler, sir.”

“Five points to Gryffindor, well done,” Hagrid beamed. “This is a niffler. They’re dead useful for finding lost treasure because they’re attracted to shiny things. Can anyone tell me what these guys eat?”

Beside him, Liam raised his hand.

“Yes, Mr. --?”

“Poindexter,” Liam answered. “Nifflers are carnivorous and eat mainly insects and small rodents when they can catch them.”

“Well done, take five points for Hufflepuff,” Hagrid confirmed before mumbling under his breath. “Coulda swore he was a Weasley.”

Derek snorted a laugh as Liam blushed scarlet. It wasn’t the first time Liam had been assumed a Weasley. There were a lot of Weasleys and they all had red hair and freckles, just like Liam. Derek found it hilarious. Liam found it embarrassing.

They were all given a niffler to feed and walk around the grounds looking for shiny things. Derek’s niffler didn’t seem to like him and snapped at his fingers when he offered it a worm instead of eating it.

“Dude, chill,” he said to the creature. Liam laughed beside him.

“Chill isn’t gonna work on these guys,” he teased. “You have to be gentle and kind to them.”

Liam’s niffler seemed to be literally eating out of his hand, while the other hand stroked its back with long gentle pets.

“How’d you do that?”

Liam shrugged. “I’m just good with animals.” He seemed softer around the edges in a way Derek didn’t remember seeing him before. Then he remembered.

“Oh yeah! I forgot you’re from a farm!” Derek exclaimed, startling his niffler who jolted away from his hand.

Liam blushed again and furrowed his brow, before leaning down to scoop up Derek’s niffler as it fled.

“You’re alright, little one,” he cooed at it. Derek snorted again.

“Oi, don’t laugh!” Liam shouted. “I’ve just saved you losing points, haven’t I?”

“Oh come on, farm boy, I’m not laughing at you. Can I have my niffler back?”

Liam scowled at him and offered Derek’s niffler some bugs as well. “No.”

“What? Liam, come on.”

“No, you’re being mean to her, I won’t give her back.”

“Aw, ‘Dexter, please?”

“You won’t call me ‘farm boy’, will you, little one?” Liam asked the niffler. “No, you’re a good girl.”

The niffler nuzzled into Liam’s hand and made tiny noises of pleasure.

After both of the creatures seemed to have eaten their fill, Liam snagged the leash from Derek’s hand and proceeded to walk both of the nifflers around the grounds where they happily snuffled in the grass and tucked shiny rocks into their pouches as Liam praised them softly.

Derek jogged after them after a couple of minutes. “Wait up, Poindexter!”

The nifflers startled and huddled together beside Liam’s legs.

“Go away, Nurse,” Liam scowled. “You’re scaring them.”

“So teach me how not to,” Derek countered.

Liam stared hard at him for a moment before sighing. “Fine. Sit down, then.”

Derek folded himself quickly onto the grass and looked up at Liam, who was leading the little furry creatures closer to Derek with words of encouragement. Slowly, one of the nifflers approached him.

“Hold out your hand, palm down.”

Derek flung out his hand. The niffler scurried backwards and he snapped his hand back.

“Slowly, Nurse.”

“Sorry.” Derek slowly lifted his hand out in front of himself. The other niffler approached now and got close enough to sniff his fingers. “It tickles!” he whispered with glee.

Liam smiled softly. “I think he’ll let you walk him,” he said, holding out the leash attached to the nearer niffler. “Stand slowly though.”

Derek stood as slowly as he could and let his niffler lead the way back to treasure hunting in the grass. He and Liam walked side by side for a bit with their nifflers before Hagrid called them back in.

After all the nifflers were safely back in their crate, Derek bumped his shoulder into Liam’s.

“Thanks for helping me,” he smiled. “Knew it would come in handy to know a farm boy eventually.”

“Piss off, Nurse,” Liam shoved him hard and stormed off.

“What happened now? Chris asked from behind him.

“I have no idea,” Derek answered, watching his friend practically running up to the castle.

~

**Liam**

Liam already got teased at primary school for smelling like manure and horses because the smell never quite came off after morning chores on the farm. It was a fact of life living where he did. But he had thought those days were behind him.

He still worked on his family’s farm in the summers of course, but these days he didn’t have to wake before dawn to muck out stalls and milk cows. He didn’t come to class with grass stains on his jeans or dirt under his fingernails.

He had been safe.

He just had to agree to take Care of Magical Creatures and open himself up to these jokes again. Why did he do this to himself?

He had hoped that after they were named Beaters together the teasing would stop, but Nurse seemed to be having more fun than ever with the ‘farm boy’ jokes. It had been four weeks of Liam gritting his teeth through a class he had been so excited about it. And Nurse had finally gone too far.

When Chris found him hiding in the dormitory afterwards he pretended he hadn’t been crying and Chris thankfully let him get away with it.

“I’m dropping the class,” Liam announced by way of greeting.

“What? No!” Chris gasped. “You can’t drop it, it’s our frog class!”

Liam levelled a glare at him but there was no real heat. He could never really be mad at Chris.

“I am not going to put myself in that position again. I’m not.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Liam, please.”

“I live on a farm. I’m good at Care of Magical Creatures. I just… understand animals.”

“Right, I know that. What’s the problem?”

“Nurse. The problem is always Nurse.”

“But I thought you guys were getting along better now?” Chris frowned.

Liam just sighed.

They had been, is the problem. In a lot of ways. They had great chemistry on the Quidditch pitch and that feeling of pure euphoria did a lot to dull the pain of Derek’s teasing. Or maybe he had softened them. Liam wasn’t sure which.

But not during Magical Creatures.

There, Derek just had to latch onto Liam’s softest part and tease him for it. And every time, Liam would rise to the bait and snap. Every week this happened and Liam was sick of it.

“Please, just give it another week. I’ll talk to him. I promise,” Chris said earnestly.

Liam shrugged.

“Please? For me?”

Liam let out a tiny smile. He couldn’t resist Chris’s puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah, alright.”

Chris grinned at him. “Come on, we’ve got practice.”

~

Chris seemed to have kept his word because the next day at breakfast Derek tripped into the seat beside him and apologized.

“I’m sorry about the farm jokes.”

Liam stared at him. It was too early for this.

“Chris said you used to get teased a lot for living on a farm and that it bothered you and I’m sorry. Really. I thought we were just doing our usual bickering.”

“Oh.”

Liam wasn’t always sure what he and Derek were. They were classmates, sure. Roommates, too. Friends, maybe. They sure seemed to fight a lot for friends. Although the bite had faded out of their fights by now. He supposed they were friends.

“You can tell me these things, Liam,” Derek said softly.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not.”

Liam shrugged and dug into his oatmeal again.

“Well, either way, I’ll stop. I’ll just go back to teasing you for your terrible handwriting instead,” Derek bumped his shoulder into Liam’s.

“Thanks.”

“You’ll tell me? If something else really bothers you?”

“Yeah, alright. Can I still tease you about your weird obsession with poetry?”

“Yeah. Chill.”

Liam rolled his eyes but let a small smile show on his face.

~

Before he knew it, it was time for their first game. Liam was thrilled but he also thought that he might be sick. They were playing Ravenclaw, a fact which both Lardo and their Seeker, Eric Bittle, were oddly obsessed with. Something to do with “unfairly attractive Ravenclaw chasers.”

He knew he and Nurse were a solid Beater pair. He knew Caitlin, Adam, and Larissa (he still wasn’t sure where the nickname Lardo came from and at this point, he was afraid to ask) were a great Chaser team. He knew Eric was fast and keen. He knew Chris was a bloody Keeper prodigy.

But still, they were a young team and 3 out of the 7 of them had never played a real game before. It was going to be tough.

At Mr Mashkov’s whistle, they all shot into the air.

Liam was vaguely aware of his Chasers getting the quaffle in the initial toss and rocketing towards the Ravenclaw goal posts, closely followed by a bludger. Liam shot forward to intercept it, rocketing it back towards the Ravenclaw Chasers, and it was non-stop from then on.

Caitlin fit seamlessly into their Chaser line up and their formations were really quite beautiful when Derek and Liam could keep the bludgers away. They moved in tandem around the pitch, redirecting bludgers with strong swings and reading each other’s movements as though they’d been playing together for years.

They were up 60-20 when it happened. The Ravenclaw seeker went into a dive, gunning for the snitch. Eric was close behind him but the other seeker was definitely going to get there first. Liam spotted a bludger and redirected himself to whack it towards the Seeker. But as he pulled his bat back, Derek was suddenly in his space, aiming at the same bludger. They collided, nearly avoiding falling off of their brooms, and by the time they had righted themselves, the other Seeker had caught the snitch and ended the game, 60-170, Ravenclaw.

Liam groaned as they flew down to the pitch. When they touched down he turned to Derek.

“I had it!” He shouted. “I bloody well had it and you knew it! What were you doing?”

“I didn’t see you! I was trying to get the bludger!”

“Oh shut yer gob,” Liam scowled.

“Honest, I didn’t!” Derek sputtered.

“Yer full a shite.” Liam could feel his accent getting stronger as the blush grew on his face but he was past caring. He had that bludger! Why couldn’t Nurse just play the damn game properly?

“Guys! Don’t fight!” Chris got between them. “Their Seeker is really good. We’ll get them next time, alright?”

Derek stormed off and Liam walked more slowly toward the locker room, giving him his space. If it came down to a choice between them, he knew who Lardo would pick and it wasn’t Liam. He needed to get his head on straight.

He didn’t speak to anyone while he showered off the filth of the game off and made himself calm down. He managed a weak smile in Chris’ direction but otherwise didn’t interact. He knew he was in a bad headspace and he knew how to take care of it, but he couldn’t get away just yet.

Lardo sat them down for a debrief of the match and set up a plan to improve for their next game. Liam barely paid attention. He focused on his breathing and on unclenching.

~

He sat with Lardo and Eric at dinner that evening, on the opposite end of the table from Derek. He wasn’t ready to interact with him just yet. After a few moments, he realized why they were sitting away from the rest of the team though. They were _still_ discussing the Ravenclaw Chasers.

“That goal was so ridiculous, though! I didn’t even see how he did it!”

“I have no idea, he was on one end of the pitch and then suddenly he was at the goal and Chris couldn’t get a hand on it!”

“Unfair.”

“So unfair.”

“Who are you talking about?” Liam interrupted.

“Oh, Larissa just has a bit of a crush on Knight,” Eric said slyly.

“I do not!”

“I really think you do!”

“Well Eric has a crush on Zimmermann,” Lardo shot back with a smirk.

“Wasn’t denying it, Duan.”

Lardo sighed before announcing that she would not sit and tolerate this kind of abuse and heading up to the common room by way of the Ravenclaw table, where she playfully ruffled Knight’s hair.

“Did you and Derek talk out whatever you were yelling about after the game?” Eric asked.

Liam glared at him. “No. I haven’t seen him.”

“Really? You three do everything together!” Eric raised an eyebrow.

“Well, not today we don’t.”

Liam tried to act like it didn’t bother him but he knew his cheeks were flushing. Eric reached over and patted his hand.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“I would be if Nurse would just be where he was supposed to be on the pitch,” he grumbled.

“Oi, are you still on about that?” Nurse was suddenly behind him.

“Yeah, I bloody well am!”

“You ever think you were the one in the wrong place, mate?”

“I’m not your feckin’ mate, Nurse,” Liam swore as his accent rose again. He had to stop getting so riled up by this stupid boy!

“Whatever, Poindexter. Come find me when you’ve chilled out.”

“Piss off.”

For the second time that day, Derek Nurse stormed away from Liam. Across the table, Eric sighed.

“Why can’t you two get along?”

“Don’t worry about it, Eric. Tell me about this Zimmermann bloke.”

Liam knew he had taken the right approach because Eric’s eyes lit up immediately and he began to wax poetic about Jack Zimmermann, captain of the Ravenclaw team and owner of the finest arse in Hogwarts.

“That’s quite a feat,” Liam agreed.

“You should see it. It’s basically the eighth wonder of the world.”

Liam snorted but waved Eric on who gladly continued listing the many virtues of the Ravenclaw captain.

“You wouldn’t understand, I suppose,” Eric sighed at last. “Well, I’m off to bed. You gonna stay down here?”

“Yeah, gonna do a bit more studying.”

“Alright. See ya, Liam.”

Liam waved him off to bed and pulled out his books. Best to avoid Nurse as long as he could if he was in a bad mood. For everyone.

When he finally got back to the dorms that night, Nurse was already asleep.

~

**Derek**

When Derek heard Liam coming upstairs that evening, he pretended to be asleep. He listened as Liam shuffled around, changing clothes and setting out what he needed for his morning class. He heard him traipse in and out of the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. The boy was a creature of habit. Within 20 minutes, Liam was in bed. A few minutes after that his breathing had evened out and Derek knew he was asleep.

Derek rolled over, staring at the sleeping form in the bed beside him. He hated fighting with Liam. Not that Liam believed that. But he really did. They got along so much better these days but there were days when Liam put up all his walls and the only thing Derek could do to break them down was to yell.

It was made worse by the fact that they had played really well until then. They had connected on the pitch, made sure that one of them was always in control of the bludgers, and they had largely kept the Ravenclaws from scoring. He had seen their Seeker go into a dive though and gotten desperate. He had shot for a bludger without checking for where Liam was and apparently Liam had done the same thing and they had collided.

And now Liam was mad at him. Again.

Why did it take so little for Liam to fly off the handle like that? They were friends, but Liam always seemed to assume the worst out of Derek. He didn’t know what he had done wrong.

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night.

~

In the morning, he felt every minute of his tossing and turning as he sat bleary-eyed at the Hufflepuff table for breakfast.

Chris greeted him with a hug. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said.

Derek wasn’t sure if he was talking about the game or about his fight with Liam. Probably a bit of both.

Derek nodded and didn’t meet Chris’ eye.

Chris sighed but let it drop.

Liam arrived in the Great Hall shortly afterwards and tried to sit further down the table but Chris snagged him and he sat down across from Derek.

“Hey,” he said.

Derek scowled at him and bit off a bite of toast angrily.

Liam looked down and didn’t talk again as Chris filled the silence with inane ramblings about every topic imaginable. He was good at knowing when it shouldn’t be silent.

Throughout the day, Derek kept his distance. It was a Sunday so he could easily hole up in the library to work and not be bothered. Chris dropped by for a bit but as Derek wasn’t in the mood for chatting he left after only a few minutes, sensing Derek’s need to be alone.

That night at dinner - he had skipped lunch - Liam tried to talk to him again.

“You alright?”

Derek grunted.

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said after the game. I was just frustrated.”

“Yeah, well I’m frustrated with you,” Derek shot back. He wasn’t really sure that ‘frustrated’ was the right word but it was the first that came to mind.

“What? Why?”

“Because you won’t drop this! Just let it go, Poindexter!”

Liam glared at him. “What is your problem, Nurse?”

“Nothing,” Derek bit out. “Just leave me alone.”

“Whatever,” Liam huffed and took his plate further down the table to eat with Adam instead.

Derek didn’t care. He didn’t. He just wanted to eat his dinner in peace, no interfering Irish boys allowed. He would talk to Poindexter when he was good and ready.

He went back to the common room after dinner to hang out with Chris and talk about their Divination homework. When Liam entered he took one look at Chris and Derek huddled together in an overstuffed chair-and-a-half and stormed off to the dormitory.

“What is going on with you two?” Chris asked.

“Nothing,” Derek murmured. Chris levelled him with an unimpressed stare. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Chris seemed to accept that more readily and turned the conversation back to their star charts.

~

The school week was rough. He felt bad for dragging Chris into their drama, but he still wasn’t ready to talk to Poindexter and Chris wasn’t ready to pick sides, so he was awkwardly stuck in the middle.

He paired up with Caitlin Farmer in potions and left Liam and Chris to their own potion. Chris kept shooting looks at Caitlin, who rolled her eyes dramatically but seemed to give in. When the room was full of the sounds of simmering cauldrons, she spoke.

“Seriously, Nurse, what is going on with you and Poindexter?” she asked quietly, letting it disappear into the murmurs around the classroom.

Derek shot a glare at Chris who pointedly refused to return his gaze.

“Nothing more than Poindexter being his usual shit. He’s got his knickers in a twist over the game and I don’t want to talk to him.”

“That doesn’t seem like the only thing going on here,” Caitlin countered, stirring in their next ingredient. “It seems like a bigger fight than that. This is like, first year level of fighting. So I ask again, what is going on with you two?”

Derek sighed and snuck a glance at the other pair.

“I just… I thought we were better, you know?”

Caitlin nodded.

“I thought we were friends these days. I thought we were even good teammates. And he doesn’t seem to think the same. I heard him talking with Eric last week. Before all this stuff with the match. He doesn’t consider us friends. He never has. I’m just a fool.”

“I think he was just upset when he said that. I’m sure he thinks of you as his friend!” Caitlin tried to reassure him.

Derek just shook his head. “You didn’t hear him. He hates that we’re on the team together. He always has. He wanted to be on the team so badly he was willing to ‘put up with’ me as a partner.”

“He didn’t mean that,” she said quietly.

“I thought so too at first but he was so quick to jump on me at the match I’m beginning to think he did.” Now that he was talking about it, the words wouldn’t stop. “He’s always going on about how I don’t understand him, growing up in a poor muggle family but when I ask him to help me understand he just gets all upset.” He drew a shuddering breath and ploughed on. “And he doesn’t want to understand me either. He’s always talking about the War like I didn’t live through it and lose family in it and have all sorts of accusations raised at my family because those bloody racists will say anything when they think there are no repercussions. It’s all just bollocks and I’m sick of it.”

Caitlin pulled him in for a sideways hug quickly. “I’m sorry, Derek. Do you want me to talk to him?”

“Why should you? He’s not my friend and he never will be. I was only fooling myself.”

Caitlin gave him a sad look and thankfully pretended not to notice as Derek wiped his eyes.

Chris let him stew for a full day before he brought it up again.

“Cait said you’re still upset over Liam and the match.”

Derek glared at him. “I don’t appreciate you sending her in to get me to talk, either.”

Chris has the good grace to look embarrassed. “She’s worried about you, too, you know.”

“Doubt it,” Derek muttered.

“She is! We make a good team and she wants you to get along!”

“So this is about the team.”

“Oh, well, kinda,” Chris stutters. “I’m worried about the team but mostly I’m worried about you guys.”

Derek ignored him. “Fine, we’ll get along for the sake of the team. But don’t expect anything else.”

Chris just sighed.

~

At breakfast Wednesday morning he approached Liam where he was sitting with Chris and Caitlin.

“We need to get along for the sake of the team,” he announced. “So. Quidditch truce?” he held out his hand to Liam, ignoring the weird looks both Chris and Caitlin were giving him. The other boy took it wordlessly and shook it once.

“Fine,” Liam agreed. “A truce.”

“Fine,” Derek echoed, hoping his voice didn’t break. Then he walked away, all the way back to the common room, without breakfast. His eyes were stinging with tears by the time he made it back, but at least he didn’t run into anyone on the way.

If he spent the morning writing sad poetry in his diary, no one needed to know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to drop in to address the Nurse family practicing Islam before this chapter. I myself am not muslim and I know magic is haram in islam, but the Nurse family belong to a magical muslim community where it is not haram. From my understanding, magic is haram because it’s associated with demons/evil. The Nurse family/Potter Universe magic is not a demonic/evil magic, and magical muslims believe it comes from Allah, not in opposition. Please let me know if something still seems off to you, but please know I do not mean anything as an insult, I just really love Muslim!Nursey and wanted to include him in this universe. Shout out to areteisjohnlocked for helping me talk through these things. Also for the tumblr writingwithcolor which was very helpful.  
> and of course a million thanks to my betas sav and denois, i couldn't do this without you <3

**Liam**

By the time Liam had gotten over the shock of Derek’s truce, the other boy was already gone.

“What the bloody hell just happened?”

Chris just shook his head sadly.

“He’ll come around,” assured Caitlin.

Liam didn’t believe them.

The truce itself held up pretty well, all things considered. They worked together in classes when they had to and their Quidditch practice didn’t suffer. His birthday came and went without much fanfare.

But Derek never talked to him anymore. It made him realize just how much they had talked before. Halloween especially was weird, since the three frogs usually ate until they couldn’t anymore and passed out on the Common Room couch.

He maybe missed it a little.

Just a little.

But it worked for a few weeks.

Then one day, Liam was sitting in the library, bent over his homework, when he heard whispering from the aisle over.

“Hey Eric, can I talk to you?”

“Of course, Chris. What’s on your mind?”

Liam scowled. He knew exactly what Chris was doing and he didn’t need his help, alright?

“It’s Liam and Derek,” the whisper came softly. “But don’t tell them I talked to you.”

Liam reined in a huff. He wouldn’t hear anything if they caught him eavesdropping.

“Let me guess, you’re sick and tired of them sneering at each other?”

Liam’s quill snapped with the force he was pushing it into the table. He didn’t _sneer_ at Derek. In fact, it was Derek who sneered at _him_!

“Well, I don’t want to get them in trouble, please don’t tell Larissa, but they… well, they’re still fighting. Even with the whole truce thing. They used to be friends! I just… they’re my best friends. Could you maybe talk to them? Neither of them will listen to me anymore. They both just keep saying they’re fine and not fighting but there’s always this… tension?”

There was a slight shuffle as Eric sighed.

“I know what you mean.”

“They never talk. And when they do they’re arguing. And I thought they had gotten past it, you know? But please don’t tell Larissa, I really don’t want them to get in trouble!”

“I’ll talk to them,” Eric promised. “You’re a good friend, Chris.”

They fell quiet after that but Liam sat for a long time more, thinking it over. Sure, Chris was worried about him, and it wasn’t like he had been especially forthcoming about his emotions. But really, asking Eric to get involved?

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Eric, he just wasn’t terribly close with him. Eric had friends in his own year and fifth year and even after joining the Quidditch team he hadn’t become very good friends with him. Liam always felt like he was interfering with the older boy when he had talked with him. He seemed to be friends with most of the school, always helping professors outside of class, spending time in the kitchen with the house elves, and of course, he was a great Quidditch player.

He had actually been excited to meet another muggleborn Hufflepuff and Eric seemed so sweet, but they hadn’t ever really connected into a proper friendship. So now here he was, another of Eric’s projects.

How did he want to handle this? He supposed it was best to pretend he hadn’t heard him. If he called them out on it they would be put on the defensive immediately. Best to see what approach Eric took first.

~

Eric found him in the common room that night.

“This seat taken?” he gestured at the armchair beside Liam. Liam shook his head and waved at it. Eric sat.

He pulled out some homework and worked on it for a while before he spoke again.

“Is there anything I can do to help with you and Nurse? I know you two are still fighting.”

Liam sighed. Just going straight in for it, then. Might as well, Liam had only been going over his portion of it for the last six hours.

“Eric, I grew up on a farm in County Kerry, mucking stalls and milking cows. I still work every summer to help pay for my school books and robes. Nurse lives in a bloody manor. How am I the privileged one here?”

“Oh, you’re upset because he called you privileged?”

“... Well, no. But he’s always going on about that shite like he didn’t grow up in a wizard manor and has everything he could ever need at school or elsewhere. And I don’t understand why Larissa paired us together! Every time I try to go over plays with him he just goes, ‘Hey. Chill.’ Why does he keep saying that?”

Liam knew he was rambling but he didn’t realize how frustrated he had gotten until his discarded hat suddenly caught fire.

“Shite!” Liam shouted, but Eric was faster, whipping his wand and casting the extinguishing spell on the hat. In its place was a ruin of cotton.

“Bloody hell,” Liam groaned. “Now I’ve got to find the money to replace that, too.”

“ _Reparo_ ,” Eric said, tapping the smouldering mess with his wand. It sprang back up into its former shape. “Don’t think so hard about it, Liam. You and Derek may come from different worlds, but you can still get along. And if you ever need to talk about coming from a muggle family you know I’m always here, right?”

Liam nodded glumly.

“Hey, you didn’t grow up in a magical household so you can probably cook, can’t you?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, all these silly wizarding born kids don’t know a thing about working in the kitchen because their parents always used spells for everything. Larissa can barely hold a knife!” he giggled.

“Well, yeah, of course. I grew up cooking for the family with my mam,” Liam confirmed. “I’m the second oldest of five and she put me to work chopping and watching pots and the like. We all did. It’s part of growing up in a big family.”

Eric grinned. “Want to come see the kitchens?”

Liam shrugged but got up, stowing his homework out of the way and following Eric from the Common Room.

Despite living in the dorms closest to the kitchens, Liam had never been. He knew house elves made the food and sent it up - Eric was very keen on educating all new first years on just who provided their food and cleaned their homes - but he’d never gone to see it in action.

When Eric pushed the kitchen door open and gestured Liam inside, a great cry went up from the house elves.

“Master Eric!” they shouted, each vying for his attention.

“What do you want to make?”

“Can I show you the new berries we just got in?”

“Who’s your friend?”

Eric laughed brightly and wrapped an arm around Liam’s shoulder.

“This is Liam. He likes to cook, too. I thought I’d introduce you all.”

Liam gave a little wave. There were so many of them he felt a bit overwhelmed.

Eric just smiled. “I found that these guys were willing to let me use the kitchens in my second week at Hogwarts. I was so homesick, in over my head learning about the whole wizarding world on top of classes I’d never heard of and I gravitated towards the kitchen like instinct. It had always been where I went when I was at home. It’s where you work through your problems in our house.”

“I get that. So what do you usually make?”

“Oh, well, usually fruit tarts, I have a bit of a sweet tooth,” Eric winked at him, making Liam blush. “Do you want to bake with me?”

“Sure,” Liam let himself smile and Eric led him to a small prep area. “I’ve never really baked much though.”

“That’s alright, I’ll teach you as we go.”

Baking with Eric was oddly easy. He showed him how to combine the butter and flour and roll out the crust, “a bit less angrily, enaid,” cook the filling to syrupy perfection, and soon they had a passable tart to put in the oven.

They sat and chatted while it baked, drinking cups of tea and swapping stories - though it was mostly Eric talking - and generally becoming friends. Eric talked about growing up in Wales with his parents, his dad a football coach at the local secondary school and his mom a teacher at the primary. He was an only child, which Liam couldn’t imagine.

“When I was younger my dad signed me up for football but I was never any good at it. He was thrilled when I got into sport here. Course, thrilled for my dad is a handshake and a nod of approval, but whatever. He’s a stoic guy, you know?”

Liam nodded. He knew the feeling.

“Mine’s the same way. My mam’s always been affectionate but my dad… not as much. All about hard work and getting the job done. Putting your farm above yourself. He wasn’t too happy when I got in here, really; he’d been counting on having me around the farm when I went to secondary up the road.”

Eric nodded and reached out a hand to rub Liam’s back. “Did he come around?”

“Yeah, Professor McGonagall explained everything and he came around but I don’t think he’s ever really liked it or ever will.”

“That’s tough.”

“Yeah.”

Liam was saved from talking about his emotions anymore when Eric’s timer charm went off and he directed him in what to look for on the crust to tell if it was done.

“It’s a beauty,” Eric murmured, pulling out his wand to levitate it onto the stovetop to cool. “Think we should share it with the team or keep it for ourselves?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Eh, I guess they deserve it,” Liam replied with a soft smile. “After you,” he gestured, and Eric walked out of the kitchen, tart levitated in front of him and a wide smile on his face.

The rest of the team was clustered around a table in the back of the common room when they got back. They all turned when Eric announced that he had a tart fresh from the oven, first come first served, and all immediately descended on him.

Except for Nurse.

“You bake, Poindexter?”

Liam scowled immediately. So much for his good mood. “What of it, Nurse?”

Nurse backed up slightly, holding his hands up. “I just didn’t know. It’s chill.”

Liam rolled his eyes but ignored Nurse in favour of a slice of tart. It was pretty good actually. He was pleased with the effort.

~

**Derek**

Eric caught Derek leaving the library the afternoon after he and Liam showed up with a fruit tart suddenly and without explanation.

He hadn’t meant to sound so surprised by Liam’s sudden baking habit, but you’d think after being friends for two and a half years of school he would know that Liam baked. Again, he reminded himself that they weren’t friends. So Liam had secrets. Whatever. So did he. No big deal.

Eric didn’t seem to agree.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, pulling Derek out of the flow of students.

“Is this about Poindexter?”

Eric nodded. “I just wanted to ask if there was something I could do to help with your fighting.”

“We’re not fighting.”

Eric narrowed his eyes. “That truce is just a ceasefire and we both know it. What’s going on with you two? You were doing so much better. I know you two come from very different backgrounds but I don’t think that’s a reason you can’t be friends.”

Derek schooled his face into its chill mask. “Seriously, nothing’s wrong. He doesn’t want to be friends and I’ve accepted that. It’s chill.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Eric said.

Derek chuckled. “I think he made it abundantly clear. Seriously, it’s chill. Besides, we’re not bringing it onto the pitch.”

Eric observed him for a moment.

“Just think about it, okay?”

“Sure.”

~

Derek does think about it, but probably not in the way Eric had wanted him to. Mostly he wondered what had prompted the interaction. Possibly Liam had said something last night when they had been baking, but Derek honestly didn’t buy it. Liam didn’t seem the type to talk out his feelings, especially not with Eric. He hadn’t even realized they were friends, really.

He figured it out that evening in the Common Room when he woke from a nap on the couch to the soft sounds of Chris and Eric talking behind him. He froze, not wanting them to know he was awake.

“Did you talk to them? Are they friends again?”

“I don’t think so, Chris,” Eric sighed. “They’re very different people. They’re gonna have to learn how to talk to each other if they’re gonna be friends.”

That explained it, then. Chris had asked him to intervene.

“But they were friends before!” Chris protested in a soft whine.

“I don’t know what to tell you, enaid. They have to want to be friends and they don’t. There are too many disconnects happening. We can only hope they figure it out eventually.”

They both went off to bed shortly after that but Derek laid there for a while longer, thinking everything over.

Were he and Liam really so bad that Chris had thought it necessary to bring in a third party? Maybe they were disrupting the team and the house more than he thought. Even if they couldn’t be friends maybe they could get along a little better than they were currently managing.

~

At the next Quidditch practice, Eric and Liam seemed thick as thieves and Derek tried not to be jealous. He hadn’t been replaced because he and Liam were apparently never friends. He hung out with Chris instead as they changed for practice and when they took breaks for water.

“What’s the Trace?” he heard Liam ask and just like that he’s pulled into the conversation.

“It’s what they use to track underage wizards to make sure they aren’t doing magic outside of school,” Eric answered.

“That makes sense,” Liam nods. “I figured there was some sort of tracking system when they told us we couldn’t use magic at home.”

“But it doesn’t really work if they’re around adult wizards,” Adam added.

“Right, because it’s assumed to be the adult, not the underage wizard,” Eric agreed.

“That’s ridiculous!” Liam sputtered. “Does that mean you all can use magic over the holidays?”

“My mom would kill me,” Derek said, joining the conversation.

“But the Ministry wouldn’t know,” Liam narrowed his eyes at Derek.

“No,” Adam answered, looking embarrassed.

“That’s such utter shite,” Liam said. “Isn’t it bad enough that we’re underrepresented on the Quidditch teams because we don’t have a place to practice at home?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Derek demanded, before remembering he was going to try to start fewer arguments with Liam.

“Tryouts are the second week of school. I got exactly one week to get back into flying before I had to try out. I’m betting you all spent all summer flying.”

He could save this. He could diffuse this. “Huh, I never thought of it that way.”

“What?” Liam gaped.

“I said I never thought of it that way. I guess we do have an advantage.”

Liam stared at him and in the silence, Lardo resumed practice.

Chris grabbed his elbow before they took to the air again, confusion etched on his features. “Are you alright?”

“Chill,” Derek replied, taking flight.

As he flew, he smiled to himself.

~

**Liam**

After practice that day, Liam walked in a daze back up to the castle.

Derek had actually listened to his argument. He had conceded a point to him. It was odd.

And, well.

Anything Nurse could do…

Liam decided to start with Christmas. It was just around the corner, after all, and what better time to start anew than Christmas?

Derek didn’t exactly celebrate it, but he’d still appreciate a gift. Besides, that’s what Liam did. He gave gifts. He’d never been good with words, preferring to show his affection through gifts and actions. Even at home, he’d done that.

But what to get him?

He got his answer the next Hogsmeade weekend. He was walking with Chris and Derek when Derek suddenly stopped and dragged Chris - who grabbed ahold of Liam - into “Tomes & Scrolls: Specialty Bookshop, Est 1768.”

They went straight to the poetry section and Derek scanned the spines quickly before sighing.

“Nothing new.”

“Sorry, Nurse,” Chris wrapped an arm around Derek.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “Wizards just don’t write poetry much. It’s fine.”

It didn’t seem fine. Which gave Liam an idea. Because while wizards might not write a lot of poetry, muggles _love_ poetry.

He followed his friends to the Three Broomsticks and mulled it over. It wasn’t like he could order something online, computers didn’t work at Hogwarts, there was too much magic in the air. And they definitely didn’t have cable internet. Maybe he could order something by owl from the bookshop. Did they sell muggle books? Sometimes he really wished this school wasn’t in the middle of nowhere.

He decided to ask Eric.

“How do you order muggle things to Hogwarts?” he asked that evening, sitting by the fire.

“Hm? Like my bakeware?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, most of it I just brought from home, but I have ordered a couple things from a catalogue. Sent them to the Hogsmeade Post Office. They’ll forward most anything up to the school. Why, what do you need?”

“Do you have a book catalogue, too?”

“Books?” Eric chuckled. “No, I have no desire to read outside of the heaps of reading for school. What are you looking for?”

“I’m not entirely sure. I wanted to look through some poetry selections. Maybe some muggle poetry about magic? Something like that could work.”

“Can’t help you there, I’m afraid. Although… Do you know Tony Tangredi?”

“Never heard of him. Is he in Hufflepuff?”

“Heavens no, that boy is such a Ravenclaw you have no idea. But he might have a catalogue you could use. I’ll introduce you at breakfast.”

“Thanks, Eric.”

~

The next morning, Eric nodded at the Ravenclaw table as a lanky second-year sat down.

“That’s him.”

“Oh, brilliant,” Liam said, stuffing the last bite of toast into his mouth. “Let’s go.”

Eric stifled a giggle but led the way to the Ravenclaw table.

“Hey, Tony,” Eric greeted.

“Oh, hi, Eric! How are you? How are your classes going? Who’s this?”

“I’m good, and this is Liam. He’s on the Quidditch team with me.”

“Cool, do you like it?”

“Oh, um, yeah, I do,” Liam answered.

Tony smiled brightly at him and opened his mouth, presumably to ask more questions, but Eric interrupted him before he could start.

“Liam was wondering if you had any book catalogues, specifically for any muggle poetry? He’s looking for something but isn’t sure what.”

“Oh! Yeah, I have loads! My parents send them by owl whenever they get delivered, you never know when you’re going to need a new book. Or a shirt. Or Think Geek gadget.”

“Wow,” Liam muttered. “Think I could look through them?”

“Yeah, sure! I’ll bring them to lunch. You said poetry?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Tony.”

“No problem!” He grinned.

“See you, then,” Liam said, heading back to the Hufflepuff table. “He’s… enthusiastic,” he said to Eric when the sat back down.

“He’s something, that’s for sure. Smart kid but lots of questions. You have to head him off sometimes.”

“I can see that.”

Tony showed up to lunch with four catalogues to various bookstores and more questions.

“Did you have any particular poets? Or styles? Lengths? Nationalities?”

“Oh, um, I hadn’t really thought about that. I was hoping for something thematic actually,” Liam added. “About magic.”

“I thought you wanted muggle poetry?”

“I do, but they still write about magic, even if they don’t know it’s real. I thought it would be an interesting collection.”

“Oh!” Tony leafed through the pile until he pulled out a catalogue of children’s books, rifling through the pages quickly. “What about this one?” He pointed at the page where a book called Sky Magic was reviewed. “It’s written for younger audiences but it looks like a really interesting collection!”

Liam scanned the page, reading the review posted alongside the photo of the cover. It seemed to be aimed at 6-8-year-olds but he thought Derek would appreciate the poems anyways, even if they were a bit young for him. He vaguely recognized a couple of the poets in the collection so he figured it was a good one.

“That looks amazing, Tony,” he said when he had read it. “How do I order it?”

Tony grinned and pulled the ordering slip from the centre of the catalogue, handing it to Liam with a quill. He copied down the ISBN and tucked the slip into his robes to send off later.

“Thanks, Tony,” he smiled at the younger boy. “Really, I appreciate it.”

“Of course! Who’s it for? Or is it for yourself? No, you’re muggleborn, too, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s for… a friend,” Liam said, realizing it may as well be true. He and Derek were almost friends. Maybe this would make them friends. It was worth a shot.

“Cool. Let me know how it goes?”

“Sure.”

~

Waiting for the book to be sent by owl was torture. He had gone down to the Hogsmeade post office and ordered it via Postal Order, thankfully they were able to accept the appropriate wizarding money since he had exchanged all of his spending Euros for sickles and knuts.

He threw himself into his studies and worked hard not to rise to Nurse’s various teasing, though he had gotten better. He had stopped teasing about Liam’s family owning a farm in any capacity when Chris talked to him, and he seemed to have also dropped any topics related to Liam’s appearance. It was nice. They actually were spending a lot of time together.

They had even talked about wizard born privilege the other day and had managed to have a somewhat productive conversation without devolving into yelling at each other and getting kicked out of the library.

Their arguments about class privilege and racial privilege had gone less well. But they had finally managed to come to an agreement to defer to Liam on matters of class and Derek on matters of race. Mostly. It was an odd sort of progress.

Another time, Nurse had brought up poetry again and Liam had mentally patted himself on the back for latching onto that particular interest. He was going to love the book.

It finally arrived the last week of classes before the holiday. He thanked the school owl and quickly slid it into his bag before anyone could see.

On the last day of classes before the holiday, Liam carefully wrapped the book and tucked it into his bag for the train. He sat with Chris and Derek in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and they chattered easily about their favourite parts of the holiday break.

“Mine is definitely seeing all my siblings,” Liam said. “I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of their lives only hearing about it by letter.”

“That’s gotta be hard,” Chris said. “Not that I have any siblings, but I do miss my parents.”

“Same,” said Derek. “My family is small but we’re tight, you know?”

Liam nodded.

When it came time to leave Kings Cross station, Liam reached into his bag and withdrew two packages.

“Happy Christmas, Chris,” he said, handing the first over. It was a hat he had knit in Chudley Canon colours, Chris’ favourite Quidditch team.

“Thanks, Liam!” he cried. “Is it alright if I wait to open it until Christmas? I really love opening everything at once.”

“Of course, whatever you want.”

Chris handed him a gift as well. “You do the same, alright?”

“Alright,” he agreed, then, taking a breath, he turned to Derek. “Derek, this is for you. Happy Christmas. See you next term.”

He shoved the wrapped poetry book into Derek’s hands and turned, walking quickly down the platform and out of sight before either of them could catch up to him. He didn’t want to see the look of confusion on Derek’s face, nor have the awkward “but I didn’t get you anything” conversation. Right now, all he wanted to see was his family, and as he headed towards the barrier between platforms 9 and 10, he saw his mam waiting by the portkey station.

Usually loud and boisterous, she was waiting quietly, looking out of place. She smiled when she spotted him and he dove into her arms and held tightly.

“Hullo, Liam.”

“Hi, Mam.”

“Have a good trip down?”

“Yeah. You?”

Finally, he stepped back from her embrace, though she held onto his arms, looking him up and down.

“You’ve grown again,” she tutted.

Liam ducked his head, blushing. “My robes still fit fine, don’t worry.”

“If you say so. Now, do I get to meet your new friend? You’ve written a lot about Derek this term.”

“Oh, um,” Liam stalled. “No, he had to go find his parents already. Maybe next time.”

She levelled him a look that said that she knew he was lying but wouldn’t call him on it in public. “Come along, we have to pick up your portkey still. Your sisters are eager to see you.”

“Not Paddy?”

“You know your brother,” she grinned at him.

~

**Derek**

Derek doesn’t move as Liam runs - actually runs - away from him. After handing him a Christmas gift. What was his life?

He stared down at the neatly gift-wrapped box then looked up at Chris.

“What just happened?” Derek asked, still too stunned to move.

Chris giggled. “I got you something too, and I promise not to literally run away after I give it to you.”

“Same,” Derek replied, pulling a gift, wrapped far less neatly than the one from Liam, out of his bag. He exchanged it for the one Chris had also extracted.

“Happy Christmas, Derek,” Chris said with a smile, holding his arms out for a hug. Derek gladly stepped into them.

“Happy Christmas, Chris. Write to me?” He squeezed his best friend once more before stepping back.

“Of course. You too. And maybe one to Liam while you’re at it,” Chris teased.

“I have no idea what’s going on with him anymore,” Derek shook his head.

“Well, apparently you two give Christmas gifts now.”

“Apparently we do. Guess I’ll send him his by owl?”

“Good plan. I gotta go, my parents will be waiting.”

“Yeah, see ya, Chow.”

Derek tucked the small box into his bag and headed out to find his parents. He walked towards the barrier and found his mom and dad about halfway down the platform.

“Derek!” His mother cried, opening her arms.

“As salam aleykum,” Derek greeted, leaning in slightly to hug her.

“Wa aleykum as salam,” she replied, hugging him tightly. “How was the train? I trust you didn’t get into any trouble.”

“Mama,” Derek rolled his eyes as she released him. She tugged his face to her with her palms on his cheeks.

“I worry about you, Habibi.”

“I know. I missed you.”

“Sweet boy. Come, we’ll apparate you home. Don’t want to mess with the trains this close to Christmas.”

Derek nodded and turned to his dad. He was the opposite of his mother, tall and slim with darker skin and tightly coiled curls to her long flowing waves. He stepped into his arms as well, though their hug was much shorter.

“You grew again,” was all he said. Derek grinned.

“I’m gonna be taller than you, soon.”

“We’ll see. You have everything?”

Derek nodded, taking a firm grip on his father’s arm. He felt the familiar tug at his navel as his father disapperated with a loud crack.

The pull snapped away and Derek opened his eyes to the front gate of their manor. He hoisted his bag higher on his shoulder and followed his parents through the gate. Two weeks at home!

He took his bag up to his room, first, pulling out the gifts from Chris and Liam. He knew Chris waited until Christmas to open his but he opened Chris’ first. He was impatient. And it wasn’t like he celebrated Christmas anyway. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?

Beneath the paper was a beautiful leather journal, tied with a thin cord. Tucked beneath that was a note in Chris’ neat handwriting.

_Derek,_

_This journal may look normal, but it’s actually charmed! Anyone who tries to open it besides you will suddenly remember an urgent appointment elsewhere, so you can have a place to put all your poetry and musings without having to worry about nosy classmates._

_Happy Christmas!_

_Chris_

This was perfect! He pulled the cord loose and the journal fell perfectly open. He smoothed it out on his desk and picked up a quill. He was a few days late for Ashura but he could still write a poem for Husayn ibn Ali.

As he wrote, he relaxed back into his home, his family, his traditions. As much as he loved Hogwarts and all the friends he had there, sometimes it was really nice to just be home. He never felt comfortable fasting or observing when he was at school, other than Ramadan, which was just too important to miss.

After a while, he sat back to reread his piece and smiled to himself. It was good. He went downstairs to show his parents, and they shared theirs with him as well.

It wasn’t until after dinner, sated and full of his mother’s cooking, that he remembered he hadn’t opened Liam’s gift. He excused himself and headed back upstairs, where he pulled out the unexpected gift and ripped open the paper.

Inside was a book.

“Sky Magic,” he murmured to himself, running his fingers along the cover. He flipped through it and discovered it was a collection of poetry. Muggle poetry!

Each poem was a different aspect of the sky, moving through a day and night and admiring the magic in the nature of the sky. It was brilliant.

Derek flipped back to the front cover, where there was a note scrawled from Liam.

_Derek,_

_I know you like poetry and I thought you’d enjoy a look at how muggle children grow up and see magic in their world. Happy Christmas._

_Liam_

The poems were simple but elegant and as he looked again it was quite clear that the collection was meant for children. Derek read each one through, tracing the illustrations and musing over growing up without magic, instead seeing it in the night sky.

When he’d read through each poem, he closed the book, leaning against his bed and thinking. He should definitely get Liam something. It had to be something useful, he would never stand for trinkets and wasted money. He wouldn’t like anything flashy either. Something he could use for Quidditch, maybe?

Liam was an excellent player, even with his lack of practice space over summers and having never been on a broom until he was 11. He’d just have to make sure they didn’t need magic to work. Liam couldn’t get away with any magic living with his Muggle family the way Derek could at Nurse Manor.

He’d ask his parents to take him shopping in the morning. He tucked the poetry book under his pillow rather than get up to put it on the desk and drifted off to sleep with muggle poetry dancing through his thoughts.

~

He showed his parents the book at breakfast the next morning.

“What a thoughtful gift,” his mother agreed.

“Exactly! But I didn’t get him anything. I wasn’t really sure if we were friends enough to give gifts. But I have a really good idea. Can we go to Diagon Alley today?”

His parents exchanged a soft smile. “Of course, Habibi.”

And so that afternoon found the Nurse family in Diagon Alley.

“I need to replenish the house potions stock,” his mother said bustling off in one direction while he and his father headed for the Quidditch shop.

Derek perused the Quidditch books, broomstick maintenance kits, and professional Quidditch player figurines. The figurines were definitely out, Liam would appreciate something useful far more than a collector’s item. The books were a possibility, but Derek didn’t often see Liam read for fun and thought it read more like a lazy gift, something he himself would like but not taking into account what Liam liked.

As he looked over the broomstick care kits, he noted several of them required magic to use, but a nice one at the end of the shelf boasted “no magic required!” and seemed to have everything Liam would need to take care of his borrowed school broom. It could certainly use some love.

He wasn’t sure if Liam was allowed to bring it home over the holidays but it was better to be on the safe side and make sure he had something he could use anywhere. Maybe next year he could get him his own broomstick.

No, that was too much.

He shook his head and picked the kit up off the shelf.

He showed it to his father who nodded and led the way to the register to pay.

“I’m glad you and Liam are getting along,” he said as they waited in line.

Derek shot him a puzzled look.

“I know you’ve worried about him in the past.”

Derek opened his mouth to protest.

“Don’t try to deny it. You’re my son, I know you better than that. You write about him all the time. I can tell. You worry like your mother,” he finished with a small smile.

“Chill, Dad,” Derek blushed. His dad just chuckled.

That night, he wrapped the kit up and sat at his desk to write a letter to go with it for Liam.

_Dear Liam,_

_Thank you so much for the book! I think my favourite is the Carl Sandberg poem about the stars._

_‘Stars are so far away they never speak when spoken to.’_

_How sad that muggles speak to the stars and cannot hear their replies. Do you ever read for your family? I know you didn’t take divination with Chris and I but I bet you could learn some basics if you wanted. You can borrow my books._

_Hope you enjoy the gift and have a good Christmas with your family._

_Derek_

He tucked the note into the wrapping, secured it with string, and took it to his family’s little owlery, where he instructed a large eagle owl on where to take it. He hoped the bird could make it to Ireland for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life updates are a thing on longform fics, i think… so life update for y’all! I’ve gotten through edits of half this monster now, my betas are already working on ch 3, and everything is amazing. I keep finding bits that i forgot i wrote in the whirlwind that is nanowrimo and surprising myself. It’s fun.  
> I hope everyone has a good holiday, stay strong those of you dealing with toxic family or not being out. If you need a surrogate parent/dad hit me up. I will validate the SHIT out of all of you.  
> And finally, thank you to all you reading this! I know it’s a big thing and will take months to actually finish posting (yes there really are 9 chapters) but i’m so excited to share with you!  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw in this chapter for a panic attack  
> as always, a million thanks to my beta readers Denois and Sav

**Liam**

Liam was exhausted.

He’d slept poorly the night before, worried about how Derek would receive the gift. While they waited for their portkey, his mam had asked him all sorts of questions about the term and his friends and the team - letters only did so much - and his throat was going a bit hoarse from talking when their time finally came and they were transported to their front lawn by an old boot.

Naturally, he was instantly tackled by his three younger sisters, Niamh, Maeve, and Erin.

“Liam, I missed you!”

“How was school?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“What spells did you learn?”

“Will you show me?”

“Liam, make me fly!”

Liam laughed as his sisters clustered around him. He hooked his arms around Niamh’s waist, swinging her into the air. She squealed in delight as the older two girls whooped and chased after them.

“Where’s Pa and Paddy?” he asked Erin, setting Niamh down.

“Putting together dinner.”

“Lead on, MacDuff,” he said, swinging a still giggling Niamh around to his back. The four youngest Poindexters trampled into the kitchen, their mother trailing behind them, to find their brother and dad carving a roast for the family.

“Liam,” his pa greeted, pulling him into a hug.

“Hi, Pa, dinner smells good.”

“Good to see you, Liam. Go get washed up.”

Paddy pulled Liam into a one-armed hug, patting him perfunctorily on the back before going back to the dinner preparations. Liam shook his head fondly.

“Good to see you too, Paddy,” he said, heading to the bathroom.

After he had washed up, he helped Erin set the table, bowed his head as his pa said grace, and tore into the roast and potatoes with a fervour.

Hogwarts always had good food, but there was nothing like home cooking.

His family peppered him with questions and filled him in on gossip around town and from the various family that Liam didn’t keep in touch with. Not everyone knew he was a wizard, just the close family, and he largely let his mam update the larger family about his schoolwork and friends. But for now it was just his siblings and parents and he was free to talk about all the amazing magic he had learned that term.

He had to explain the rules of quidditch again before he could tell them about his games, though he left out the fighting with Nurse. They were all very impressed with his progress, even if they didn’t quite understand all the nuances of the sport.

Later that night, Erin and Liam cuddled up on the couch when the younger girls went to bed.

Liam shared his room with his brother Paddy, and the girls all shared a room, so the only privacy to be had was on the couch. Everyone in the family knew to leave them alone when they wrapped themselves up in blankets and huddled with their heads together. They were only a year apart and had always been close.

Liam’s first year away at school had been heart-wrenching. He had known he would go off to secondary school without her for a year but he’d always counted on her joining him the year after. Not so with Hogwarts. They had held out hope through his first year, but when Erin hadn’t gotten her own Hogwarts letter, both of them had cried for hours.

Still, the two were thick as thieves and wrote letters to each other constantly. She knew all about the drama with Nurse.

“So?” she prompted.

Liam let out a great sigh. “I don’t even know anymore, Erin. He seems to have actually started listening when I talk, so I try to do the same, and suddenly… well, I got him a Christmas gift. I think we’re friends?”

“You did? What’d he say?”

“Well, nothing.”

“He said nothing when you handed him a Christmas gift after two and a half years of fighting.”

“I suppose he might have, but I ran away.”

“Liam, you didn’t.”

Liam grimaced but nodded. “I really did. I’m a mess, Er.”

“Did he give you anything?”

Liam snorted. “Course not. I said I _think_ we’re friends. I don’t think we’re really there yet. He definitely looked surprised.”

“What’d you get him anyways?”

“Oh, um, it was a book of poetry. It’s a muggle book, y’know, non-magical authors, about the magic of nature? I didn’t really get it but I thought he’d appreciate it.”

“That’s really thoughtful, Liam. I think you are friends.”

Liam shoved at her gently. “Stop.”

Erin held her hands in front of her chest in surrender.

“Tell me about your term?”

“Margery is still teasing me,” she said after a moment. “About you, but also about other stuff. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“School sucks without you.”

“Hogwarts is less awesome without you.”

“Oh fuck off,” Erin laughed.

~

Christmas Eve, a package arrived by owl. Thankfully, the owl waited patiently in the garden with the gift, because the Poindexter house was currently full to the rafters with Poindexter family from all across County Kerry, gossiping and sharing food.

Liam saw the giant bird land and darted outside to collect it. The handwriting on the outside was a familiar curly script and Liam firmly shoved down any emotional response to it as he told his mam it was from a friend at school and quickly took it upstairs to stow in his room.

Erin followed him, though, and demanded he open it at once.

“What if it’s something magical?” He asked, trying to avoid the topic.

“It won’t be, he knows you live with us muggles. Come on, I’m so bored!”

“Fine, but if this gets me in trouble I’m taking you down with me.”

He opened the note tucked into the wrapping first, reading it quickly. He felt the heat rise in his cheeks as he read and Erin peered over his shoulder to look at it.

“Oi! My letter!”

“You’re blushing! I wanna read it!”

A brief tussle ensued, which Erin won. She cleared her throat and began to read aloud dramatically.

_“‘Dear Liam,’_ so formal! _‘Thank you so much for the book! I think my favourite is the Carl Sandberg poem about the stars.’_ Oh my god, he actually read it. _‘Stars are so far away they never speak when spoken to.’_ So he’s a sap. You sure know how to pick them, Liam.”

“I did not _pick_ him, God, Erin,” Liam made a grab for the letter but Erin held it at arm's length and continued to read.

_“‘How sad that muggles speak to the stars and cannot hear their replies.’_ What a complete tosser. ‘ _Do you ever read for your family? I know you didn’t take divination with Chris and I, but I bet you could learn some basics if you wanted. You can borrow my books.’_ Wow, Liam, this guy sounds like a grade A wanker. ‘ _Hope you enjoy the gift and have a good Christmas with your family. Derek’_

Finally, Liam snatched the letter from his sister’s hands, smoothing it flat and tucking it in his pocket.

“I should kick you out to open my gift in peace.”

“You won’t, though.”

Liam stuck his tongue out, but he didn’t kick her out. He tore the paper open to reveal a broomstick kit. He ran his fingers over the writing detailing the contents as Erin let out a low whistle.

“This is the guy you think hates you? That is a pretty gift for a ‘maybe friend,’ Liam.”

“Oh shut it, he’s filthy rich, he doesn’t even realize this was way too much is all.”

“Whatever you say.” Erin raised her eyebrows. “Let’s go back down, Mam will start hollering if we’re not back soon.”

“Yeah alright.” Liam tucked the kit under his bed and followed his sister downstairs.

The sun set and everyone gathered to light the candle for Mary and Joseph in the window, then they sat down to dinner. Grandma Poindexter lead the prayer while everyone stood around the hodgepodge of tables made to fit in their sitting room, hands joined.

After a long dinner, everyone changed into their church clothes and they all piled into cars to go into town for midnight Mass. Mass was long as always and Liam kept himself busy keeping Niamh occupied in the pew. The rights of Mass hadn’t felt quite the same to him since learning he was a wizard. His mam would kill him if he said anything though, so he continued to go to Mass when he was home and kept quiet.

By the time Mass was done, Niamh was nearly asleep against Liam. He gently roused her, before deciding to just carry her back to the car.

“You’re getting a bit big for this, you know,” he murmured to his youngest sister as she wrapped her long legs around his waist like a cuddly octopus.

“You’ll just have to keep growing then,” she murmured back sleepily, nuzzling into his shoulder.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

When they got back to the house, his mam quietly placed the baby Jesus in the manger of their nativity under the tree and shooed all of the children off to bed.

Liam hung back.

“Do you need any help, Mam?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liam. I’m just going to bed to wait for Santa like the rest of you.” She winked at him, though, and he followed her to his parent’s bedroom. She pulled out a stack of gifts and a bag of goodies for the stockings and together they left Santa’s tidings for the family to wake up to in a few short hours.

~

All through Christmas Day and St Stephen’s Day, Liam thought back to the gift from Derek. He didn’t dare try it out while the house was still full of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, but he couldn’t stop himself from musing over what it meant.

Had Derek gotten it for him before or after he’d given him the book? Had he planned to get him a gift either way? Did he really spend as much money as it seemed on Liam?

It simply didn’t add up.

Finally, after three days of a full house, it was quiet. Well, as quiet as a house with five children in it ever was, anyway.

He pulled the box out from under his bed and opened it carefully. The instructions showed how to activate the various spells and use the myriad of tools, but there seemed to be no actual magic required to use anything in the kit. Had Derek done that on purpose?

He hadn’t brought his broomstick home, of course, he kept it at school, but he packed away the kit in his school bag to use when he got back. In the meantime, he should write Derek a thank you letter. Hopefully, he could find an owl who would carry it for him.

_Dear Derek,_

_Thank you so much for the broomstick kit. I wish I had brought my broom home so I could try it out. I’m glad you liked the book. Hope you’re having a good holiday. See you soon._

_Liam_

It wasn’t his most elegant but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. With a sigh, he leaned out his window with the letter. After a few minutes, an owl came swooping down, landing on the window sill.

“You know the Nurse Manor? This is for their son.”

The owl leaned forward and took the note in his beak with a click before taking off into the night again. Liam watched it fly away until it disappeared into the night sky, then he closed the window and went to bed. He could worry about Derek Nurse tomorrow.

~

**Derek**

When Derek got back on the Hogwarts Express in early January, with gifts and letters exchanged between them, he was pretty sure he and Liam were friends. When he met up with him and Chris on the platform he greeted them both with big hugs and smiles. He couldn’t remember Liam ever hugging him before.

Derek was trying not to think about it too much. It was chill.

The holidays seemed to have left Liam in a good mood in general. He joked and smiled a lot more than Derek was used to and he smiled back and wondered. He didn’t ask, though, afraid to burst the bubble of good mood they had built.

By the time they found Caitlin holding down a compartment for them and tumbled in, Derek’s face hurt from grinning so hard.

“You’re happy,” Caitlin remarked when she saw Liam’s laughing face.

“I just had a good holiday,” he shrugged as his laugh faded.

“Yeah? That’s good to hear. How’re your parents and siblings?”

“All good. They’re always glad to have me home,” he grinned again. Derek matched his grin subconsciously.

The four teammates easily passed the hours on the train, trading snacks and stories as they chugged north.

After a while, the conversation having gotten quieter, Derek looked over and noticed Liam had fallen asleep against the window. He smiled softly and shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the other boy. He caught Caitlin and Chris exchanging a look between them and felt his cheeks heat, thankful that his dark skin didn’t show blushes easily.

He shrugged. “Don’t want him to wake up cold.”

When they started to climb up into the mountains, Derek reached over and gently shook Liam awake. Liam blinked at him sleepily.

“We’re almost there. We should change.”

Liam nodded and shifted, finally noticing Derek’s jacket. His face flushed darkly as he tossed it onto the seat between them.

Caitlin slipped out of the compartment so the boys could change. Derek carefully slipped the letter he got from Liam from his jeans pocket into his robes pocket, his back turned to the other boys so they didn’t see him move it.

As they waited in the corridor for Caitlin to change into her robes, he fingered the edges of the letter in his pocket. He knew the contents by heart but couldn’t bear to throw it away for some reason. It was a short note, thanking him for the gift and telling him he was glad he liked the book. _See you soon. Liam._

Simple. Short. But Derek couldn’t let go of it.

That night, their stomachs full of the back to school feast and his mind swimming with images of Liam smiling at him over the table in the Great Hall, Derek fell asleep with a smile.

~

A week into classes, Liam showed up to breakfast with a library book.

“You have a free afternoon, yeah?”

Derek nodded, trying to read the title of the book in Liam’s hands.

“Read chapter 5. I’m pretty sure he’s being a pureblood supremacist but I can’t tell with all the vague language. Thought it’d make more sense to you.”

“Oh, chill,” Derek said, taking the book with a small smile. The cover declared it “A History of Magical Achievements in the 20th Century” by a wizard named Phineas Goyle.

“Discuss at dinner?”

“Sounds good, man,” Derek smiled up at Liam, who nodded quickly and then reached out, squeezing Derek’s shoulder briefly, before leaving the Great Hall.

The book burned a hole in his bag all through his morning classes and after lunch, he raced back to the Hufflepuff common room to read. He flopped onto the comfiest couch, right in front of the fire, and cracked open the volume.

_Chapter 5: Genetic Predisposition for Magical Disciplines_

Derek read through it, getting progressively more frustrated that this book had made its way into the Hogwarts school library. The chapter began by citing examples of families with lines of witches and wizards especially proficient in certain disciplines. He noted a couple of muggleborn or half-blood wizards who were “surprisingly adept” at their respective fields of study, noting that they were clearly the exception. Derek bristled at the language but kept reading.

A couple of pages later, he gave credit for a study to only the pureblood witch, when Derek knew a muggleborn wizard had also led the research; it had been big news when it came out. The page after that he even claimed the lack of muggleborn wizards in certain fields was due to their parents not passing on the genetic disposition for the field necessary to reach higher levels of study.

Derek snapped the book shut and shoved it in his bag. He decided an hour of flying would do him good and grabbed his broom from the dormitory.

He walked out the front doors of the castle and immediately mounted. He took off, flying down to the Quidditch pitch and looping in and out of the keeper's poles until the tightness in his chest released a little.

After a while, his fingers started getting cold in his fingerless gloves -- he hadn’t bothered digging out his Quidditch gloves -- and he reluctantly landed. He stowed his broomstick and figured he’d might as well head to dinner.

Liam was already there.

“This is all completely unfounded. Most are anecdotal at best and lies at worst,” he announced as he sat down in the Great Hall.

“That’s what I thought! There’s hardly anything cited and what is cited doesn’t seem like the whole story. He’s manipulating data!”

“If you can even call what he used ‘data,’” Derek grumbled.

“I can’t believe that shite was in our library!” Liam shouted. “We should complain to Madame Pince. I’ll show him ‘surprisingly adept’ when my foot is up his arse!”

That was how the next afternoon found them in the library, penning a letter to the publisher of the book, a stack of resources at their elbow courtesy of the librarian. They worked together, Liam taking notes out of the resources and reading snippets aloud while Derek penned the letter. When they had taken the chapter apart point by point, they showed it to Madame Pince and she nodded approvingly as she read it.

“Very well done, boys. I’m going to include my own note that the book has been removed from the collection and I’ll send it along.”

Liam grinned at him and Derek could feel his stomach turn over.

~

**Liam**

The last week of January was colder than a witch’s teat, but Lardo had them outside practising every day in preparation for their game against Gryffindor the next week. She seemed to be driving them extra hard after their loss to Ravenclaw. Or maybe it was just the winter wind seeping into Liam’s very bones.

The frogs were huddled under blankets in front of the fire, trying desperately to warm themselves after that evening’s practice pressed shoulder to shoulder, when Adam stumbled into the common room.

“You okay, bro?” Derek called out to their teammate. Adam didn’t seem to register the words. He wandered over to a table and sank heavily into a chair. He stared blankly at the table, unmoving for a full minute, and Liam looked to Chris and then Derek.

“Should we do something?”

“Probably,” Chris agreed.

Derek nodded and stood, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders and crossing the room. Liam stood and followed him.

“Hey Birkholtz,” he greeted as he approached. “You alright, man?”

Adam startled, meeting Derek’s inquiring gaze and shaking his head.

“I’ve been thinking,” Adam said. “About Gryffindor.”

“The game?” Liam asked. “I think we’ve got a really good shot.”

Derek shot him a look that said _be quiet and be quiet now._ Liam shut up.

Adam shook his head again, studying the wood grain of the table.

“Not about the game. Well, kind of? I don’t know. About the team. About Justin.”

“Oh,” Derek said like he suddenly understood.

Liam still didn’t.

“What about Justin?” Derek prompted when Adam didn’t continue.

“We’ve been friends for years, you know? But I can’t stop thinking about him. And I think…” he trailed off, his eyes flicking up to Liam for a moment.

Liam caught up to his thinking finally and felt his cheeks burn scarlet.

“You can tell us anything, man, we’ve got your back,” Derek insisted, shooting another meaningful glance at Liam. Liam just stared back. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he wasn’t about to say anything.

“I think I like him,” Adam finally whispered. “I think I have for a while.”

“That’s chill,” Derek said. “Might be weird to ask him out right before the Hufflepuff Gryffindor game though,” he winked and Adam chuckled quietly.

“I don’t think I’m going to.”

“Yeah, better to wait.”

“No, I mean,” Adam took a deep breath. “I mean I don’t think I’ll ever ask him out.”

“What? Why not?” Derek asked.

“Bro. He’s so far out of my league.”

“Not true,” Derek argued. “You’re Adam Birkholtz! You’re smart and funny and kind. He’d be lucky to have you.”

Adam shook his head sadly. “I dunno.”

“You don’t have to decide right now. Think about it. But don’t let him beat us on Saturday just because you’re crushing, yeah?” Derek teased.

Liam looked between the boys as they exchanged smiles. They seemed to have forgotten he was there. Liam seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.

He turned quickly and walked back to his dormitory. He felt his chest constricting with shallow breaths, his lungs refusing to take in all the oxygen they needed. His heart was pounding in his ears.

Adam was gay. And Derek had treated it like it was no big deal. Was it not a big deal for wizards? What would they say if he…?

Another few shallow breaths passed, his thoughts spiralling out of control before the dorm door flew open and Derek scanned the room, finding Liam curled into himself on the floor next to his bed.

“Liam? Can you hear me?”

Liam looked up and met Derek’s worried green eyes.

“Can I touch you?”

Liam squeezed his eyes shut but nodded. His breath was bursting out of him in ragged gasps. Derek took his hand from its hard grip on his shin and pulled it to his own chest.

“Feel my breath, okay? Let’s breathe together.”

Liam couldn’t open his eyes but he tried to pull his focus in to the rise and fall of Derek’s chest. He was counting softly in sets of seven. After several sets, Liam felt his lungs finally fill all the way, the lightheadedness fading. He opened his eyes.

Derek hadn’t moved. His eyebrows were creased in worry and Liam could feel the tension in his body, even though he was clearly trying to keep his breathing even.

“Hi,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Hey,” Derek smiled, the set of his shoulders relaxing. “You back with me?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Really, Poindexter.”

~

They win against Gryffindor.

From the beginning of the match, the team chemistry was off the charts. Liam and Derek’s teamwork was on point, the Chaser team was completely in sync, and all of their plays executed.

They started off with a standard grab and fly, Adam snagging the Quaffle from the toss and shooting through the opposing team. Derek got his bat on a Bludger and directed it at the Chaser closest to catching Adam, while Liam caught sight of the other and chased it down, getting his own bat on it just as the Quaffle shot past the Gryffindor Keeper. Derek sent him a grin before taking off after the Bludger to redirect it towards the Gryffindor now in control of the Quaffle.

They darted around the field, redirecting the bludgers and the Chasers like a well-oiled machine, and Liam could feel the adrenaline pumping in his veins.

Eric beat the Gryffindor Seeker to the snitch when they were up 120-70. It was a brilliant game.

Liam can definitely see what Adam is freaking out about with Justin Oluransi though. The boy is all kinds of gorgeous. His dark skin highlights his high cheekbones under his sharp eyes. His shoulders are broad and Liam can tell he’s crazy muscular under the Quidditch sweater and robes.

When he saw them hug it out after the match and break into a “best friends handshake” that lasts several minutes, he smiled, thinking that Adam definitely had a shot. He wasn’t even a little surprised when he hears that Adam had invited him to their post-game party, along with the rest of the Gryffindor team and any other students who want to join. Hufflepuff parties were always diverse in school houses. The more the merrier, right?

Liam enjoyed a couple of butterbeers with Derek and Chris before spotting Eric and wandering off to intercept him.

“Hey, Eric?”

“Liam!” he shouted, flinging himself at his teammate. “How the bloody hell are ya?”

“Not as good as you, I think. Can I talk to you a minute?”

“Course! What’s on your mind?”

Liam beckoned Eric to follow and soon they were in the third year dorm.

“I wanted to ask you about a magical culture thing.”

Eric had calmed down a bit when Liam led them away from the party and was now nodding earnestly.

“Someone kinda came out to me, and I was wondering…”

“What it’s like in the wizarding world?”

“Well, yeah. Because at home, well, not everyone is great about it, you know? My siblings and cousins would probably be cool with…” he paused, thinking about how he wanted to talk about this. “...knowing a gay person,” he finished lamely. “But I’m not sure about some of my aunts and uncles and I know my grandma…”

Eric was nodding again.

“I know exactly what you mean,” he said when Liam didn’t finish his sentence. “My family is a bit like that. And some of the lads I went to school with. But here? No one seems to care.”

“At all?”

“Nope. I’m not even sure if most people ever even come out. They just date whoever. It’s kind of lovely.”

“Wow.”

They were quiet for a long moment before Liam continued.

“I guess I wondered because, with all the old things and the traditional magical laws and all that, I wasn’t sure if sexuality was part of that.”

Eric shook his head. “I could see that, but remember that most wizards aren’t religious. And most homophobes base their homophobia in religion.”

Liam chewed his lip as he processed. “Makes sense, I suppose.”

“Was it Adam? He’s got such a crush on that Oluransi boy you could see it from space.”

Liam blushed. “I didn’t tell you, okay? I don’t think he’s gonna do anything about it.”

“Why not? Those two are such a cute couple.”

Liam shrugged. “Honestly I wasn’t paying that much attention to the rest of it. Too busy having a crisis.”

Eric laughed.

“Come on, let’s head back to the party. Maybe those Ravenclaw boys will stop by,” he winked, leading the way back to the common room.

“What is up with you and Lardo and the Ravenclaw team anyways?”

“It’s a secret,” Eric whispered, holding a finger up to his lips.

The party had gotten wilder in their absence, music blaring from somewhere and twice as many people as had been there before.

“Dance with me, Liam!”

And with that, Eric grabbed his wrist and dragged him onto the makeshift dance floor. They flailed around, bouncing to the beat of the music. Soon they were joined by Chris and Derek and the four of them formed a loose circle, shouting the lyrics to the songs at each other and moved clumsily to the beat.

Winning had never felt so good.

~

**Derek**

“So what are we gonna do in Hogsmeade?” Derek asked his best friends at breakfast.

Liam shrugged and didn’t look up from his reading.

Chris blushed pink.

“Oh, um, actually I have a date,” he stuttered. “I’m really sorry, Derek! I know it’s your birthday but it’s also Valentine’s Day and Caitlin asked and I really like her and -”

“Bro, it’s chill,” he gave Chris a smile. “You and Cait, huh?”

Chris blushed darker. Liam finally looked up.

“I’ll still go to Hogsmeade with you, Nurse,” he said. “We can get Eric, too. We’ll do birthday things. Valentine’s Day is overrated. No offence, Chris,” he directed at their blushing friend.

“None taken,” he mumbled.

“Thanks, Dexter. Though I think Eric and Lards are going on an anti-Valentine’s Day not-a-date, whatever the hell that is.”

“Wow,” Liam deadpanned. Derek grinned back at him. “So, what do you wanna do?”

“Whatever,” Derek shrugged. “Joke shop for sure. Butterbeer? It’s chill.”

“Chill,” Liam echoed with a smirk.

~

Derek had trouble concentrating in classes that morning. He kept thinking about Liam’s smile over breakfast as they made plans for his birthday trip to Hogsmeade. It was actually the day before his birthday, but he wasn’t complaining. He had a whole day to hang out with Liam.

Ever since the holiday break, they’d been getting along so well, and once Liam came back from his holiday at home he had even physically begun to relax around Derek and Chris. He’d never been as physically affectionate as the others on the team but Derek hadn’t thought much of it until he started to relax around them.

He now found himself having to stop thinking about the warm spots where Liam had touched him. A clap on the shoulder, an arm pressed to his in front of the fire, a joking punch to the bicep. They were very bro touches but they lit Derek up like a fire.

He couldn’t think about it. Liam was his best friend. That was all. He was glad he was opening up and letting himself show affection for his friends. He did it with Chris, too, and Eric. But Derek still felt it was something special. That they had gone from reluctant housemates to best friends, and the affection Liam let himself show for Derek warmed him to his core.

His notes took on a distinctly poetic nature in the last few minutes of History of Magic, waxing about the warmth of a touch, before he caught himself. He was not going there. They were friends and he was happy with it.

~

That Sunday, the frogs woke early and dressed, teasing Chris as he lamented not bringing his favourite orange sweater to Hogwarts this year.

“It’s probably for the best, Chris,” Liam said. “She can’t kiss you if she can’t look directly at you.”

“It’s a good sweater!”

“It’s blinding.”

Chris pouted but pulled on a different sweater. Liam and Derek exchanged a smile.

Derek pulled on a soft sweater and a pair of corduroys before lacing his boots. He looked up to find Liam watching him.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Starving,” he grinned back.

They made their way up to the Great Hall for breakfast, shoulders brushing. Derek couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

After they ate, teasing Chris and Cait the whole time, they got in line for Hogsmeade. Derek bounced on his toes with excitement. He had been looking forward to his birthday Hogsmeade trip since the schedule had been announced in September. He dug his hands into his pockets to keep them warm as they slowly got checked off and released down to the village.

He got checked off first and waited while Liam did, too. Then Liam stepped to his side and laced his arm through Derek’s and he forgot how to breathe.

Liam seemed to have no such issues, slipping his own hand into his jacket pocket and tugging Derek by his elbow down the path. He stumbled after him and tried to regain his chill.

“So,” Liam began, like they weren’t linked arm in arm and heading into Hogsmeade on Valentine’s Day. “I think we should start with Three Broomsticks, the walk down there will be cold. And everyone will be at Madam Puddifoots instead. Then Zonkos?”

“Chill,” Derek choked out, sneaking a glance over at Liam, who seemed completely calm.

Liam smiled back at him and they walked on in silence. When they got there, Liam deposited him in a chair and went up to the bar for their butterbeer. Derek stared after him for a moment before coming to his senses and following him, digging in his pocket for coins.

When he got there, the bartender was already handing Liam the drinks.

“What do I owe you?” He asked Liam.

“Nothing. It’s your birthday.”

“Oooh-kay,” Derek replied, dragging out the first syllable.

Liam took a sip of his butterbeer. “I got you a gift, too. But I left it up at the castle.”

“That’s chill.”

Liam rolled his eyes but the small smile stayed on his lips.

Derek thought back. When was Liam’s birthday? He’d had to ask Chris. He was pretty sure it was in the fall. He definitely hadn’t gotten him anything. That would have to be remedied.

“Did you do the potions essay yet?” Liam broke into his thoughts suddenly.

“Oh, um, no, I haven’t.” Derek looked up and stared. Liam had some butterbeer froth on his upper lip. “You’ve, um, got…” he gestured at his own lip, still staring at Liam’s.

Liam blushed and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

“Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” Liam looked at him, then away. “Having your birthday on Valentine’s Day must be awkward, huh? Everyone always wants to do something with a partner.”

“I dunno,” Derek smiled. “This isn’t so bad.”

Liam blushed and looked down at his butterbeer.

They fell into silence.

Well, not actual silence, they were still in a bustling pub, but neither of them was talking.

It was awkward.

“So.”

“So?” Liam echoed.

“Why is so this weird?” Derek moaned, dropping his head to the table.

Liam laughed and the spell was broken.

They chatted about Quidditch and classes and Chris and Cait finally getting together after over a year of awkward flirting.

Then Liam brought up his family and Derek was enraptured.

“I’ve mentioned my sister, yeah?”

“I thought you had a lot of sisters.”

“Well, yeah,” Liam rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve got an older brother and three little sisters. But I meant Erin. We’re really close, you know?”

“I don’t have any siblings,” Derek shrugged.

“Well, we’re really close in age, she’s only a year behind me in school, and we were always close growing up.”

“Why not your brother?”

“He’s three years older and I guess he’s always felt more like a third parent than a brother to me. He was the one in charge when mam and dad went out, the one who scolded us when we goofed off. We were never tight. I don’t think he wanted us to be.”

“That sucks, man, I’m sorry.”

Liam shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Derek reached across the table and briefly squeezed his hand before pulling back to his side.

“It really doesn’t bug me because I still have Erin. Niamh and Maeve, they’re the youngest two, they have each other but now that I’m up here Erin is feeling kinda lonely.”

“That’s gotta be hard, yeah.”

“We had hoped she would get a letter too, my first year away at Hogwarts, but it never came. And then she went off to secondary school alone and some of the other kids tease her sometimes. Because I went off to this fancy school and she didn’t, mostly. But also because even in County Kerry it’s not easy being the ginger with too many freckles and giant ears.”

“And here I thought all the Irish looked like a Weasley.”

“Fuck off, Derek,” Liam shot back, but he smiled briefly into his butterbeer.

“She wrote me recently that Margery O’Leary finally got caught teasing her and got sent to the headmaster’s office.” Liam took a deep breath. “And I’m glad, but I also know it’ll probably just make her more sneaky about it. I wish I was home to look out for her, you know?”

“I see that. You’re a good brother, Liam.”

“Don’t feel like it sometimes.”

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re insulting,” Derek teased.

Liam blushed again.

“You’re my best friend, too, you know,” he said. “Chris too, but you are.”

Derek grinned at him.

After the Three Broomsticks, they wandered around Hogsmeade, dropping into the joke shop, the candy shop, and the bookshop. Liam linked their elbows again as they walked and Derek smiled to himself.

Whenever they saw a couple getting a little too lovey-dovey Liam would swing him around by his elbow and change direction. Each swing got more forceful until Derek was practically flying through the air, both boys laughing uproariously.

When they finally got back to the castle they were cold and slightly wet from a late afternoon snowfall and Derek’s cheeks hurt from smiling.

When they had changed out of their outer clothes, Liam approached him with a gift.

“You really didn’t have to get me anything, Liam.”

Liam shrugged. “Just open it.”

Derek peeled back the paper to reveal another book, this one about the muggle sport of football.

“You seemed really interested in football,” he shrugged again.

Derek laughed a bit. He had asked Liam a few weeks back what sports he played at home and his eyes had lit up so much as he talked about football that Derek had encouraged him into talking about it for nearly an hour. He supposed that was the same as interest.

“It’s wonderful, thank you,” he said, setting the book down on his bed and wrapping his arms around Liam in a tight hug. “And thank you for today,” he said more quietly, still wrapped around him. “It meant a lot.”

“I’ve got your back, bro,” Liam said into his shoulder.

Finally, they stepped apart, Liam’s cheeks blazing red and Derek’s ears warm.

“Dinner?”

“Yes,” Derek grinned back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all of you reading along as I post! it means the world to me to see all your comments! Chapter 4 has already been beta'd and sitting on it is killing me but it's nice to have a buffer so y'all have to wait for next week.


	4. Chapter 4

** Liam **

At dinner that night, they ran into Adam and Justin from the Ravenclaw team, fresh off a bro-date. 

Derek seemed to think that was hilarious but Liam found it sweet and jumped to their defence.

“Don’t laugh, Nurse, that’s basically what we just did.”

“What? No, we didn’t, it was just a birthday Hogsmeade day.”

Liam shrugged and started in on his potatoes. “Call it what you want, sounds pretty similar.”

“Best friend dates are the best dates,” Adam declared, holding his fist out. Justin bumped it without looking up. “Nice.” 

The two boys talked like they’ve known each other forever, like they’ve been best friends for forever. They talk like they complete each other. It’s sweet. 

Liam raised an eyebrow at Adam when Justin wasn’t looking and grinned at the blush that crept up Adam’s face. 

“I give them two months before they’re making out in empty classrooms,” he murmured under his breath to Derek beside him.

Derek choked on his pumpkin juice. 

~

All teasing aside, Liam really did enjoy taking Derek to Hogsmeade for his birthday. It seemed more than a bro-date, but less than a date-date, though, and Liam wasn’t sure how to categorize it. So, of course, he kept thinking about it. 

All week he thought about it.

They had walked around arm in arm, but that had just been practical, right? Derek was a walking disaster so it was best to keep an arm on him so he didn’t fall. Purely practical. 

And the awkwardness when Liam had bought their drinks? That was just because normally Liam made such a big deal out of money. Nothing more. 

But what did Derek think? Was it weird for him to be out with just Liam? They were best friends, it shouldn’t have been, right? 

Liam had maybe enjoyed it a little too much, spending all day touching Derek. He wanted to do it again. But he also wanted to run in the opposite direction all the way home to his sister. 

He had too many questions. 

So he wrote Erin like he always did when his brain wouldn’t shut up.

_ Hi Er, _

_ I might have kind of gone on a date with Derek. Not really. He didn’t think it was one, at least I don’t think so. But I told you his birthday is Valentine’s Day? Everyone else had plans so it was just him and me for the Hogsmeade trip. And we just hung out like normal for the most part, but I keep thinking about how much I like making him laugh and how much fun we had together and I think maybe it was kind of a date.  _

_ I never thought of myself as gay but I also haven’t really had a crush on any of the girls here and I think that’s what this is. I think I’m crushing on Derek. So, I guess I’m coming out to you. I haven’t told anyone else but I think I’m gay.  _

_ I don’t know what to do about it, really. It’s not like I would actually date Derek, we’re teammates and roommates and just… no. But I think I like boys. I don’t know what to do about it though. Even though the magical world doesn’t seem to care much about sexuality. Did I tell you Adam kinda came out to me? He just told me he liked a boy. He didn’t really come out. And no one treated it as anything. Eric thinks it’s because there’s so little religion in the wizarding world but I’m not sure.  _

_ Sorry this had to come in a letter, I couldn’t sit on it until summer. _

_ Hope everything is alright at home.  _

_ Love you, _

_ Liam _

He dried the ink and folded it up, heading to the owlery. 

As he walked, head in the clouds, he stumbled over Chris and Caitlin. Not quite literally but it may as well have been. 

“Oh, hi Liam,” Chris squeaked. “What’re you up to?”

Liam held up his letter, eyebrows raised. Cait snickered, smoothing down her sweater. 

“Well, I’ll just leave you two to it, shall I?” 

Chris blushed and Caitlin laughed louder. “See ya, Liam,” she called. 

Liam heard a yelp as Chris was pulled down the hallway after her. He was happy for them. Even if he was a bit confused about himself. 

~

Erin’s return letter finally got back to him two weeks later. He had largely pushed his thoughts of Derek and boys in general to the back of his mind, focusing on his friends and his schoolwork and of course Quidditch. 

Their last match was against Slytherin near the end of March, and Lardo was determined to make their captain Chad pay for an insult he paid her the year before. Liam wasn’t sure what it was but also didn’t think he needed an added incentive to beat Slytherin. So he just trained and studied and hung out with Chris, Derek, Caitlin, and Eric. 

The letter fell onto his eggs and he quickly scooped it out, tucking it into his robes to read later.

“Erin?” Derek asked. 

Liam nodded. “It’s heavy though, she’s got a lot to say. I’ll read it later.”

It wasn’t, but he didn’t want to read it and blush in front of his friends. And Derek.

“Chill,” said Derek. Liam rolled his eyes right on cue. It was comfortable.

He didn’t have a chance to actually read the letter until that night after Quidditch practice. 

_ Hey Li, _

_ Sorry it took me so long to write back, I know you worry. I wanted to say it just right, though.  _

_ First, thanks for telling me. You know I love you and nothing will ever change that, but I’m stating the obvious anyway. The same goes for Mam and Dad and the girls and Paddy too. Of course, I won’t say anything to them unless you want me to. But I know they agree with me. _

_ Second, what you described did kind of sound like a date, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a date until you say it is. Or start making out or something, but since you didn’t do that I think you’re safe. As for feelings, I don’t think it’d be such a bad thing. You two had a rough start but it sounds like you get along really well now. Do you know if he’s into boys? Might be worth it to ask.  _

_ Even if it’s not Derek, you should try asking someone out. Even Maeve has a boyfriend! Get on it! _

_ Love, _

_ Er _

Maeve had a boyfriend? That was news to him. Wasn’t 10 a bit young to date? 

He was missing so much... 

Erin didn’t know what she was talking about though; he couldn’t date Derek. It was just his first crush. You didn’t do anything about those even when they weren’t your roommate and teammate.

~

When the match rolled around, the weather had warmed a bit and Liam was feeling good. They needed to win by at least 200 points to have a shot at the Quidditch Cup this year which was unlikely but Liam thought that beating Slytherin, either way, would be amazing. 

“Alright,” Lardo shouted and the dressing room fell silent. “It’s the last match of the year, but it’s not our last match. We’ll all be back next year and better than ever. I want you all to know that I am so proud of the work we’ve done this year, no matter how today goes. We’re a young team and we’ve held our own. Even if we don’t beat Chad R today, we’ll still be an amazing team. Alright? Now let’s go kick some Chad ass.”

“Hell yeah!” Adam shouted and the rest of the team followed suit, whooping and hollering as they grabbed their brooms and bats and took the field. 

They took their positions, Eric balanced high above them, as the Snitch and Bludgers were released and the Quaffle was thrown. Lardo snagged it the Quaffle in the toss. Liam shot a Bludger at the Slytherin who tried to knock her off her broom as she shot for the goal posts. This was going to be a fast game. 

They traded shots on the goals fairly evenly, but Chris was a better Keeper than the Slytherin Keeper so they kept a lead the whole match. Liam and Derek darted around the pitch, shouting out directions to each other as they blocked shot after shot. The Hufflepuff Chasers had scored five times to Slytherin’s three when Eric suddenly dropped into a dive, shooting towards the ground, the Slytherin Seeker on his heels. At the last minute, he lost the Snitch and the crowd groaned. 

Liam turned back around, trying to locate the other Bludger when it slammed into his side. He found himself suddenly unseated, hanging upside down with his legs and one hand wrapped around his broom. He righted himself quickly and was awarded a foul from Mr Mashkov for the illegal hit. 

He took the penalty shot but missed. He was no good with the Quaffle. When they were setting up to resume play, Derek was suddenly in his space.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m fine, Derek. Play the game.  _ Don’t  _ do anything stupid.”

Derek grumbled but went to his place. 

“Overprotective git,” Liam mumbled, adjusting his grip on his bat. Derek thankfully didn’t make a foul of his own in retaliation, and the game moved on. 

Slytherin shot ahead a couple of goals, but then Eric was shooting across the pitch after the Snitch and ending the game 210-80. It was nowhere near enough to win the Cup but it was always a great day to beat Slytherin. 

~

** Derek **

They didn’t quite win the Quidditch Cup, but they still won the game. And even if they had lost they would probably party. Hufflepuffs know that everything is worth celebrating.

Derek walked up to the castle with Liam, bumping shoulders occasionally. Chris and Cait were walking behind them, hand in hand and making eyes at each other. Liam snuck a glance back at them, then grinned at Derek. 

“They’re cute,” he said. 

Derek agreed, even if he was a little envious. 

He always seemed to be jealous lately, though he couldn’t place why. He’d never been particularly interested in dating, always thinking of it as a “someday”, an issue for Future Derek to worry about. But ever since Cait and Chris had gotten together, he’d been thinking about it. 

It wasn’t like they were making him feel left out or anything. They hung out with Liam and Derek just like they always had, as teammates, and the little hello and goodbye kisses they gave each other were unobtrusive and natural. He wasn’t being third wheeled. It just felt a lot like Cait-and-Chris and Liam-and-Derek sometimes. And that wasn’t right for some reason. 

He and Liam weren’t dating. They didn’t like each other like that. They were just best friends. So why did it suddenly feel weird? 

So, Derek was a bit jealous. But he was also really glad he had Liam. Somehow those two things coexisted. They chirped Chris and Cait good-naturedly, they all still had frog cuddle piles and sometimes Caitlin joined. It was just a new normal to get used to.

The party was amazing, as always. Adam seemed to know most of the school and they descended on the Hufflepuff common room after dinner. Even a couple of Slytherins showed up, despite their team losing. A party was a party and the Hufflepuffs threw a good one. 

Shortly after the Ravenclaw Quidditch team arrived, Derek lost track of Lardo.

“Have you seen Lards?” he asked Liam.

“She’s off with Knight, probably making out,” Liam shrugged.

“No way, you saw them?”

“I saw him arrive, now I suddenly can’t find either of them. Seems logical, the way they keep making eyes at each other.”

Derek grinned. “Good for Lards.”

“Gonna go get another butterbeer, you want one?” Liam asked holding up his empty bottle.

“Sure,” Derek agreed, chugging the last of his and handing him his empty bottle. When he met his gaze again, Liam’s eyes were very wide. He swallowed. 

“Cool, be right back,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Chill.” 

What was up with Liam? Whatever. He scanned the crowd, catching Eric’s eye and flagging him down as he wove through the crowd. 

“Yo, did you see Lardo sneak off with Knight from Ravenclaw? Liam swears they’re off making out somewhere.”

“What?” Eric squeaked. “No idea what you’re talking about, I didn’t even see Knight, nope, they’re definitely not doing anything like that.”

“Chill, Eric. I think it’s nice, Lardo deserves a good make out after the win today. Besides,” he nudged Eric with his elbow. “If she can get her Ravenclaw boy, maybe you can get yours.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on. I’ve seen you checking out Jack Zimmerman.”

“Nurse shut  _ up _ ,” Eric hissed, grabbing his elbow and dragging him away from the crowds. “He’s  _ here _ , don’t say shit like that!”

“But you do like, him, right?” Derek asked, quieter this time. 

“I mean… It doesn’t matter,” Eric blushed. 

“You know it’s chill, right? That you like him? That you like boys?” Derek asked gently.

“Of course I do,” Eric snapped. “But it still doesn’t matter, alright? He doesn’t. And even if he did, he doesn’t see me like that.”

“Whatever you say, Bittle. I think you have a shot, though. For what it’s worth.”

Eric huffed. 

“Come on, let’s go enjoy the party. Liam is around somewhere with a butterbeer with my name on it.”

“What’s going on with you two anyway?”

“Me and Liam? Nothing.”

Eric raised his eyebrows. “If you say so.”

Derek didn’t have a response to that, but thankfully he spotted Liam’s bright red hair the next moment and waved him over. 

“Hey,” Liam greeted, handing Derek one of the butterbeers he was holding. 

“Wanna dance?”

“Sure,” Liam shrugged and the two of them made for the dance floor. “You coming, Eric?”

Eric shook his head and motioned vaguely in another direction. Derek waved him off and turned back to Liam.

They began to move to the music gently, just bobbing in place, nursing their butterbeers and smiling at each other. Derek lost track of time there, wrapped up in his best friend’s presence. Who needed a girlfriend, really? He was happy with this. 

A while later, minutes, hours, who could tell, they headed to bed, only to find Chris and Caitlin making out in their shared room. They hooted at the couple, and all four of them had a good laugh before Chris left to walk Cait back to the girls dormitory stairs. Even if he couldn’t walk her all the way to her room for fear of being slid back down to the common room on his arse, Chris was a gentleman like that.

Derek flopped back in his bed, trying to push down the sudden burst of irrational jealousy that flared up in him. He was happy with this. He was happy with this. He  _ was _ . 

~

The end of the school year seemed to both fly by and crawl at a snail’s pace. Derek was studying every waking hour, often with Liam at his side, and there weren’t enough hours in the day to get through it all. At the same time, he was dreading the moment he had to say goodbye to Liam for the summer, and every moment he had with him slowed to a honey-dripped pace. 

Every smile he got from Liam froze him for a moment. A casual touch set him on fire. The hug after they finished their exams was an out of body experience. 

He just couldn’t stop thinking about him and couldn’t say why. They were best friends and it was amazing and he didn’t want to be parted from him. He could say the same of Chris.

Couldn’t he?

By the time they were on the Hogwarts Express heading for London, he could feel understanding on the tip of his tongue but still hadn’t figured it out. 

He spent the trip doing silly charms with Liam, Chris, and Cait and trying not to think about how much he would miss Liam. And Chris and Cait. Of course.

On the platform, Chris pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’ll write, won’t you? And maybe you can come to visit?”

“Of course, Chow. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, Nurse,” Chris squeezed him tightly before stepping back slightly, arms resting on Derek’s biceps. “Seriously. Write to me. And come to visit any time.”

“You too, Chris.”

He got another crushing hug from Chris before he was released and turned to Caitlin. 

“You better write to me, too, Nurse,” she demanded as she hugged him. “I wanna hear all about your adventures stirring up trouble in that big manor of yours.”

“You got it, Farmer,” he answered, squeezing her back. 

Finally, he turned to Liam. He opened his arms wide and Liam rolled his eyes but stepped into them, wrapping his own arms around Derek’s back. 

“I’ll miss you, too, Nurse. Even if you are a pain in the ass.”

“I’m your pain in the ass, Poindexter,” Derek said, bending his head down to rest on Liam’s shoulder. 

“Damn right.” 

“I’ll write you. I’ll write so much you’ll be tired of me.”

“You wish.”

Derek stepped back finally, reluctantly dropping his hands from Liam’s arms. 

“See ya, Nurse,” Liam called, shouldering his duffle bag and making his way through the crowd to the Portkey station. 

“See ya, Poindexter!” Derek called back, waving a little. Watching Liam walk away was like getting stabbed in the heart. 

Oh. 

Oh fuck.

_ I’m in love with him _ , he thought.

~

** Liam **

Liam walked away from Derek and towards his waiting Mam with a weight in his stomach. 

This was a good thing. The summer apart would give him the space he needed to get over this stupid crush on his Beater partner. 

It was a good thing. 

Really.

Because this was getting out of hand. He let himself get too close to Derek, let himself touch him whenever he wanted to and chirp him, and he’s gone from “maybe I like boys” to “maybe I’m in love with Derek Nurse” and it was not sustainable. He won’t survive another school year like this. So he was going to get over it. 

He hugged his mam and they got their portkey from the attendant.

It was the most unpleasant portkey he’d ever taken, with his heart in his stomach already, and when they land in their lane back home he promptly vomits in the grass.

“Oh dear,” his mam cooed, rubbing his back. 

“I’m alright, Mam,” he insisted, grabbing the handle of his trunk and beginning to hobble up the lane to their house. 

She followed him with his duffle but continued to tut. 

“Really, Mam, I just ate too much on the train I think. I’m fine.”

“Alright, if you say so.” 

His sisters came streaming out of the house as they approached, a flood of questions coming from Maeve and Niamh as usual, but Erin was quiet as she hugged him.

“You alright, Liam?” She asked.

He nodded, but she furrowed her brow as she led him into the house, reading on his face what he hadn’t said. 

He greeted his dad and Paddy in the kitchen like always and Erin helped him lug his trunk up to his room. 

“What’s going on?” She asked as soon as they set down the trunk. 

Liam swallowed hard and shook his head.

“Is it Derek? Did something happen?”

Liam shook his head again. “Nothing happened. But Er, I think…”

He trailed off and Erin watched him for a long moment before she spoke again.

“What could possibly be so wrong that can’t tell your favourite sister?”

“Nothing’s  _ wrong _ , nothing  _ happened _ , it’s just that… Well, I think I’m in love with him.” He felt his cheeks heat and looked down, studying his trainers. 

“Liam, that’s wonderful!” 

“No, it bloody well is not!” He snapped. He took a deep breath. “Sorry Erin, it’s just… nothing can happen between us. So I have to get over him. And I don’t know how.”

“Why can nothing happen? You told me yourself wizards are really loose about sexuality and stuff like that. And you guys are such good friends now!”

“That’s just it, though. What if I fuck it up? I worked so hard to get where I am, people finally like me and I have all these amazing friends and if they had to pick a side in a break up they’d pick Derek. I’d pick Derek.”

“William James Poindexter you take that back. First of all, I’d pick you and I know a lot of your friends would if for whatever insane reason it did come to that. Second of all, I think you two would be great together and I think if it didn’t work you’d go back to being friends. That’s awfully presumptuous that this would fail and fail so badly your friends would pick sides.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Erin. You’ve never met him.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Oi, we only became friends at Christmas! Don’t come for me like that!”

“Liam, you know I’m saying all of this because I love you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And I don’t want to push you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. But you seem to have written off the possibility of even asking him out because of some misaligned notion that he’s out of your league. Which is not a real thing. And if they were, you’d be Premier League.”

Liam barked out a laugh. 

“You listen to me, Liam. You are a kind, smart, sweet boy and if you want that boy, I say you go get him. At least promise me you’ll think about it?”

Liam nodded.

“Now. I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”

“Alright,” he said, swinging an arm around his sister. “Did you get shorter, Erin?”

“No, you got taller, like the inconsiderate brother you are.”

~

True to his word, he wrote Chris, Caitlin, and Derek often. He’d taken to asking the owls to just wait when they delivered new mail since he didn’t have his own and there wasn’t always one around when he wanted it. He seemed to always have half a letter drafted to each of them anyway, so he would run up to his room to read the letter and reply to anything that needed replying to before sending the owl back to its owner. He wondered if his parents would buy him an owl if he made prefect. 

Probably not. 

Maybe he could tame a wild one. There seemed to be a lot around anyways. That could be a good summer project.

Most of all, he missed flying. After a year of regular practices and becoming friends with everyone on the team, he felt weird every week that passed that he didn’t get on a broomstick. It was already late July and he was glad to be nearly halfway through summer but he really, really missed flying. So he wrote Derek about it. 

The letter he got in response was short, an invitation to come to stay at Nurse Manor for the last two weeks of August and travel back to Hogwarts together. 

Liam grinned for a moment before his face fell. His parents needed him on the farm, it was bad enough that he was gone 10 months out of the year. They couldn’t afford to lose his help for another two weeks. 

He knew he was moping but he couldn’t bring himself to put on a happy face. 

Of course, Erin cornered him.

“Why the long face?”

“Derek invited me to come to visit. But Mam and Dad need me here.”

“Did they say that?”

“Well, no. I didn’t ask.”

Erin raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “You are so dumb sometimes, I swear to God, Liam.” She grabbed his elbow and opened her mouth. “Mam!” 

“What are you doing?” Liam hissed.

“It’s for your own good,” she hissed back.

“What, Erin?” Their mother rounded the corner. 

“Liam has an honest-to-God friend who has invited him to stay at his fancy wizard house and he won’t even ask you if he can go.”

“Erin!”

“Which friend, Liam?”

“Derek Nurse. From the team. He’s the one that sent me the Broomstick Kit for Christmas.”

“That’s so nice, Liam! You should go! When does he want you to come?”

“Oh, um, the last two weeks of August. And then travel back to the train with him.”

“That could work. Where does he live?”

“In northern England. He said his parents could apparate here. It’s like an instant travel kind of magic I’m too young to do it but they can bring me with when they do it. So I wouldn’t have to travel really.”

“And I could meet them and your friend when they come to get you! That would be so nice, Liam. Write him back and say yes!”

“Mam, you need me here,” Liam countered.

“I don’t want to hear it. We can get by just fine without you and you deserve this, Liam. You work so hard up at school.” She took his cheeks in her hands. “I’m so glad you’re making such good friends. I’m so proud of you, son.”

Liam knew his cheeks were flaming red as he let his mother pull his head down to kiss his forehead.

“Thanks, Mam.”

~

The three weeks leading up to the Nurse family arriving on the Poindexter farm were nerve-wracking. He had written with Derek about when to expect them and he was so incredibly nervous. They would arrive just after sundown so as to break their Ramadan fast with the Poindexters before apparating back to the Nurse Manor.

The weeks away from him hadn’t done anything to lessen his growing crush. In fact, it seemed to have made it worse. Because Derek Nurse wrote him constantly. He quoted poetry to him. He  _ wrote  _ him poetry. Okay, it wasn’t  _ to _ Liam exactly but Derek wrote poetry and then sent it to Liam. How was he supposed to stop being in love with a boy like that?

On the agreed upon day, Liam was packed and waiting in the living room. They’d all done their daily chores and cleaned up for dinner. Even in his good clothes, Liam couldn’t help but feel shabby. He knew Derek’s family had old wizarding money and would likely outshine them all in their most casual attire. Derek always dressed with such simple elegance when out of uniform.

A sharp crack startled him from his musings as he set the table and he rushed to the door, eager to open it before the Nurses knocked. He pulled it open to find Derek striding up their front path, his parents closely behind him. 

Liam grinned. 

“Hey, Nurse,” he called. Derek broke into a run, covering the last 10 feet and colliding bodily with Liam in the doorway. He wrapped his arms around his best friend and hid his grin in his shoulder. 

Neither boy said anything while the elder Nurses closed the distance between them, just holding tight as though they hadn’t seen each other in years instead of merely six weeks.

His mother was shorter than Derek but still stood taller than Liam’s own mother. She had dark hair peeking out from her headscarf which was matched flawlessly to her shirt. Her skin was a couple of shades lighter than Derek’s but it glowed just like his. His father was darker skinned, with close-shorn hair and horn-rimmed glasses. Both wore what they clearly thought were casual outfits, a soft blouse and a crisp oxford, respectively, each in dark denim that likely cost more than Liam’s bicycle. 

“Are you going to introduce us, Habibi?” Derek’s mother asked as she joined them on the porch. 

“Sorry, Mama. This is Liam Poindexter. Liam, these are my parents, Mira and Harold Nurse.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Liam intoned, mindful of his manners. “And thank you so much for coming to get me and for letting me stay.”

“Of course, any friend of Derek’s is welcome in our home. Derek talks about you often, we’re very pleased to meet you at last,” Derek’s father replied. 

“Please come in, dinner is almost ready,” Liam stood aside, holding the door open for them. His parents went through first, then Derek exchanged another grin with Liam and looped his arm through his to pull him into the house behind them.

~

Dinner was nice, all the Poindexters were on their best behaviour, even if Erin did elbow him and waggled her eyebrows a bit when no one else was looking. That was “best behaviour” for Erin. Liam shut her up with a glare. 

Derek was also on his best behaviour, answering questions from everyone with a perfect smile and level voice. It must be exhausting for him. Liam nudged his knee under the table in solidarity. 

Finally, they made ready to depart. Liam and Mr Nurse hauled his trunk outside to the front yard and Derek followed with his smaller duffle. Liam set the trunk down and then returned to be fussed over by his mam and sisters, followed by gruff hugs from his dad and Paddy. He knew he was blushing when they finally released him and waved from the porch as Mr Nurse instructed him to hold his elbow firmly, asked him with a smirk eerily similar to Derek’s, “are you sure you’re not a Weasley?” and then CRACK they were gone.

~

** Derek **

Derek and his mom arrived with a crack a second before his dad and Liam cracked into place next to them, his dad still holding the handle of Liam’s trunk and Liam looking a bit green. 

Now that they were back on magical property, his dad pulled out his wand and levitated the trunk behind them, directing it up into the manor in his wake. 

“Why don’t you show Liam up to his room?” His mom offered, striding ahead to catch up with his dad and leaving Liam space to gather himself. 

He nodded and crossed to Liam’s side. 

“Apparating is rough the first few times,” Derek said, putting a hand on Liam’s back. Liam leaned over, hands on his knees and took several deep breaths. 

“You’re telling me.”

“Come on, I’ll get you some ginger ale up at the house.” Derek wrapped his arm around his friend and led him up to the front door. “Your room is the first one on the left.”

“Thanks.” 

“I’ll let you settle in, yeah?”

“Sure.”

“Bathroom is right across the hall. I’ll be right back with that ginger ale.”

Liam nodded, his features still a bit green and tight. Derek left him to it. He knew how horrible it was to be sick in front of people.

When he got to the kitchen, his parents were leaning against the counter talking quietly between themselves. 

“How’s Liam?” His mom asked. 

Derek crossed to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ginger ale, waving it towards his parents.

“Is there anything you wanted to tell us, Derek?” His dad asked. 

“What?”

“You and Liam are very close,” his mother added.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lied. “I better get this back up to him. Later.”

Derek wasn’t proud of how quickly he fled the room and could feel his parents’ eyes on him all the way to the stairs, which he took two at a time in a fit of nervous energy. 

When he got back up to the guest room they’d put Liam in he knocked gently on the door. 

“Come in,” Liam called and Derek pushed open the door. 

Derek walked in, handing the ginger ale to Liam, seated on the bed. 

“Feeling any better?” 

Liam shrugged.

Derek tapped the side of the bottle. “Drink that. You’ll feel better.”

Liam didn’t respond but did raise the bottle to his lips, taking a few small sips. 

“You wanna take a nap? You look like shit.”

“Gee, thanks, Derek.”

“Come on,” Derek prodded, pulling at Liam’s arm to get him to curl up on the bed. 

“Watch it, Nurse!” Liam said, frantically shoving the ginger ale towards the bedside table. 

“Shhh, let the snuggle happen,” Derek whispered into his hair as he wrapped himself around his friend like a cuddly octopus. 

Liam huffed but laid down next to him and let himself be wrapped up. 

After a few moments, Liam’s breath evened out, but Derek couldn’t sleep. He took a deep breath of Liam, his scent something between soap and farm that suggested he had been doing chores all day and had only been partially successful in scrubbing it off before they had arrived. 

And his parents had immediately read the crush he had on Liam. 

Shite. 

He would have to tone it down in front of them. Not that anything was happening with him and Liam -- Liam didn’t think of him like that, he was just a physically affectionate person -- but he wasn’t ready to come out just yet and he didn’t want to lie. So he’d just tone it down. 

That decided, he finally drifted off to sleep.

~

He and his parents insisted Liam didn’t need to fast with them for Ramadan but he did anyway, getting up before dawn to eat and then joining them for their late dinner after the sun had gone down. 

The second day of their stay, they decided to take a spin on his broomsticks and take turns knocking a weighted ball back and forth with a pair of beater’s bats in the afternoon. When it got too dark to play, they walked up the path from the back garden to the house. Derek had just slung his arm around Liam’s shoulder when his mother walked out the back door. 

Derek dropped his arm. 

Liam gave him a funny look but didn’t say anything. 

“Hungry, boys? It’s nearly sundown.” 

“Yes,” Derek groaned. 

“Yes, please, Mrs Nurse,” Liam added, elbowing Derek in the ribs. “I thought rich boys like you were supposed to have manners,  _ Derek _ .”

“Whatever,  _ William _ .”

Liam rolled his eyes but followed him into the kitchen without further complaint. 

They ate dinner with his parents and told various stories about school. Derek did not kick at Liam’s feet. He did not steal food from his plate. He did not press up against him on the bench they were seated on. 

Liam shot him a couple of looks when Derek scooted a bit further away as Liam’s leg touched his but still didn’t say anything. 

After dinner, they headed up to Derek’s room to work on their homework that they had of course been putting off most of the summer. He thought Liam at least probably had good reason to, with all the work he did on his family’s farm, but Derek was just procrastinating. 

After they worked for a while in silence, Liam cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Do you not want me to touch you anymore?”

“What?” 

“It’s just… you seemed like you didn’t want me to. Which is fine! I know not everyone is as… whatever as me and my family. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page, you know?”

Family. Because Liam thought of him as a brother. Right.  _ Get your head on straight, Nurse. _

“Oh, it’s chill, my dad just said something… don’t worry about it.”

“Nurse. Are you telling me you’re trying to be chill in front of your parents?”

“Excuse you, I’m always chill, Poindexter.”

Liam barked out a laugh. 

“Seriously, Nurse, you don’t have to put on your chill in front of your parents. Surely they know what a massive dork you are. They raised you after all.”

Derek did, in fact, need to ‘put on his chill,’ as Liam put it because he was so not ready for that conversation, but he was also not ready for this one with Liam. He stared at his homework, trying to figure out what to say.

He must have stared too long because Liam spoke again. 

“Derek? I’m sorry, we can stop while we’re here. Really. It’s okay.”

Derek shook his head. 

“No? No what?”

“I…” Derek felt his mouth go dry. “Okay. So. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend, too, Derek,” Liam replied when Derek stopped, searching for words. 

“And I  _ like _ hanging all over you. I do. You and Chris and Farmer and everyone. I love how we all do that. But my parents don’t get it. They’re… more reserved with stuff like that.”

“So they’re uncomfortable? That’s okay, we can stop.”

“No, they…” Derek swallowed. “They asked if we were together. Which we’re not! That’s not what we are, that’s not why we hang out as we do! I know that! But they don’t.”

“So tell them that? Or I can explain it? As I said, my family has always been big on physical affection and stuff. I think Chris’ is too.”

“No, it’s not that.”

Liam reached for his hand before pausing, uncertainty showing in his entire posture. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Liam said softly, his hand hovering in mid-air, heavy like the silence hanging between them.

“I’m gay,” Derek huffed out finally. 

Liam seemed to lose his fight with restraining himself because he launched himself the few feet between them and wrapped Derek in a tight hug. Derek clung right back. 

“I don’t really know what to say right now other than thank you for trusting me with this,” Liam said from his shoulder. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell them,” Derek mumbled into Liam’s flannel shirt. “It’s that I’m not ready yet but I don’t want to outright lie, you know?”

“I get that,” Liam agreed. “Seriously, we can do whatever you want.”

“Thanks, Liam.”

~

The rest of the summer passed pleasantly enough. Alone, he and Liam were their same usual selves, draping themselves over each other, taking naps together, and wrestling for first use of the bathroom. In front of his parents, they were the picture of civility. 

They still teased and poked fun but they weren’t nearly as physically affectionate as they were alone or at Hogwarts. 

Derek secretly breathed easier that Liam hadn’t changed his habits after his revelation. He had never said anything overtly homophobic but muggle society wasn’t always as accepting as wizarding society was when it came to sexuality. 

And Liam had kinda had a panic attack when Adam had come out. Though he was less certain those were related after his own coming out had gone so smoothly. 

They headed to Diagon Alley the first weekend Liam was there, armed with their school book lists and muggle money for Liam to exchange from his parents. 

“I’ve gotta, um,” Liam stuttered, jerking a hand towards Gringotts, his cheeks blushing darkly. 

“You need to go to your vault, Habibi?” Derek’s mom asked. She had started using her favourite endearment on Liam as well and Derek was a little in love with how easily Liam had been accepted into the Nurse family.

Instead of answering, Liam just blushed darker.

“He needs to exchange, Mama. His parents are muggles, remember?” 

“Of course, so sorry, Habibi. Do you want us to come with or wait outside?”

“Please, can I come, Liam? I’ve never seen muggle money,” he wheedled, shifting the focus off of his best friend. 

Liam grinned, back on familiar territory. “You sheltered child. Come on, Nurse. I’ll show you how the real world works.”

Derek shot a smile at his mom and she waved them off fondly, motioning towards a bench nearby. He followed Liam inside. 

Liam had stepped up to one of the counters and gestured Derek to join him, pulling out a handful of colourful slips of paper. They were each a different size and had shiny parts on each along with a number denoting their worth. He showed them to Derek briefly before handing them all to the goblin behind the counter to exchange. 

“Muggle money is just slips of paper?” 

“Well, the bigger stuff is bills, yeah. The smaller stuff we still use coins.” He fished back into his jeans pocket and came out with a tiny copper coin with a large 2 on it, pressing it into Derek’s palm. 

“That’s two cents. A Euro, that’s the main currency, is 100 cents. Five Euros and higher are bills. The paper.”

Derek stared at him. “But it’s just paper?”

Liam laughed. “It’s government-backed paper.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

He shrugged. “The government, the European Union, in this case, says it’s worth money. So people accept it as money.”

The goblin was counting out the galleons, sickles, and knuts onto the counter now, and Liam flicked his eyes to watch instead of look at Derek. 

“Thank you,” Liam said to the goblin, brushing the coins into a small leather pouch. “Come on, I need robes, too. We gotta get a move on.”

“Wait, there’s a European Union?” He asked, falling into step beside Liam. 

Liam gave him a look that said he was about to be lectured and Derek grinned. 

~

Ramadan ended two days before they were to head back to Hogwarts, so Eid al-Fitr fell the day before. The boys packed everything so they would have the full day of the 31st to celebrate. 

They woke up early, though not quite as early as they had during Ramadan, and began with prayers, which Liam sat back and observed politely. Then there was a massive breakfast before they were to head to the Mosque for the Eid prayers and sermon. 

Liam was perfectly polite the whole time, sitting quietly and clearly trying to follow as best as possible, and Derek was a little bit enamoured with it. He answered Liam’s questions quietly with a smile each time, glad his friend was so committed to learning about his faith and culture. 

After the communal luncheon, they went back to the house and relaxed the rest of the day, eating bites of food and praying throughout the day. 

When they finally went to bed that night, they were full from the feasting and completely exhausted. 

It was the perfect end to summer. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Liam**

Liam almost didn’t want to go back to Hogwarts. He was excited for his fourth year, but he wasn’t ready for summer to be over.

He had been at the Nurse Manor for only two weeks but those two weeks had been perfect. He and Derek had practised Quidditch plays together, had done their summer homework together, and had generally become even better friends in those two weeks.

Liam wasn’t ready for the bubble to burst.

He also couldn’t stop thinking about Derek’s confession. He had, of course, backed off on their usual physicality when Derek’s parents were around as Derek had asked, but when they were alone he made sure Derek knew that his sexuality had no impact on their friendship.

That was important.

He himself wasn’t sure what his sexuality was, though he had done a little Googling when he had been home. He was torn between bisexual and pansexual, although he couldn’t really tell the difference between them. He’d decided he would just think of himself as “not straight” for now and decide on a label later. It wasn’t like he was planning on coming out anytime soon anyway. He had plenty of time to figure it out.

He was excited to see his team again, though. When he and Derek arrived at King’s Cross they had looked around for Chris immediately. He had spotted them first, though, and tackled them both from behind.

“You guys! I missed you!”

“Geez, Chow, not in my ear,” Liam grumbled, but he was smiling, too.

They found Caitlin shortly thereafter and all claimed a compartment on the train, dumping their things before returning to say goodbye to their parents.

Derek got a giant hug from his mom and a firm squeeze from his dad as Liam watched. Then his mom looked up and beckoned Liam over as well.

“It was so good to meet you this summer, Liam. Please don’t hesitate to come back. We loved having you and I know Derek did too. He gets lonely on holidays.”

Liam blushed but nodded. She gave him his own giant hug before passing him over to her husband.

“Come back any time, Liam,” he said, giving him a quick hug.

“Thanks again for having me,” he said to both of them.

Derek was watching the three of them, eyes darting between them.

“Come on, let’s board,” he said suddenly, looping his arm through Liam’s as though his parents weren’t there. “Bye Mama, bye Dad, love you!”

“Love you, Derek!” his mom called as Derek drug Liam up to the train. He thought he could hear both of the Nurse parents laughing behind them.

On the train, Chris and Caitlin filled them in on their own vacations, including a joint trip they took with Caitlin’s parents to the south of France.

“It was so beautiful! And we got to lay on the beach and just soak up the sun!”

“Plus we found a wizarding beach so my parents could do some magic,” Cait added.

“That’s awesome,” Derek smiled. “We just hung out at my place, practised Quidditch, you know. Chill.”

Liam rolled his eyes but dutifully filled in bits and pieces of their two weeks hanging out at Derek’s home.

“I’m so glad you were able to hang out, too! Next summer we’ll have to all do something together. Spain maybe?”

Liam felt his cheeks heat. “I can’t afford that kind of thing, Chris,” he mumbled.

“Oh, right, well maybe you could all come to stay at my place! We have a pullout couch you two can share and a spare bedroom that Cait can stay in. It’d be like a giant slumber party!”

Liam nodded but spaced out. Why wasn’t he excited about this? He loved Chris and Cait, they were his best friends after Derek. Why was he suddenly possessive of their summer holiday plans they hadn’t even made yet?

When they made it to the school, at last, they found Adam, Eric, and Lardo as well as Justin from Gryffindor all loudly sharing their own gossip at the Hufflepuff table for the start of term feast.

Justin smiled nervously when they approached.

“I should get back to my own table. See you later, bro,” he held out his fist and Adam bumped it seemingly reflexively. Liam watched him walk back to his own table, certain if he had been pale like Adam that his cheeks would be scarlet in a matching pair. He shook it off.

Derek didn’t. “Getting friendly with Gryffindor, eh Adam?”

“Shut up,” Adam mumbled, shifting down the bench to make room for Derek and Liam.

Derek laughed, swinging his foot over the bench and tripping on his robe hem. Liam reached out and grabbed him as reflexively as Adam and Justin had just bumped fists.

“Watch it, Nurse. Don’t break your pretty face before the season even starts,” he huffed, before realizing what he had said and blushing even darker than Adam.

“Aw, you think my face is pretty, Poindexter?”

Liam glared at him. Derek just laughed.

After the sorting ceremony and start of term announcements, the tables filled with food and the team dove in. They ate and they chirped and they shouted. Some of the other Hufflepuffs glared at them, but the Quidditch team was not to be silenced.

Liam was home.

~

Since they didn’t have any open spots to fill, Lardo dove straight into practices.

“Alright, team. We did well last year. But we’re gonna do better this year.” Everyone nodded. “We’re not as young as we were. Our Beaters especially grew like it was their job this summer.”

Liam shot a look over to Derek. Had he grown? He hadn’t seemed to. Maybe Liam just grew the same amount. His shoulders did look a little broader, now that he was looking. He shook himself out of it. Lardo was still talking.

“So we’re ready to kick some butt, right?”

A loud cheer went up from the team. This was gonna be their year.

The first practice was a bit rusty for the Chasers, who hadn’t practised any of their formations and plays since the prior spring. Chris was still on point -- Liam was sure he and Cait had practised over the summer -- and of course, he and Derek were on fire.

The two weeks flying together every morning had done them a world of good, but flying out with the actual Bludgers? Liam felt _alive._ Derek was always where he expected him to be, they seemed to be an extension of each other in the air, two brooms, two bats, one amazing pair.

It was exhilarating.

When they called it for the night, Lardo pulled them aside.

“Did you two practice those plays over the summer?”

Liam grinned. Derek nodded, a smile tugging at his own lips but trying not to show it.

“Just for a couple weeks, but yeah.”

“You’re looking good. Keep up the good work, yeah?”

When she turned around to head to the changing room, Derek dropped his “chill” mask and flung himself at Liam.

“You’re such a dork, you know that?” Liam chirped, hugging his best friend tightly.

“Chill, Dexter.” He patted Liam on the back before looping his elbow through Liam’s and leading the way to the changing room.

Liam felt his cheeks heat at Derek’s easy touching, something he had missed more than he thought. It had felt private over the summer, not something to be shared. But now Derek was out in the open with it again. It felt like… something.

~

Later, in the Great Hall, he watched as Lardo slipped her own arm through the elbow of the Ravenclaw chaser, Knight, in the same manner and he felt it again. That _something._

Not that Lardo wasn’t physically affectionate. But her touching was usually limited to shoulder bumps and one-armed hugs. To link arms was something else entirely.

Come to think of it, Liam only did it with Derek. Was that also _something_?

Then Knight leaned down and pressed a kiss to Lardo’s cheek and she smiled sheepishly.

Oh.

“Did you see that?” Derek hissed from beside him.

Liam nodded.

“Are they together?”

Liam shrugged. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

If Lardo and Knight were together, what did that mean he and Derek were? Sure, they didn’t exchange cheek kisses. But maybe there was something else there.

Liam pushed that feeling down, cheeks burning.

“None of our business, I suppose.”

He didn’t _want_ there to be anything there. They were best friends. This was just how they acted. It was how they showed they cared for each other. That they loved each other. As _friends._ And any emotions to the contrary were just being a teen-aged boy in puberty with a very attractive best friend. Nothing to see here.

Right?

~

**Derek**

They got back into the swing of school and Quidditch quickly, he and Liam pairing off in classes so Caitlin and Chris could work together, except in Divination which he took with only Chris. The four of them studied and ate together and the school year was shaping up to be a good one.

What Derek as most looking forward to, though, was Liam’s birthday.

Ever since Liam had turned Derek’s birthday into a celebration he’d never thought to want, something small and wonderful and entirely about him, Valentine’s be damned, he’d wondered what to do for Liam’s next birthday. He doesn’t even think he wished Liam a happy birthday last year, much less gotten him a gift.

He would make up for three years of missed birthdays this year.

The thing was, over their growing friendship, Derek had gotten very good at reading Liam. He blushed easily, which everyone knew, but Derek could read those blushes. He could read the curve of Liam’s shoulders when he tried to disappear, despite his ever-increasing size. He could read the furrow between his eyebrows when he was confused.

And he could read when he felt out of place. It was in the set of his shoulders, in the line of his mouth, and in the duck of his head.

Derek wanted to wrap him up in a giant hug and never let him go until he felt like he belonged everywhere he went. He made everyone feel welcome but he didn’t feel the same and it broke Derek’s heart.

He knew parts of it; Liam was kinda gangly and was covered in freckles and, well, like a Weasley. Derek knew that he was self-conscious of his looks. He knew he often felt out of place as a Muggle-born wizard, and although Derek thought he was more than thoroughly caught up by now, he could still see it sometimes.

He had also caught him softening his Irish lilt when he had picked him up from his family home where it was back in full force. Derek hadn’t noticed just how much he softened it at school before.

He understood the feeling, of course. He was wizard born and British but he was one of only a handful of students of colour and one of the very few Muslim students. He never felt comfortable fasting at school, so much so that he skipped the smaller fasts entirely. He prayed when he could but never in public. And while sexuality wasn’t a big deal in most wizarding circles, he was still the minority as a gay wizard.

It was part of the reason he thought he and Liam made such good friends: their joint existence on the edges.

Derek fought the sensation of being outside with his chill. Liam saw through that, of course, but most people didn’t. He appeared effortlessly comfortable in every situation, even when he was ready to crawl out of his skin with anxiety.

Liam just hid and hoped no one noticed him, sitting on the edge, afraid to ask to be let in the middle.

So for his birthday, Derek was going to put him in the centre.

He’d had the idea over the summer and had written to Chris immediately. He’d jumped on board with his usual enthusiasm and the planning was off with a bang.

First thing’s first: get as many people as possible involved. He started spreading the word in early October, three weeks before the big day. Despite his birthday falling on a school night, there would be a massive party in the Hufflepuff common room that night and throughout the day everyone was instructed to wish Liam a happy birthday while never mentioning the party. That would be a surprise.

He had roped Eric in in late September to bake a massive cake with blue frosting - Liam’s favourite colour - and sparkling candles that would play a full orchestral edition of the happy birthday song when activated that everyone could sing along to.

It was extra and he loved it. He was spending a little too much daydreaming, though, imagining Liam’s face when he walked into the common room that night. And if he maybe imagined Liam kissing him in gratitude… well, no one needed to know that.

Unfortunately, Liam could read him as well as Derek could read Liam and soon he got suspicious. They were studying in the library a week before his birthday when it happened. He was on the receiving end of a few furtive glances before Liam finally spoke.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not acting weird.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. Damn this boy’s ability to see through his chill.

Derek sighed. “Just. Trust me, okay?”

“Why.” Liam crossed his arms over his chest.

It wasn’t a question so much as a demand. Derek felt very much on display. Come on, Derek, think of a good lie!

“It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. It seems like you’re avoiding me.”

“What? No! Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, Nurse, you tell me!” He was shouting a bit and Madam Pince glared at them.

Liam blushed and dropped his voice lower again. “You keep scribbling notes and whispering with people and always stop whatever you’re doing when I show up. What the hell am I supposed to think?”

“It’s really nothing, don’t worry about it,” Derek said again. He had no idea how to put Liam off the trail. “I promise I’m not avoiding you. I’m here with you right now, aren’t I?”

Liam huffed and studied him for a moment longer before snapping his book shut and stuffing it in his bag.

“Liam, wait,” Derek whispered, watchful of the librarian.

“What. Either you have an answer or you don’t.”

Derek swallowed.

“Well? Do you?”

“No. I don’t. But I _promise_ I’m not avoiding you or mad at you or anything.”

Liam frowned even deeper at that, his eyes suddenly sad. “You’re mad at me?”

“No, I said I’m _not_ mad at you!”

“Why would you even say that?” He looked like he might cry.

Derek stared at him for a long moment, racking his brain for something, anything, that would explain his odd behaviour, but all he could think of was how sad Liam looked.

“Please don’t go,” he finally begged.

It didn’t work. Without another word, Liam turned on his heel and left the library.

“Fuck,” Derek said.

“Mr Nurse! Language!” scolded Madam Pince.

~

The next day in potions Liam stole Caitlin’s normal seat to work with Chris. Derek was not pouting.

He wasn’t.

“Give him a couple days, he’ll cool down,” Cait murmured beside him as she slid into Liam’s usual seat.

Okay, he was pouting.

All through classes that day Liam kept his distance. He seemed to have to stop himself from automatically attaching to Derek’s side when he walked into a room; Derek could see it in his body language. It was a small mercy.

He also actively diverted himself to sit with Adam at lunch. Derek gritted his teeth. It would all be worth it on Wednesday.

He sat with Caitlin in Transfiguration. Derek slumped so far down he was eye level with the desk.

At dinner, Liam sat at the Ravenclaw table with Tony Tangredi. Derek ate his bangers and mash in his barely-disguised sulk.

After dinner, unable to watch Liam ignore him anymore, Derek trudged back to the library to sulk alone. When he got back to the dormitory, Liam was asleep.

In Divination Friday morning he flopped down into his seat and leaned onto Chris.

“I want to tell him but I don’t want to ruin the surprise, you know?”

“I know. He’ll cool down.”

“I don’t know that I believe you right now.”

Chris patted his shoulder.

Saturday they had Quidditch practice, which was its own special form of hell. Because for all that Liam was ignoring him, Derek was still insanely aware of where he was and it seemed Liam was the same.

That is to say, they still played beautifully.

But afterwards, Liam didn’t even offer him a fist bump or a smile. Just walked to the changing room and dressed quickly and left. Derek wasn’t sure where he went after that because he didn’t see him the rest of the day. He didn’t see Chris either, though, so he figured they were somewhere together and Liam was alright.

He fell asleep before either of them came back to the dormitory.

Finally, on Sunday morning, Liam flopped into an armchair across from Derek apropos of nothing.

“Chris said you’re not being an arse, just an idiot. And that I should stop ignoring you.”

Derek blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the sentence he had just heard.

“Oh. Chill,” he said dumbly.

Liam rolled his eyes but didn’t leave. Derek counted it as a victory.

They worked on homework together and sat together in classes on Monday and Tuesday, but Liam still seemed wary. He didn’t loop his arm around Derek’s shoulders or lace his elbow through his. He didn’t flop on him dramatically after practice. But he was there. It would all be worth it on Wednesday.

Derek relegated all of the reminding and secret whispering to the rest of the team, who were glad to finish the party preparation or distract Liam when Derek really needed to do something. Adam even dragged Justin into it and Lardo brought Knight. Word was spreading fast. It was going to work.

Wednesday morning dawned bright and chilly and Derek grinned at the sleeping form of Liam Poindexter across from him, sprawled out asleep on his own bed.

He looked the other way to see Chris slowly waking up and jerked his head at Liam. Chris grinned and slid out of bed, coming around the other side of Liam’s bed and holding up one finger.

“One, two, three,” he whispered, and they both leapt onto Liam’s bed shouting “Happy birthday!” in unison.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Liam swore, jerking awake and flailing his long legs in panic. He quickly regained his wits though and grabbed Derek around the neck, pulling him down in a headlock. They all wrestled for a minute before giving up and laying on top of one another on the bed.

“Happy birthday, Liam,” Derek grinned at him.

“Thanks,” Liam grinned back.

~

**Liam**

Liam was still a little peeved at Derek but it was his birthday and he was going to enjoy it, dammit.

Besides, it was kinda nice to wake up to his two best friends and a frog pile. They all laid in his bed for a bit until Derek decided it was time to get up and managed to elbow Chris in the stomach in his efforts before falling off the bed and taking Liam with him in a pile of blankets.

They all burst into laughter.

Yeah, this was gonna be a good birthday.

They got dressed and headed down to the common room to pick up Caitlin, who wished him a happy birthday as well, then headed for the Great Hall. Liam let Derek swing his arm around his shoulders as they walked, determined not to ruin his own birthday with unfounded jealousy of whatever secret Derek was keeping.

They ran into Lardo and her probably-boyfriend on the way, who both wished him a happy birthday.

“This is Shitty, by the way,” Lardo jabbed a thumb at her probably-boyfriend.

“Shitty?” Derek asked.

“Yup,” the older boy answered, as if that was a perfectly acceptable thing to be called.

“Alright,” Derek agreed.

At the Great Hall, people turned and watched as he walked between the tables, holding out fists to bump and offering up “Happy birthday, Poindexter.”

He didn’t even know who most of these people were. It was especially strange because he didn’t remember anyone but Chris remembering his birthday last year and now it seemed like half the school knew. He could feel a blush rising in his cheeks.

It was kinda nice though, in a way. Maybe joining the Quidditch team had finally gotten him the social leg up he had been looking for. He was someone worth knowing.

It was also pretty suspicious though.

By the time he found a seat with Derek and the rest of the team, he could tell his face was bright red. Derek was unsuccessfully trying to hide a grin in a large pile of scrambled eggs.

“What did you do,” he asked him.

“Me?” Derek looked up, speaking through a mouthful of food. “I didn’t do anything.”

“The entire school just suddenly knows who I am and that it’s my birthday?” Liam raised his eyebrows.

Derek finally swallowed. “You’re a popular guy, Poindexter,” he said with a grin.

“Bullshit.”

“Sure seems like it to me,” Chris piped up. “Everyone knows it’s your birthday!”

Liam narrowed his eyes and looked around to all of his friends. A couple snickered but none of them gave it up.

On the way to their first class, yet more students wished him a happy birthday as he travelled through the halls, getting friendly backslaps and smiles from students of all years.

When he and Cait finally got to the Arithmancy room, even Professor Vector wished him a happy birthday and Cait’s eyes bugged out a bit. Liam thanked her and laughed at Cait.

“Your little plan get a little out of hand, Farmer?” he whispered as class began.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Poindexter,” she whispered back, pulling out her notes.

The same thing happened at lunch as had happened at breakfast, but by now Liam was just enjoying himself. He graciously accepted fist bumps and back pats and shouts across the Great Hall, all the while sneaking glances at Caitlin, Chris, and Derek.

Derek looked very pleased with himself behind his chill facade. Chris and Cait seemed to be watching Derek. That was interesting.  Was it just Derek’s plan? Could explain the evasiveness of the last few weeks…

He made it through the rest of the day, a permanent blush staining his cheeks, and was very ready to head back to the common room to eat some of the sweets the team had gotten him, when Chris intercepted him on his way out of the Great Hall.

“Come to the library with me?”

“What? Why?” Liam stuttered.

“Please,” Chris whined. “I really need to pick up this book I put on hold and I don’t wanna go alone. Madam Pince always glares at me even though I’m not the loud frog.”

Liam rolled his eyes.

“Fine, but then I have a date with some birthday sweets, Chow.”

“You got it,” Chris nodded solemnly. “Okay, let’s go!” he shouted, grinning again.

Liam let out a heavy sigh but followed his enthusiastic best friend, getting another round of happy birthday high fives as they exited.

“So are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on, today?”

“What do you mean?” Chris blinked innocently.

“With everyone wishing me a happy birthday?”

Chris looked at him wide-eyed. “You do know it’s your birthday, don’t you, Liam?”

Liam shoved him gently by the shoulder. “Come off it, you know what I mean. How does everyone in the whole school know? And why do they care?”

Chris shrugged. “You’re just that cool.”

“Very funny.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

Liam sighed heavily as they entered the library. They went straight to Madam Pince’s desk.

“Happy birthday, Mr Poindexter,” she said. Liam gaped. Madam Pince’s only interactions with students seemed to be shushing them and kicking them out of her library. “Your book, Mr Chow,” she directed at Chris, handing him a large text.

“Thanks! Come on, Liam. You’ve got a date with some birthday sweets, remember?”

“Uh huh,” Liam agreed, letting Chris guide him out of the library.

Chris chattered all the way back to the Hufflepuff common room and they surprisingly didn’t run into any more birthday well-wishers on the way.

When Chris tapped out the entrance pattern on the barrels to the common room, he motioned Liam ahead of him, so he climbed through.

When he emerged, it was suddenly apparent why they hadn’t run into anyone on the way back from the library. The entire school seemed to be in the Hufflepuff common room.

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled when he straightened up.

All of Hufflepuff house was there, along with several members of the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw quidditch teams, his friend Tony from Ravenclaw and another boy whose name he didn’t know but was never seen without Tony, and front and centre stood Derek Nurse.

“What’s going on?” he asked, staring at Derek.

“Happy birthday, Liam,” Derek grinned.

Liam could kiss him.

He’d done all this planning, all this work, he’d kept a secret just so Liam could have a day where everyone knew his name. He’d let Liam be mad at him to keep the surprise. He could take three steps and grab ahold of those perfect cheekbones and just fucking kiss him.

At that moment, he was more certain than ever that he was in love with Derek Nurse and all he wanted to do was kiss that grin off his face.

He didn’t, of course, but he did cross the few steps and tackle him into a hug.

“You absolute bloody idiot,” he told his best friend. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

Derek just squeezed him tighter. “I absolutely bloody well did.”

~

The party was a complete riot.

Eric tried Firewhiskey for the first time and got drunk hilariously quickly, then proceeded to hit on Jack Zimmermann from Ravenclaw hilariously poorly.

Adam and Justin rolled in an entire keg of butterbeer and taught Liam how to do a keg stand.

Derek levitated out a giant cake covered in blue rosettes of frosting, and when he tapped the candles with his wand they burst into the happy birthday song, which all of the partygoers happily joined in with varying levels of soberness.

Lardo and Shitty were found making out on a couch around 9:00, which for some reason prompted Adam and Justin to create an elaborate best friends handshake that took an hour to design and five full minutes to execute.

Chris reminded them at some point that they had all signed a card for Liam and Derek ran up to the dorm to get it. It was easily three feet tall and covered in all sorts of notes from half the house and most of the Quidditch players from the other houses. Liam didn’t cry but it was a close thing.

He just hugged Derek until he could look up without tears in his eyes. No one chirped him.

Around 11:00, the other houses started to filter out and the Hufflepuffs started to drift off to the dorms. Liam let himself collapse on top of Derek on an overstuffed armchair.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Derek asked.

“The best.”

“I’m glad. You deserve it.”

Liam felt his cheeks heat and knew he couldn’t blame the butterbeer.

“Was this why you were acting so strange?”

Derek choked a little, and Liam shifted to let him sit up.

He raised his eyebrows at Derek.

“Well, yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just wanted everything to be perfect, you know?”

“Yeah,” Liam sighed. He could appreciate that sentiment. He wanted everything to go right for Derek, too.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” Derek patted his thigh, pushing himself to his feet.

Liam flushed at the contact, jumping up a little too fast to follow him upstairs.

They passed Chris and Cait saying goodnight at the door to the girls’ dormitory and Liam squashed down his usual stab of envy. It was a good day, he wasn’t going to ruin it by wishing for more.

He followed Derek upstairs, changed into his pyjamas, and climbed into bed.

“Goodnight, Derek. Thanks for an amazing birthday.”

“You’re welcome,” Derek murmured.

Liam could have almost sworn he heard something else whispered into the dark after that, but then he was drifting off to sleep.

~

**Derek**

Derek was an idiot. Thankfully, Liam hadn’t heard him. Or had ignored him. It was kind of unclear.

But either way, he didn’t act on the late night confession Derek had been stupid enough to whisper at him on his birthday.

He had been nervous the next morning but when Liam had gone back to treating him the same as before their fight, he figured they were going to just move on. He lost himself in the feeling of having his best friend back.

It was for the best. Derek really needed to get over him. Maybe if he tried dating?

The idea lodged in his head and in mid-November, their first Quidditch match of the year looming, he came out to the team.

Liam grinned at him and waited while everyone hugged him before getting his own.

“Proud of you,” he whispered in Derek’s ear.

As he expected, word spread around the school pretty quickly. He breathed a little easier, supported so easily by his friends.

By the time the Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff match happened, the whole school seemed to know and Derek was floating on cloud nine.

~

The holidays were more or less uneventful, though his large home felt empty without Liam in it suddenly, despite having spent years alone in the manor.

He casually let slip to his parents that he was thinking about dating boys this year and they hugged and kissed him as always.

He saw aunts and uncles and cousins and not a single one of them was William Poindexter.

~

And then it was spring term and the Valentine’s Day Hogsmeade trip was looming.

Derek hadn’t thought to make plans, really. Chris and Cait were going together again, it was their anniversary after all. Shitty was taking Lardo on a date. Probably. No one was really clear what they were to each other. But they were definitely going together down to Hogsmeade. Eric had opted to stay up at the castle, he had a new recipe from his Moomaw he wanted to try.

If he was being honest with himself, he hoped Liam would take him on another not-a-date. They had had such a great time last year and what was so wrong with wanting to hang out with his best friend on his birthday? Nothing, that’s what.

But then the first week of February, George Wilson from Gryffindor approached him in the Great Hall at breakfast.

“Hey, Derek.”

“Hi?”

“I was wondering if you had a date for the Hogsmeade trip for Valentine’s Day?”

He wasn’t sure he’d ever had a one-on-one conversation with the guy. But he was cute and Derek was young and had a best friend to get over. So he shook his head.

“Do you want to go with me?”

“Sure. Just so you know, though, it’s also my birthday.”

“I know.”

“Chill.”

“Great. See you then!”

And he walked away. Derek turned back to the table and found Liam glaring at him. He had a blush high on his cheeks and his jaw was clenched.

“What?”

Liam shook his head, forcibly dropping the tension in his jaw and shoulders. “Nothing.”

Derek watched him another moment but he didn’t offer up a better answer.

By the time they headed to class, Liam was acting like nothing strange had happened and Derek let him ignore it. There was no point starting a fight over it.

~

He let the fact of having a date more or less slip his mind until the day of the Hogsmeade trip, when Liam refused to get out bed.

“Come on, up you get. It’s Hogsmeade day.”

“Not going,” Liam mumbled.

“What? Why? You love Hogsmeade!”

“Don’t have a date,” he continued into his pillow.

“So? Lots of people don’t.”

“Everyone I know either has a date or isn’t going. So I’m not going.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Go enjoy your _date_ , Derek.”

“Do you have a problem with my going out with George?”

“What? No,” Liam finally sat up, looking at Derek with confusion in his eyes.

“I think you do.”

“What the hell, Derek?”

“Is it because he’s a boy?”

“No!”

“Because you need to get over yourself, Poindexter.”

“I don’t have a problem with your sexuality! I thought I made that perfectly clear! Jesus! I just would have appreciated a heads up because I thought we were going together.”

“Oh, so it’s about your plans, is it?”

“Whatever, Nurse,” he snapped, flopping back on his bed and pulling his blanket up over his head.

That hurt. The use of his surname told him more than any of his words had about how he was feeling.

“Fine, have fun staying home. I have to go.”

He left the dormitory, stopping in the bathroom to do his hair, determined not to let Liam’s grumpiness ruin his first date.

He grinned at his reflection. He had a date! With a boy!

It wasn’t like he thought it would never happen, he knew he was attractive, but it was a small school and he was incredibly gay. And he’d been pining over his best friend for the last year while his other best friends dated each other. He wasn’t exactly rolling in options.

But he had a date!

He’d asked Chris if he knew anything about George and Chris had said he was really cool, but Chris thought everyone was cool, so that wasn’t worth all that much.

He was in Eric’s year but Eric didn’t know much about him either other than he was quiet in classes. Not a lot to go off of.

But he was cute and it was just a Hogsmeade trip. So Derek was excited.

They met in the Great Hall and walked down to the village together. Along the way, they chatted about their families, favourite classes and professors, and Quidditch. Gryffindor had beat Hufflepuff that year and George chirped him good-naturedly.

It was nice.

They went to Madam Puddifoot’s, as one is wont to do on Valentine’s Day, and Derek firmly pushed the idea of Liam swinging him by his elbow away from the explosion of pink last year. He wasn’t thinking about Liam today.

George was sweet. He bought Derek his coffee and shyly offered his hand for holding across the table. Derek took it. They were both wizard-born and only children, so they had a lot of childhood stories eerily in common.

George’s deep brown eyes with their long lashes were easy to get lost in. His hand was warm and solid, a quill callus the only mark on it. His hair looked soft, though Derek didn’t touch it. His lips looked softer and Derek definitely wanted to touch them.

At the end of the date, George walked him back to the Hufflepuff common room entrance, hand in hand, all the way from Hogsmeade.

“I had a really nice time today.”

“I did, too. Thank you for asking me,” Derek smiled. He suddenly felt shy and dropped his eyes down to his shoes.

“Can I kiss you, Derek?” George asked, squeezing lightly on his hand.

Derek looked up into his earnest brown eyes and breathed out, “yeah.”

George lifted the hand that wasn’t in Derek’s up to his jaw, cupping it softly, and leaned in. Derek’s eyes fluttered closed as he felt George’s breath on his lips and then the soft press of a kiss.

It only lasted a couple of seconds, just a press of warm lips to his own, and then George drew back. Derek opened his eyes slowly, his heart pounding somewhere in his throat.

“I’d like to take you out again, if you’ll let me,” George said quietly.

“I’d like that a lot,” Derek smiled.

“Great. I’ll see you later, then?”

“Yeah. Goodnight, George.”

“Goodnight, Derek.”

Derek turned around, tapping out the password to get into the common room, throwing one last smile over his shoulder before disappearing down the entrance.

He immediately flopped on a big couch and grinned up at the ceiling. He was gonna be alright.

~

A couple of hours later, Derek was reading his Potions textbook, trying to sort out the homework, when Chris and Cait finally got back.

“Hey lovebirds,” he greeted.

They flopped on the couch next to him.

“How was your date, Derek?” Cait asked.

“It was lovely. He was a perfect gentleman. He’s sweet and shy and cute and he kissed me goodnight at the door to the common room. It was the perfect first date.”

“Are you gonna see him again?” Chris asked.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s wonderful!” Chris grinned.

“I’m so happy for you, Der,” Cait added.

Derek grinned at his friends and prodded them until they told him about their own day in Hogsmeade. Chris blushed and Cait laughed and Derek almost forgot that Liam was brooding in their dormitory alone.

Except it turned out he wasn’t brooding and he wasn’t alone. When he and Chris headed up to bed, they found Liam holding and comforting a crying Eric Bittle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m almost done with all the edits! my betas have chapter 7, i’m nearly done with ch 8, and the epilogue is only like 1500 words so it’ll be fast. i’m so excited for y’all to read it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Liam**

The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Liam didn’t want to get up at all. Derek had come and pestered him about getting up like he was going to Hogsmeade alone on Valentine’s Day and watch his best friend on a date with someone else.

Someone who wasn’t Liam. Not that he was out. Or had asked him. Or shown any real interest at all.

He wanted to ask him out, had wanted to since the previous summer at least a little bit, and since the wonderful birthday party he had become more certain than ever that he was in love with Derek Nurse.

It sucked.

Eventually, after Derek left and the Hufflepuff common room was quiet, all the other students off making eyes at each other in Hogsmeade, he dragged himself out of bed. He would not lay around and mope all day. He would _not_.

Instead, he showered and gathered his books, then walked down to the library. He may as well be productive if his whole day was going to be spent in this mood.

When he got there, he found Eric spread out at a long table, pulling his hair out over his notes.

“Mind if I join you?”

Eric looked up. “Hi, yeah, sure, that’s fine,” he said distractedly.

“You alright, Eric?”

“It’s these bloody History of Magic notes!” He huffed. “I can remember recipe ratios backwards and forwards but ask me,” he skimmed a finger down his notes, “who invented Wolfsbane and when and my mind just goes blank! I can’t keep it in my head.”

“That sounds horrid, I’m sorry, Eric.”

“Not your fault, _enaid_ ,” he sighed. “I’m afraid I’m going to fail my OWL, though. Not that I particularly want to take two more years of History of Magic, but my ma will be so disappointed.”

“I’m sure she knows you’re trying your hardest,” Eric countered.

Eric shook his head and looked suspiciously like he was about to cry. “She doesn’t understand. She thinks I just don’t study hard enough. But I just can’t keep it in my brain!”

“I can help,” an accented voice interrupted. “If you want.”

Liam and Eric both looked up to see Jack Zimmerman standing over their table.

Eric blushed and rubbed a wrist across his eyes at not yet spilt tears.

“What?”

Jack shrugged. “I’m good with history. And I don’t have quite the same problems with factual memory, but learning in your second language means coming up with a lot of mnemonic devices.”

Eric gaped up at him. Liam kicked him under the table.

“That would be amazing, Jack! Thank you!”

“Here, you can have my seat,” Liam stood, gathering his bag back up, still packed full of books.

“Oh, no, please, I don’t want to disrupt your studying,” Jack stammered.

“I haven’t even started. I’ll just move a table over, really it’s not a problem.”

Jack nodded slowly and finally took the proffered chair.

Liam smiled to himself as he settled into the next table down, pulling out a half-finished potions essay and getting to work. He got a decent amount written when his thoughts were interrupted by Eric _laughing._

Considering how he had left the table less than an hour ago the sound was a pleasant surprise. He smiled to himself and continued working. The rise and fall of Jack’s deep, French-accented voice and Eric’s lilting Welsh accent kept him just this side of distracted, as did their occasional bursts of laughter.

Well, Eric’s bursts of laughter, followed by Jack’s dry chuckle.

Liam decided to call it. The laughter and low, flirty conversation were enough to make him ache. He would finish this in the common room with the first and second years. He waved at Eric and Jack as he left but they didn’t break eye contact with each other. He worked for a couple of hours on the overstuffed chair in front of the fire before he was startled again by the appearance of Eric Bittle, not looking happy at all but close to tears again.

“Eric? Are you okay?”

Eric shook his head as the tears finally escaped his eyes. He was flushed in the face like he had run all the way back to the common room from the library.

Liam abandoned his homework and strode quickly across the floor, opening his arms in invitation and then folding Eric into them firmly when he nodded.

“What happened?” he murmured.

“Nothing happened,” Eric whispered back.

“Eric you can tell me. Did someone say something to you? Did someone hurt you?”

Eric shook his head in the shoulder of Liam’s robes.

Liam looked around, noticing how many students were laying around the common room staring at the pair of them.

“Let’s go to my dorm, yeah? Chris and Derek are still out.”

Eric let himself be led upstairs.

“Can I do anything?” he asked when Eric had sat down heavily on Liam’s bed. He seemed to be curling himself inwards in an attempt to disappear entirely.

“I’m gay, Liam,” Eric said instead of answering.

“Okay,” Liam said, giving him a small smile. “Thanks for telling me.”

Eric smiled weakly at him, tears still streaming, then looked down at his hands.

“I should’ve learned this a long time ago.” He took a deep breath, then looked up, meeting Liam’s eye. “Never fall for a straight boy.”

“ _A mhuirnín_ ,” Liam murmured, sitting down heavily on the mattress beside his friend and wrapping his arms around him tightly. Eric broke into sobs.

He sobbed through what Liam supposed was an explanation but he only caught every few words. It was definitely about Jack, something about a crush and then something about love? Liam wasn’t sure, but he held onto him and rubbed his back.

He had begun to calm down when the door to the dormitory flung open and Derek and Chris stopped dead in their tracks.

Liam widened his eyes at them purposefully, trying to tell them to bugger off without embarrassing Eric. Not that they got the point.

“Is he okay?” Derek asked.

“I’m fine, boys, don’t worry about me,” Eric sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“Can we have a moment?” Liam shot at the other two, who finally got the picture and retreated, closing the door carefully.

Liam loosened his hold on Eric and reached over to grab the tissues on his bedside table.

“Here,” he offered. “You’re gonna be alright, Eric. I promise. You’ve got the team and you’ve got me in particular. We’ve got your back. Jack doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Eric sniffled and smiled a watery smile at him.

“You’re a good friend, Liam.”

~

 After a bit, Eric having blown his nose and dried his eyes, Liam walked him out to wash his face and sleep it off. He stopped in the common room to collect Chris and Derek.

“You can come up now,” he announced when he found them.

“Is Eric alright?” Chris asked immediately.

“Yeah, the bloke was crying like his heart just got broken.”

Liam shrugged.

“Wait, really?” Derek prodded.

“Not my story to tell,” Liam shrugged again.

They all went back into their dormitory and began to get ready for bed.

“How was the rest of your day, Liam?” Derek asked cautiously.

“It was fine. I got a lot done.”

“That’s good.”

“How was your date?”

Derek darted a look at him. Liam did his best to look earnestly interested. Derek smiled.

“It was lovely, actually. He’s really sweet.”

“I’m glad you had a good time,” Liam smiled.

“I did.”

Liam sighed. Better to get this over with. “I’m sorry I snapped at you this morning.”

“I’m sorry I projected my nerves onto you,” Derek replied. Which… that explained a lot actually. He had been awfully quiet on the subject of his date. And when Derek Nurse got quiet it was probably time to worry.

“Aw!” Chris grinned at them both. “I love it when you two get along!”

Liam rolled his eyes fondly.

“So, are you gonna see him again?”

“Yeah, he asked if we could do it again and I said yeah,” Derek smiled. “And he kissed me.”

“Oh yeah?” Liam goaded, grinning. “Do tell.”

Derek flushed a bit and Liam tried desperately not to match him.

“It was just a little kiss goodnight, nothing to write home about.”

“Come on, some of us haven’t ever been kissed before, let me live vicariously through you!”

Instead of giving more details, though, Derek paused, then asked, “You’ve really never kissed anyone?”

Liam was definitely blushing now. He shrugged and hunched into himself.

“I’m not exactly a looker, am I?”

“What? You’re super cute, Liam!” Chris protested. “I’m sure lots of girls would love to kiss you! Have you ever asked one out?”

Liam flicked his eyes to Derek.

“Or boys,” Derek offered.

“You two would know if I had,” Liam said instead of answering. He still wasn’t sure where he fell in terms of sexuality, with the sole thought of _I am in love with Derek Nurse_ occupying so much of his mind. It was hard to think of anyone else when Derek was always there, always beautiful, and always not in love with him back.

“That’s okay! We’re young. You’ll find someone!” Chris barrelled on. “Do you want us to set you up?”

“Maybe later,” he mumbled. “Not right now.”

“Chill,” Derek said. Liam rolled his eyes right on cue and Derek grinned at him.

~

The next day, Liam sat with Eric at breakfast. He looked better than he had when he’d put him to bed the night before. Two of his roommates, Ollie and Pacer, had taken him from Liam at the door and bundled him into a blanket cocoon. Clearly, it had done him good.

Derek was nowhere to be seen, but when he saw him in their first class together it was immediately apparent why. His lips were red and his hair was in disarray.

Liam swallowed hard. _Good for him_ , he thought fiercely, telling his heart to settle down. He bumped his shoulder against Derek’s as he sat but didn’t press up against him as he usually did.

It was too much, though he wasn’t sure if it was too much for Derek or for himself.

~

**Derek**

Making out was amazing. He loved the way George held him tightly and explored with his tongue. It made him feel so alive.

They went on a few more dates, too, to Hogsmeade again in March, on study dates in the library where they cuddled and read, and on a picnic date on an unseasonably warm day.

It was sweet and comfortable and it was… not enough.

George was great, don’t get him wrong. He was everything his romantic heart should want. But he found himself instead fixating on the fact that Liam was being oddly distant. They weren’t fighting. And he wasn’t _not_ touching him. But he was touching less. And he seemed less sure of what touches he did still give Derek.

When Derek tried to initiate cuddles or drape himself over Liam, he shied away, just a little bit. He would suddenly remember homework or he would ask him about George. And Derek was starting to resent it.

In early April, Shitty got a letter. He was sitting at the Hufflepuff table with Lardo when it came. They had all been talking about Quidditch, Eric, in particular, was deep in strategy talk with Lardo, when it fluttered down into Shitty’s lap.

He opened it lazily, scanning the words slowly, then his eyes widened.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, and conversation stopped, turning to look at him.

“You okay, man?” Justin asked.

“Um,” Shitty said, still staring at the letter.

“What is it?” Lardo asked.

“St. Martin wants me.”

There was a moment of shocked silence, then the table erupted.

“Sebastian fucking St. Martin!”

“You fucking did it!”

The table became a gathering spot quickly as Shitty’s friends from Ravenclaw joined them and the entire Great Hall seemed to be celebrating.

Derek didn’t quite know what was going on but he did notice Lardo slip from the crowd and hurry out of the Great Hall, head bent low. He clapped Shitty on the back and went after her. As he left the Hall he saw her slip into an empty classroom.

“Lards?” He called, jogging across the entrance hall to catch up to her. “Larissa?”

“Hey Nurse,” she sniffled.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, crossing to the chair she had fallen into.

She shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just… I’m gonna miss him.”

“I mean, he’s graduating, yeah? This isn’t… new?”

“No, I mean yeah, but he’s going with St. Martin. Which is amazing! I’m so happy for him, it’s what he wanted, but who knows when I’ll be able to see him.”

“Where is St. Martin based?”

“He’s a travelling scholar. He goes all over. Archivist, you know? Goes around and restores magical documents. It’s so cool. But it means he’ll be away more than he’s anywhere near here.”

“That sucks, bro.”

Lardo shrugged.

“I should be happy for him but I just can’t be when it means he’ll be that far away all the time.” She sniffed again. “Ugh, I’m the worst best friend ever.”

Derek studied her for a moment, trying to figure out how to word what he needed to say next.

“You’re not… um…”

“No, we’re not dating,” Lardo sighed at last. “I just kinda wish we were? I don’t know, man.”

“Feelings,” Derek nodded.

“Feelings,” Lardo agreed.

“Do you want a hug?” He offered.

She shrugged, then nodded, and he wrapped her in his arms.

“You’re gonna be alright.”

She sniffed against his robes.

“Lardo?” A voice called.

“Fuck,” murmured Lardo, wiping furiously at her eyes.

“Do you want me to stay?” Derek asked quietly.

Lardo shook her head, took a deep breath, and called out. “In here, Shits.”

Shitty popped his head into the room, his face confused and quickly dropping into worried.

“Geez, Lardo, what happened? What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and stood, hugging him closely. Shitty looked surprised at first but then dropped his arms around her upper back, murmuring softly to her.

“I’ll see you later, Lardo,” Derek said, making for the door. He knew when he wasn’t needed.

Back in the Great Hall, he was the subject of many curious looks but he didn’t answer their questioning stares. He just sat down and finished his breakfast, lost in thought.

All through the day, he floated, his mind always preoccupied. He couldn’t put his finger on what was bugging him until he saw George at dinner that night. He greeted him with a chaste kiss and asked about his day and it was lovely but it wasn’t… that.

It wasn’t that rawness that demanded he be with him like Lardo had for Shitty. It wasn’t even really more than the fact that making out with George was fun. But it had been two months and he didn’t feel any real pull. And sure, he was only 15 once, but it was suddenly falling flat.

It wasn’t like Lardo and Shitty. It wasn’t like…

Well, it wasn’t like Liam.

He shook his head. He couldn’t be thinking like this while he had dinner with George. It wasn’t fair to him. But maybe dating as a distraction wasn’t really working out. Maybe he needed to call it off.

All through dinner, he circled back to it. When George dropped him off at the Hufflepuff common room, he gave him a small kiss and told him he was tired.

He entered the common room and flopped down on a couch next to Liam and Chris.

“How do you break up with someone?”

Liam startled visibly.

Chris put his book down. “You want to break up with George?”

Derek nodded.

“Why?” Liam asked.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s isn’t going anywhere?”

“How so?” Chris asked.

“Like, it’s fun and I like him, but…” Derek rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you want it to _go somewhere_?” Liam asked, his face flushing.

Derek swallowed hard. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Right,” he flushed darker.

“It’s chill. I meant, like, emotionally?”

“Got it.”

“You could tell him that?” Chris said.

“Ugh, no, words suck.”

“You’re literally a poet, Derek,” Liam chirped.

“I could set him up with someone else! Who do we know in the fifth year? Oh! Eric!”

“I’m not dating your boyfriend so you don’t have to break up with him!” Eric called from across the room.

“Oh come on!” Derek moaned. “You’re all the worst friends ever. Help me!”

Adam flopped down across from them. “Ghost him!”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “We all live in the same castle, Adam. How is he going to ghost him?”

“Just walk the other direction whenever you see him, then,” Adam shrugged.

“I don’t think that will work,” Chris said.

“This is the worst,” Derek whined. “Chris, will you break up with him for me?”

“No.”

Derek pouted at him.

Chris rolled his eyes. “You’re the worst. I will come with you.”

~

The next day was Saturday and Derek had arranged to study with George in the morning.

Not wanting to break up in the library and get scolded by Madam Pince (again) for causing a scene, he grabbed Chris and dragged him over to the Gryffindor table.

“Hey, Derek! Hi, Chris,” George smiled up at them. “Still on for our study date?”

“Um, I,” Derek fidgeted.

Chris smiled at him encouragingly.

“I--” Derek failed out an arm and knocked a glass of orange juice onto George’s lap.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I’ll just go, leave you alone, forever, bye,” Derek rambled, stopped from physically running away from the table by Chris’ hand on his elbow.

George pulled out his wand and quickly vanished the juice.

“No big deal,” he smiled cautiously. “Is something wrong, Derek?”

“Wrong? Nope, nothing wrong,” he squeaked, his voice cracking. “I’m just gonna go, you don’t want my clumsy arse around I’m sure.” He tried to walk away again but Chris still had ahold of him.

“Derek,” George interrupted. “Do you want to break up or something?”

“I’m so sorry, yes, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” George assured him. “Can I ask why?”

Derek squawked.

George laughed. “It’s really okay, Derek. I like you but if you’re not feeling it that’s alright.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Chill, yeah, see you around.”

Chris led him back to the Hufflepuff table, stumbling over his own feet, and sat him down.

“I did it,” he told his eggs.

“You mean you spilt orange juice on him and panicked,” Chris amended.

Derek glared at him.

“But yeah, you broke up with him. Well, he broke up with you, really.”

Liam swung his arm around Derek’s shoulders as he glared at his eggs.

“You alright?” Liam asked softly.

Derek nodded.

Liam squeezed his shoulder before returning to his own breakfast.

He studied in the common room with Liam that day, who seemed to be keeping an eye on him. He was sitting very close and looking at him all the time. He bumped his shoulder and snuck his freezing toes under Derek’s thigh.

After a bit, he realized why it seemed weird. Liam hadn’t been this free with his casual touches while he had been dating George.

“You alright, Derek?” he asked, and Derek realized he had been staring.

“You were different. When I was dating George. You acted differently. Why?”

Liam blushed.

“I didn’t want to cause issues with you and George. People don’t like it when someone else is all over their partner.”

Now it was Derek’s turn to flush because he certainly didn’t like it when people were all over Liam, but that was beside the point.

“If who I’m dating is gonna be jealous of our friendship, I shouldn’t be dating them.”

“That’s very mature from someone who spilt orange juice on his boyfriend this morning in an attempt to break up,” Liam chirped with a smile.

“Shove it, Poindexter. I’m very mature,” he said, looping his arm around Liam’s neck and pulling him into a headlock.  

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed this. It was good to have it back.

~

**Liam**

Liam was trying very hard to not be happy Derek was single.

He could see a pain in his eyes when he spaced out. He knew it was Derek’s choice but he still looked a little bit heart-broken.

So Liam was trying very hard not to be happy that Derek is single again.

Instead, he threw himself into cheering up his best friend. They had less than two months left in the school year, so they had a lot of studying to do. Liam made all of the frogs and Caitlin study tables and helped keep them on track. He pulled Eric out of the kitchens and sat him down to study with them. He made plans to stay with Derek again this summer.

That was what he was really looking forward to. He missed his family and was glad he would be seeing them soon, but he was so excited to stay with Derek again.

After they all survived their exams, Liam baked one last tart with Eric to bring home to his family and then they were off on the Hogwarts Express for the summer.

His mam was waiting by the Portkey manager as always and she waved him over when he disembarked.

He turned back to Derek first.

“You’ll write, yeah?”

“Of course, Poindexter. And you’re still coming to visit?”

“Of course,” Liam grinned back. He tackled Derek into a tight hug and willed himself not to cry. It was just six weeks. They would write. Besides, he didn’t have any real reason to miss him this much.

“I’ll miss you too, Liam,” Derek murmured, reading his mind.

“Come say hi to my mam,” Liam said before he could make any stupid declarations.

“Oh, okay,” Derek startled but followed him over to the Portkey station.

Liam leaned down and wrapped his mam in a hug as well.

“Goodness,” she tutted. “You’ve grown again.”

“Sorry, Mam,” Liam muttered.

“None of that, now. And hello Derek.”

“Good to see you, Mrs Poindexter,” Derek answered politely.

“Such a nice boy,” Mam reached up, patting Derek’s cheek. Liam thrilled at the flush just visible on his cheeks. “Are your parents around?”

“Yeah they’re around here somewhere,” Derek said. “I should probably go find them.”

“You do that. We’ll see you in August again, my son tells me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Wonderful. Shall I get our portkey, Liam?”

“Sure, Mam,” Liam said, grateful for the moment alone -- more or less -- with Derek. He gave him one last hug, patting Derek’s back and breathing him in one last time. “See ya in a few weeks, Nurse.”

“See ya, Poindexter.”

~

He didn’t mope, there was too much to do, but he missed Derek.

They wrote each other, of course, but it wasn’t the same as living and studying together.

He had stepped right back into his role on the farm, mucking out stalls and milking cows, but he ached without Derek by his side. Not that Derek would be any use on a farm, the very thought of it made him laugh, but he missed the constant presence.

Erin let him get away with the not-moping for a month before she cornered him.

“Seriously, just ask him out.”

Liam shook his head. “Erin, he doesn’t even know I like boys. And he definitely doesn’t like me.”

“Wait, why not? You told me but not your best friend?”

“I… I wanted to tell Mam and Dad first. And I haven’t figured out how to.”

“They won’t care, Liam,” Erin insisted.

“I don’t know that they’ll understand, though.”

“What’s to understand? You’re gay. They know what gay is.”

“I think I’m bi? Actually?”

“So, like boys and girls?”

“Yeah. Or whatever.”

Erin looked at him for a moment. “Okay, so you can explain it to them.”

“That’s where I’m stuck,” Liam laughed dryly.

“I can come with?” She offered.

Liam smiled at her. “Okay.”

So the week before he was due to leave for Nurse Manor, Liam and Erin sat down with their parents.

“What’s wrong, dears?” Mam asked.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mam,” Liam said. “I just…” he glanced up at Erin.

“Liam has something he wants to tell you,” she filled in, nodding at him kindly.

“I think I’m bisexual,” Liam blurted out. “I like boys. And girls. And I wanted to tell you that.”

“Oh!” Mam exclaimed.

“Is that a wizarding thing?” Dad asked.

“What? No, it’s just a people thing. Some people are bi.”

“How do you know?” Mam asked.

Liam felt his cheeks flush and then watched his Mam’s flush too.

“I just know, Mam.”

She shook herself and looked at his dad.

“So you could date girls, too?”

“I mean, yeah, but I think I’ll date both. Probably.” He swallowed hard, looking between his parents.

“Are you dating that Nurse boy?” Mam asked.

“No,” Liam blurted. “No, we’re just friends.”

“Okay,” Mam said. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Well, I don’t pretend to understand it but whatever makes you happy, Liam.”

“Thanks, Mam,” he smiled, relieved.

“I’m just glad you’re not dating Derek,” she laughed. “I don’t know how I’d feel about you staying with a boyfriend, you know.”

“As I said, Derek and I are just friends.”

She nodded, then looked at his dad. “Padrick, say something.”

“Thanks, son. We’ll…” he looked at Mam. “We’ll figure it out, won’t we, Aileen?”

“Aye, that we will,” she gave him a week smile. “Now, if that’s all, I need to get started on dinner. Erin, come help me.”

“Yes, Mam,” Erin answered, squeezing Liam’s arm fondly before rising off the sofa.

Liam breathed a little easier. He hadn’t thought they’d kick him out or anything, and they were far from the easy acceptance Derek’s parents had had, but they were trying.

“I’d better go check on Paddy,” his dad huffed out, rising from his chair.

“Alright.”

After dinner, he prodded Erin into telling him what Mam had said in the kitchen.

“Well she doesn’t really get it, you were right. And I think she definitely hopes you’ll end up with a girl. But she loves you and she _is_ trying.”

“I know. Thanks, Erin.”

“Are you gonna tell Derek, now?”

“Probably.”

She smacked him on the bicep.

“Ow! Alright, alright, I’ll tell him. Geez.”

Erin smiled, smug as the cat that ate the canary.

~

When the Nurse family arrived to pick him up a week later, neither of his parents had said anything further about his announcement. He figured from Erin’s debrief that they wouldn’t have anything else to say on the subject until absolutely necessary, but that was fine.

He’d told Paddy, Maeve, and Niamh the next day. Paddy had nodded gruffly and asked if that was all. The girls just hugged him. None of them had said anything more.

Eric had continued to tease him about Derek when no one was around but it was good-natured and it did help with the ache he felt to see him again, so Liam wasn’t complaining.

Dinner with the Nurses was as pleasant as last year and Liam was careful not to be too loose with his physical affection in front of Derek’s parents. Or his own, for that matter.

He was a bit better with side-along apparation the second time around and didn’t vomit this time. Derek still led him up to his guest room, though, and helped him settle in -- after a very long hug.

They spent the evening catching up with his parents, and Liam felt at home beside Derek on the sofa, even if they weren’t cuddling as they would be at Hogwarts.

Finally, they curled into a blanket in Derek’s bed, face to face, and Liam fully relaxed into the presence of his best friend.

They talked for a while, things they wouldn’t say in front of their parents, until it was past midnight. Finally, Liam said what he’d been gearing up the courage for all day.

“I came out to my parents,” he whispered into the silence.

Derek’s eyes widened in the candlelight. “You did?”

“Yeah. I told Erin a while ago. But I told my parents and the others last week.”

He blinked quickly. “How did it go?”

“They don’t really understand what bisexual means, I don’t think.”

“But it was okay?”

Liam smiled. “Yeah, it was okay.”

“I didn’t know…” Derek said quietly.

“I know. I wanted to tell them first. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Liam. Everyone comes out their own way.”

“Thanks.”

They laid in silence for a long moment, just looking at each other.

“Thanks for telling me,” Derek said at last.

Liam shrugged one shoulder up. “You’re my best friend.”

Derek smiled at him, then it morphed into a smirk.

“Does this mean I can set you up with a boyfriend this year?”

Liam forced out a laugh. The only boyfriend he wanted was already lying beside him. “Sure, whatever you want, Der.”

The grin he got in response was worth the shock of pain through his chest.

He’d always assumed it was true but now he had confirmation.

Derek didn’t like him like that.

~

**Derek**

So.

Liam liked boys.

Liam liked boys, but not him.

That was okay. It was chill. No big deal.

It really didn’t change anything from before he had come out. Derek was _determined_ it wouldn’t. He could be in love with Liam Poindexter quietly and love him as his best friend loudly and the two worlds never needed to meet.

They spent their last two weeks of summer the same as they had last year. They practised their Quidditch plays, they finished their homework, they went to Diagon Alley for their school books, and they hung all over each other as though it had been years since they’d last seen each other.

Nothing was different, not really, but Liam still seemed…

He stood straighter. He moved with more confidence. He spoke more clearly. He seemed older. More mature.

He wasn’t sure if he was just growing up or if it was coming out that made the change so distinct, but either way, it was killing him, this quiet confidence on his best friend.

Chris wrote them both to let them know he and Cait had been named Prefects for Hufflepuff and they exchange a look before dissolving into giggles. They were going to get away with so much this year.

They reunited on the platform at King’s Cross and Liam and Derek tackled the two of them without so much as a glance to coordinate. Just like on the pitch, they were perfectly in sync.

“Our perfect prefects!” Liam chirped.

“Pretty, personable prefects!”

“You guys,” Chris whined. “Stop! No embarrassing your prefects!”

“I’m afraid it’s far too late for that, Chow,” Liam grinned, wrapping an arm around him. “You sealed your fate when you became our friends.”

“I regret my life. I regret my choices,” Chris intoned, and Liam cracked up.

Derek looked between them.

“It’s a meme, Derek. Look it up.”

“What’s a meme?”

“Oh my god,” Liam gaped. “I forget how much you miss out on without the internet.”

Derek crossed his arms and put on a big pout. Liam laughed and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go get a seat since these two are sitting with the prefects and abandoning us.”

Cait laughed and Chris pouted as they said their goodbyes to his parents and climbed aboard the train.

When they had claimed their seats, Derek stared out the window a little too long and Liam knocked his knee into his.

“You alright, Der?”

Derek shook his head as if to clear it.

“Yeah, just hard to believe we’re already fifth years.”

“Pretty awesome.”

“Yeah,” Derek sighed.

“What, are you sad you didn’t get prefect or something?”

“No, of course not, Chris is the prefect of us for sure. I’m more of the bad boy around here,” he pasted on a grin.

Liam burst out laughing.

“Bad boy!” He gasped. “Derek Nurse you are the furthest thing from a bad boy I’ve ever seen.”

“Rude.” Derek crossed his arms over chest, trying to keep the smile from showing on his face.

Liam raised an eyebrow at him and then burst out laughing again. Derek tackled him and wrestled him into silence, both of them laughing the whole time.

Eric joined them in their compartment but spent the whole ride writing an extremely long letter and largely ignoring his teammates.

“Eric, what are you writing?” Liam finally asked when they were almost at the school.

“Just a letter,” he replied.

Liam raised an eyebrow at Derek again -- it was going to be the death of him, that eyebrow -- and they both leapt into action, snatching the letter away from him.

 _“Dear Cariad, I miss you already,”_ Derek read aloud. “ _Cariad_? Did you get yourself a boyfriend, Eric?”

Eric snatched the letter back, his face flaming.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Eric?” Liam asked gently. “We’re sorry. We’ll leave it. Promise.”

Eric shook his head. “It’s not like a _secret_ secret, but it’s kind of a secret.”

“You have a _secret_ boyfriend? Chill,” Derek grinned.

Eric looked at Liam, who smiled kindly.

“Well, you remember Jack, from Ravenclaw?”

“Eric Bittle you little minx!” Liam shouted. “You finally asked out Jack Zimmerman and you didn’t immediately write me?”

“Well, actually,” Eric blushed. “He kissed me. Right after graduation.”

Liam seemed at a loss for words.

“You guys can’t tell anyone though,” Eric continued. “He wants to get established on the team before he goes public with the relationship, okay?”

“Of course, Eric, we’ve got your back. You may want to tell the team though if you’re gonna be in this much of a fog all the time about him,” Derek chirped.

“That’s really amazing though, Eric. Seriously. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, boys,” Eric smiled.

~

The start of Quidditch season was wet.

That didn’t stop Lardo from working them harder than they ever had before. She praised Liam and their Beater plays and then told them to keep working if they wanted to win the Quidditch Cup this year.

They were no longer the young team Derek had first joined his third year. They were all at least in their fifth year, he and Liam had grown in height, strength, and coordination on the pitch. Eric had gotten even faster. Chris was nearly unstoppable in the goal. And Lardo, Adam, and Cait moved as a unit, dominating. They’d had two whole years of practice, in Lardo’s opinion, and this was their year.

Derek decided he would win it for Lardo. And Liam. But he did most things for Liam these days. It was beginning to be as true as needing air to breathe.

He wished he could say that kind of cliche was irregular, but lately, his charmed secret journal was being pulled out every day to scribble sappy, romantic things about his Beater partner. They were terrible, really, but what could he do?

He had read the books of poetry Liam had given him over the years so many times he had memorized them, searching for secret meanings that didn’t exist. He didn’t even think Liam had read them before gifting them. But he treasured each one.

“Just ask him out,” Chris told him one evening when Liam was off at the library and they were alone in their dormitory.

“He doesn’t like me like that.”

Chris opened his mouth but Derek cut him off. “Trust me, I know.”

Chris shook his head.

The next day, Derek decided to do something about it. Not what Chris had suggested, of course, that was dumb, but something.

“So, Liam, we should set you up with someone,” he announced at breakfast.

Liam choked on his orange juice.

“Why?”

Derek shrugged. “You’re the only frog who hasn’t dated yet. You should try it. It’s chill.”

Liam narrowed his eyes at him. “You were a disaster when you dated.”

Derek shrugged again.

“Fine, whatever, you can set me up, but no promises.”

Chris raised his eyebrows in surprise. Derek grinned.

“Gender preference?”

Liam shrugged back, taking a bite of toast.

In the end, Derek set Liam up with Gerard Pavlon from Ravenclaw. He was in their year and nice enough. He gave him a weird look when he asked if he wanted to go out with Liam. He figured it was strange to ask people out on behalf of other people but the whole school knew he and Liam were close so he didn’t get what the big deal was.

“Um, sure? He’s cute.”

“Chill. He’ll pick you up Friday at 7 pm.”

“Okay? Cool.”

He walked back to the Hufflepuff table and gave Liam an exaggerated wink and thumbs up. Liam rolled his eyes.

~

The actual night of Liam and Gerard’s date, Derek was a mess.

He told Chris he was fine, just had a headache, and was going to bed early. Chris gave him a look that said he didn’t believe a word that was coming out of Derek’s mouth but let him leave the Great Hall for the common room while he and Cait headed to the library.

Derek made a detour at the kitchens to wheedle some ice cream off the house elves before taking to his bed.

He spent his night eating the ice cream and staring at his poetry journal, occasionally writing melancholic verse, and generally feeling sorry for himself.

Chris came back after a couple of hours and gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Derek had been doing.

“Derek, I say this with the utmost love and sympathy, but you’re pathetic.”

“I know,” Derek whined back.

“Why do you do this to yourself? The entire school knows you’re pining after him. I think he’s the only one who doesn’t get it. Just _tell him._ ”

“That’s not true, is it?”

Chris raised an eyebrow.

“Ugh, I’m pathetic.”

Chris threw his hands into the air. “Why do you think Gerard gave you such a weird look? Half the school thinks you’re dating already and the other half have betting pools going for how long it’ll take you to get your heads out of your arses.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I really wish I was,” Chris shook his head sadly. “Will you at least stop trying to wingman him? It’s sad. And awkward for everyone involved.”

“Fine,” Derek conceded. “Assuming that’s even an option. I may have just set him up on his last first date ever and I’ll have to give a toast at his wedding and die inside for the rest of my life.” He flopped back on his bed.

“You are such a drama queen, Nurse.”

“Whatever, Chow, we can’t all find the love of our lives at 13. Have pity on me.”

“I’m trying to! That’s what I’m saying! He likes you, too! Just ask him out!”

“You’re full of shite.”

Chris let out a heavy sigh. “I give up.”

Derek took his ice cream bowl back to the kitchens so Liam wouldn't see he’d been eating his feelings, and came back to Liam sitting on his bed.

“Hey, how was your date?” Derek put on a big smile he was sure Liam could see through.

“Derek, I love you, but please never try to set me up again.”

Derek suddenly forgot how to breathe. Liam loved him?

“That bad?” he croaked.

“Yeah,” Liam flopped back on Derek’s bed. “Besides, between Quidditch and OWLs, I don’t think I’m interested in dating this year.”

“That’s chill,” Derek said, flopping next to his best friend. “We’ll just have a best friends year.”

“Sounds perfect.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Hope y'all liked this extremely gay update. Sorry if I made you a little sad with the boys dating other people. It was necessary to make the burn more burn-y. 
> 
> Edits are so close to done I can taste it, I'm so excited for next week's update as well, which includes what I've been referring to as "Christmas at the Poindexters" and it's so cute you might barf. See you next week!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all we're so close! enjoy chapter 7! and of course a million thanks as always to my betas Denois and Sav

**Liam**

“I’ve gotta be perfectly honest, I thought you were dating Nurse,” Gerard told him after they had gotten their food from the Great Hall and settled onto a blanket on the grounds. 

Liam felt his cheeks heat. 

“No, we’re just friends.”

Gerard shrugged. “I was pleased, just surprised.”

Liam cleared his throat. “So. What do you like to do? Like, outside school, I guess?”

Gerard smiled. “I read a lot.”

“Um, cool.”

“What about you?”

“Well, I play Quidditch. On the house team?”

“Really? That’s cool. I’ve never really gotten into Quidditch, I guess.”

Liam nodded. “And I like to tinker. At home mostly.”

“Tinker?”

“You know, take stuff apart, put it back together, that kind of thing.”

“Huh. Cool.”

“What do you like to read?”

“Histories are my favourite, especially biographies. I like getting into people’s heads.”

“Cool. I don’t read much. Except for school, of course.”

“Ravenclaw,” Gerard shrugged with a smile. Liam tried to offer one back but could tell it fell flat. 

They fell into silence after that, just finishing their dinners. 

“Do you wanna make out?”

The question stunned Liam and he startled, blushing darkly. 

“Really?”

Gerard shrugged. “Okay so, we have, like, nothing in common but you’re cute and I like making out. So.”

“Um, sure,” Liam agreed, throwing caution to the wind. As much as he wanted his first kiss to be with Derek, he had to get used to the idea that he would never be getting a kiss from Derek, first or otherwise. 

They tidied their dinner off to the side and scooted closer together. Liam wiped his sweaty palms on his robes and leaned in towards Gerard. 

It was… wet. Gerard’s mouth opened quickly and Liam ended up nearly kissing his teeth until he pulled back. Gerard tilted his head a bit and leaned back in, and Liam tried to match his lips. They finally connected and then suddenly Gerard’s tongue was in his mouth. Liam tilted back a bit and tried to add his own but couldn’t figure out how with the other boy’s tongue taking up his whole mouth. 

After a couple minutes, Liam drew back. 

“Sorry, I’m really not feeling it,” he said. 

“Alright, no worries. See you around, yeah, Poindexter?”

“Yeah, see you,” he agreed as Gerard stood and gathered their dinner wrappings. 

Liam waved goodbye and then flopped back onto the blanket. That had been an unmitigated disaster. He didn’t know why he had said yes to this date. Or why he’d said yes to making out. He’d just wanted to be a normal teenager for once, he supposed. 

Ugh, why had Derek even set him up with Gerard Pavlon? He had literally nothing in common with him. He was cute, he supposed, but that was a pretty low bar. 

After a bit, shivering with the evening chill, he stood, folding the blanket and heading into the castle. 

He passed Chris in the common room studying with Cait and waved, going up to the dormitory. Derek wasn’t there either but he flopped onto his bed anyways to wait for him to get back. 

He didn’t have to wait long, as Derek walked in a moment later, and Liam sat up quickly.

“Hey, how was your date?” He asked with a terribly fake smile. 

“Derek, I love you, but please never try to set me up again,” Liam replied easily.

“That bad?” 

“Yeah,” Liam sighed, falling backwards again. “Besides, between Quidditch and OWLs, I don’t think I’m interested in dating this year.”

“That’s chill. We’ll just have a best friends year,” he flopped next to him. 

“Sounds perfect.”

~

He wrote Erin about his misadventure in dating and she wrote him back the equivalent of a 20 minute giggle fit at everything from his terms used to describe his less-than-amazing first kiss to the utter inanity of dating at all when Derek Nurse was an option. 

Liam skipped over even trying to respond and just wrote her back about the Quidditch team. 

The first Quidditch match of their “best friends year,” as Derek had named it, was against Gryffindor. The team is ready. 

Not “as ready as they’re going to be.” They were ready. 

“This is our year!” Lardo shouted to them in the changing room. “Let’s go show them that!”

They took to the air and Liam could  _ feel _ the energy of his team. He and Derek lined up in position, bats poised to take the Bludgers as quickly as possible. The Gryffindors had a new beater pair that year and he was certain they were not ready for his and Derek’s teamwork. 

He was quickly proven correct when he and Derek controlled the Bludgers almost exclusively. One of the Gryffindor Beaters managed to direct one at Farmer as she charged the Gryffindor goal but Derek quickly redirected it down the field. 

The Chasers were on point, too. Adam had gotten so tall now that he tended to scare the Keeper just by approaching, a fact that he was not shy about using to his advantage. Lardo remained speedy as ever, fitting through gaps in the Gryffindor line a larger player never would. Cait played middleman, seamlessly completing plays with the other Chasers and scoring time and again on their Keeper. 

And of course, Chris in the goal was a thing of beauty, as always. After half an hour of play, only one goal had slipped past him and Liam was pretty sure it was because Adam was accidentally blocking his view of the approaching Chaser. His reflexes had only improved over the summer, practising with Cait, of course, and his recent growth spurt gave him the extra reach to always bat the Quaffle out of the sky. 

To top it all off, Eric caught the Snitch after 50 minutes of play in a dive so fast the other Seeker barely noticed he had taken off when he had caught it, Hufflepuff up 100-10, so that they absolutely slaughtered Gryffindor.

The party was spectacular. 

One of the fourth years composed and taught the house a song called “Hufflepuff’s Year” and it exploded in bursts across the common room all night. Liam refused to sing it but he was subject to it being sung loudly in his ear by Derek -- who had an arm slung around his shoulders most of the night -- on multiple occasions. Adam rolled an entire keg of butterbeer out from his dormitory and Eric produced a funnel and soon everyone was pleasantly buzzed on the frothy drink. 

Derek had, for some reason, tied his tie around his head, the knot over one temple, and Liam was fighting the urge to reel him in by it and kiss him. 

No. That wasn’t what they did. 

Instead, he hung onto his best friend’s shoulders and grinned as he sung to him. 

~

He wrote Erin again after their first win and asked the question he had really wanted to ask all term. 

_ Dear Erin, _

_ We beat Gryffindor! Really we slaughtered them. It was beautiful. Their Beater team was truly pathetic to be fair, they had no chance.  _

_ I’ve been meaning to ask, have Mam and Dad said anything about my coming out? I was thinking of inviting Derek to come to visit over Christmas but I don’t want to if they’re going to be uncomfortable with me or him.  _

_ And no, we’re not dating. I just don’t want to make everything worse by bringing him home.  _

_ Let me know.  _

_ Love, _

_ Liam _

He got her reply on his birthday along with a package and letters from his mam and other sisters. 

_ Dear Liam, _

_ Happy birthday! I hope this gets to you in time and that your day is amazing, though I imagine nothing can beat last year. Your gift is enclosed, hope you like it. If not, suck it, because this is what Mam made.  _

_ About your question. Mam vaguely mentioned it once the week after you left, asked me if I knew, but hasn’t since. Dad hasn’t mentioned it at all. I don’t think they’re  _ avoiding  _ the topic so much as it genuinely doesn’t come up. I don’t think it will be weird to bring Derek home with you, especially since you still haven’t gotten your head out of your arse and asked him out yet. You’d better do it soon, I’m really sick of your pining.  _

_ Anyways, happy birthday, write soon.  _

_ Love, _

_ Erin _

Liam rolled his eyes fondly at his sister and unwrapped the paper around the gift. It was a thick wool jumper made from, he sniffed, yep, their sheep. It smelled like home. It was undyed, the same off-white of his old jumpers that had gotten quite small on him. 

He tucked the jumper into his lap and opened the other letters, reading them one by one while he ate his breakfast. A few people stopped by and wished him a happy birthday, but mostly he just sat with Chris, Cait, and Derek and enjoyed the long ramblings of his Mam’s letter and the silly gossip of his other sisters’. 

When he was through his family’s letters, Chris handed him another package. 

“We all pitched in. Happy birthday!” 

Liam smiled at his best friends and opened the package. It was a gorgeous set of robes in a deep sapphire blue. He fingered the material, it was silky smooth under his fingertips. 

“They’re gorgeous,” he whispered. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes and willed them away. “These must have cost a fortune, you shouldn’t have.”

Derek shrugged. “As I said, we all pitched in. The whole team. There’s a card we all signed, too. And the hem is extra large so you can let it out when you grow.”

“You’re 16. You should own a set of robes that aren’t your school robes or your Quidditch robes.”

“Thank you, guys. Really. I love them.” 

He stood from the table and wrapped each of them in a tight hug, then sought out Eric, Lardo, and Adam to thank them, too. He could envision himself going out into the real world in these, getting an adult job someday, living on his own. They had that much potential in their fibres. 

~

That night, Derek pressed up against his side, he played with the fabric of the robes as he sat by the fire. 

“Told you this was a better idea than yours, C,” Derek chirped. Chris rolled his eyes. 

“I was  _ joking _ ,” he insisted. 

“What was your idea?” Liam asked, unable to help himself. 

“He said I should give you a birthday kiss, since you’re the last frog to get his first kiss.”

Liam gaped at him, then felt his cheeks heat. It was a joke, Poindexter, pull yourself together! 

“Oh, well, um,” he stuttered as Derek looked at him cautiously. “I actually did have my first kiss, though.”

“With who?” He cried.

“Gerard.”

Derek blinked several times in quick succession. “I thought you said the date was crap?”

“It was. Part of that was the kissing. It wasn’t a good kiss, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Not really,” Derek mumbled. 

Liam’s brain went offline. Was Derek… upset he hadn’t gotten to be Liam’s first kiss?

“The robes were your idea?” He changed topics before he thought too hard about that.

“Oh, yeah,” Derek rubbed the back of his neck. “You don’t have any robes and I thought you’d like some.”

“I really like them,” Liam assured him. “And…”

“And what?”

“I’ll still take a birthday kiss. If you’re offering.”

Derek’s eyes widened as he turned to stare at Liam. “O-okay,” he stuttered. 

He leaned in and Liam closed his eyes and leaned in to meet him in the middle. 

It was a chaste thing, just a few seconds pressing their lips together, but Liam’s body lit up like fireworks. 

When the pulled back they both stared at each other for a long moment, before Derek grinned. 

“Happy birthday, Liam.”

Erin had been wrong.  _ This  _ was the best birthday ever.

~

**Derek**

Kissing Liam on his birthday had been both the best idea and the worst idea and dealing with it was not something Derek particularly wanted to dwell on. So he hid his emotions, as always, behind a layer of chill. This time, at least, Liam let him get away with it. 

He hadn’t acted any differently than usual, and any worries he had about messing up their friendship were firmly squashed when Liam sat down beside him one morning and announced: 

“Come home with me for Christmas.”

“What?” Derek looked up.

“Come home with me for Christmas,” Liam repeated. “I know you don’t celebrate it but… It’ll be fun.”

“Chill,” he grinned. “I’d love to. Lemme write my parents.”

“Awesome,” Liam huffed in a sigh. 

“What, were you worried I’d say no, Poindexter?”

“No, I just thought you’d maybe wanna see your parents.”

“I’d rather hang out with my best friend, Dexter. Dex-a-do,” he laughed. 

“Alright, well ask your parents?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”

~

His parents were thrilled. They wrote him a letter telling him how glad they are that he and Liam were such good friends and that the Poindexters were so eager to host him in turn. They went on about how they would miss him but told him to go and have so much fun and make sure to mind his manners.

When he told Liam he could come, the resulting grin threatened to split Liam’s face in two. The hug was even better.

~

And so, a month later, Derek and Liam were waiting on the King’s Cross for their portkey with Mrs Poindexter. 

Derek was vibrating with energy. He had only hung out with the Poindexters for the length of a meal and he was beyond excited to spend a full two weeks with them. He wanted to get to know Liam’s sisters better, especially Erin. 

Liam had spent the whole train back listing off rules and things he could and could not talk about and in front of whom, as his extended family generally did not know about Hogwarts. 

“Liam, chill, I know how to interact with muggles.”

“Why don’t I believe that?” Liam grumbled, but he stopped. 

They had arrived on the Poindexter farm four days before Christmas, so he had several days to learn that it turned out that while he knew what  _ not _ to talk about, he didn’t know half of what the Poindexter siblings  _ did _ talk about. 

Topics he’d had to ask Liam about included: Facebook, which seemed to be some sort of communication tool and not a book at all; gel pens, which were the best invention he had ever seen but didn’t write on parchment very well; and memes, which Liam’s sisters were more than happy to educate him on but Liam seemed to be dying inside every time he quoted one.

Elf on a Shelf absolutely terrified him, to be honest.

“Wait, I thought you said your whole family were muggles? Why do they have a magic doll?”

“He’s not magic, Derek.”

“But he moves every night!” 

“My Mam moves him, come on Derek.”

“Are you telling me that muggle parents fake magic to terrify their children for the holidays?”

“It’s not scary, it’s fun!” 

“It is not fun, Liam, it’s creepy!”

Liam had laughed at him for a solid minute and then told Erin he was afraid of the elf and he had to go through the whole thing again. 

Getting to know Erin and Liam’s other siblings was the best thing about the whole trip, besides not having to miss Liam like he did most holidays. 

Erin and Liam were incredibly close, by virtue of being the middle siblings and also incredibly close in age, only 10 months apart. He learned not to call them Irish Twins, though, when they fixed him with a glare when he did the first day. They also seem to be able to have entire conversations with just their eyebrows, which Derek found both amazing and terrifying.

He didn’t really understand Paddy, Liam’s older brother, but it seemed Liam didn’t either so he wasn’t too concerned. Paddy was a strong and silent type, 18 years old and very focused on his work and his books. 

The youngest two Poindexters, Niamh and Maeve, seemed as close as Liam and Erin. They were often to be found giggling and whispering and blushed just like Liam when Derek smiled at them, although only Niamh shared Liam’s flaming hair. They were 9 and 11 and incredibly into the movie Mean Girls. The second night at the Poindexters, they discovered that he had never seen it and drag him to the TV to put in the DVD. 

“Derek, we should do the dance!” Niamh declared after the three leads had danced their way through a song called Jingle Bell Rock. “Liam will never do it with us!”

“Because it’s inappropriate,” Liam said easily from his other side. “You’re  _ children _ .”

It was clearly a frequent argument. 

“Please, Derek,” Maeve begged. 

“Okay, okay,” he agreed with a laugh. Erin joined in and Liam buried his face in his hands as they taught him the moves. The girls tried to teach him how to swing his hips to hilarious ends and soon Liam was laughing along with their efforts as they sang the song. 

~

Monday, Maeve asked him what his favourite Christmas song was.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve never been big on carols.”

“No, not carols.  _ Songs _ .”

“I don’t get it.”

“You know, like ‘All I Want For Christmas’ or ‘Santa Baby’,” she clarified. 

“I don’t know either of those,” Derek shrugged. Maeve screamed and grabbed his arm, dragging him into the computer room. They found Erin there, but she let them use it when it Maeve told her Derek didn’t know any proper Christmas songs. 

Liam had followed and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed across his chest, as Maeve and Erin play song after song, singing along with their favourites. 

Derek joined in after a few iterations of “All I Want for Christmas” by different artists, it seemed to be Maeve’s favourite, and started singing to Liam, still posted by the door. 

Liam blushed prettily and rolled his eyes, but Derek just kept singing, holding his arms out to Liam as he crossed the room to him. He wrapped his arm around his best friend, still singing, stumbling over the words, and pulled Liam all the way into the room to dance around goofily. 

Maeve and Erin laughed as Liam blushed and jerkily joined in Derek’s crazy dance. 

“Someday you’ll sing to me, Poindexter,” Derek teased, just to watch Liam blush darker.

~

The cousins that invaded the family home on Christmas Eve Day found it hilarious that he wasn’t on Facebook, and he was so confused that Liam pulled him aside into the family computer room to show him his own Facebook account to try to explain it again.

He still didn’t get it. He didn’t really understand the internet in general, if he was being honest, but he wasn’t about to let Liam know that. He’d get chirped into an early grave.

They all ate an enormous amount of food that day and Liam dragged him into their room - Liam’s childhood bedroom that he shared with his brother and which currently housed a camp bed for Derek - for a nap. 

“Why are we napping?”

“Because we’re going to Midnight Mass later and I know how cranky you get if you don’t get to sleep by 11.”

“I don’t get cranky.”

“Whatever you say, Derek. We’re napping.”

“Why is Mass at midnight?”

“Because it’s Christmas.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Go to sleep, Nurse,” Liam smiled at him and crawled into his own bed. 

~

Midnight Mass was confusing. They’d been allowed to skip that Sunday’s Mass on account of Derek not being Catholic but Christmas was Christmas and Liam had to go so Derek had come with. Liam quietly walked him through what to do and when, and he seemed to be standing and kneeling and sitting a lot. 

When everyone filed out of their seats to eat a wafer of bread and drink a tiny amount of wine, Liam showed him how to cross his arms over his chest and move on. He wasn’t allowed to take it as a non-Catholic, apparently. 

Most of the time he was just trying not to yawn too loudly. 

He got a few odd looks, which Liam assured him was just because he was a new face in a small town. He thought it might be a bit more about his being the only brown person in the entire church but he wasn’t going to bring that up right now. 

When they got home, Liam’s youngest sister, Niamh, and his mam put out cookies and milk before they went upstairs to tuck the girls in. Liam wandered off upstairs as well so Derek grabbed a couple of the cookies and followed him. 

When he got to Liam and Paddy’s room, halfway through his first cookie, Derek looked up and gaped at him. 

“You’re eating the cookies?”

“Yeah?”

“Those are for Santa!”

“Liam, Santa isn’t real,” Derek rolled his eyes, flopping down on his camp bed. 

“Derek, muggle Santa is very real and you are eating his cookies. He’s gonna be so upset.”

“What?”

“He’ll be here in like 2 hours and there’s not gonna be enough cookies!”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Deadly serious. We have to go put out more cookies.”

“Merlin’s beard, okay, okay, I’ll go put out more cookies,” Derek promised, suddenly a bit scared.

“I’ll come with you. You’ll screw it up. Muggle Santa is very picky.”

They snuck back downstairs to pull more cookies out of the jar in the kitchen and place them carefully on the table next to the tree. Liam spent a ridiculously long time arranging the cookies, making noises about  _ stupid wizard born boys _ . 

Mrs Poindexter came down a bit later, after tucking in the girls, to find Liam giving Derek a very stern glare and telling him to never mess with Muggle Santa or he would kill him in his bed. 

“What’s going on, William?” She asked.

“Derek ate the cookies for Santa. I had to get more. Keep him safe, you know? Santa is very serious.”

“Very serious,” Mrs Poindexter agreed, before she and Liam broke out in matching grins and reaching simultaneously for the plate, grabbing a cookie each and chomping down noisily. 

“Come on, the gifts are under my bed,” she added, and they walked off giggling. 

“What just happened?” Derek asked, running up the stairs after him. 

“Muggle Santa is very real,” Mrs Poindexter whispered as she climbed the stairs. “And his name is Aileen Poindexter.” 

“Oh my God, Liam!”

Liam snorted out a laugh. “And William Poindexter,” he added. “He demands his cookies.”

His mam toasted her half-eaten cookie against Liam’s and Derek squawked indignantly.

“You had me so freaked out! What the hell!”

Liam slapped a hand over his own mouth, laughing so hard he bent double. “Your face!” He finally wheezed. 

“Come on, Liam, let’s get these under the tree so we can sleep,” his mam interrupted, her own laughter still etched on her face. 

Derek crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not helping, you’re mean,” he pouted. 

Liam just grinned at him and nudged past him, arms full of gifts. 

Derek followed them down and helped arrange them even through his pout. 

~

Christmas Day was just as busy as Christmas Eve, with somehow even more food. 

Derek snuck off to the bedroom at one point, overstuffed and slightly overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in the house. 

Liam knocked a couple of minutes later and slid into the room.

“You alright?”

Derek nodded. “Just overwhelmed.”

“I get that. Want me to leave you alone?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. He held an arm out to Liam and he stepped fully into the room and sat down next to him on the camp bed. Derek let out a content sigh as Liam wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “How do you have so many cousins?”

Liam laughed. “I have four siblings, all of my parents' siblings have at least three kids and there’s five of them on each side.” He shrugged. “We’re Irish Catholics.”

“And you’re the only wizard?”

“Yup.”

“Must get lonely.”

Liam looked at him for a long moment before he answered. “Not really. I’ve got you.” He squeezed Derek and smiled and Derek melted. He laid his head down on Liam’s shoulder. 

“I’m glad.”

~

After gifts had been exchanged, non-alcoholic eggnog had been drunk, and Liam had helped assemble Niamh’s new dollhouse and Maeve’s new scooter, they finally collapsed in their room with Paddy. 

Paddy had spent most of the day acting as a jungle gym for the youngest cousins after one of them discovered that he was strong enough toss them in the air and he passed out fast with a gruff “Happy Christmas,” to the other two. 

Liam and Derek got ready for their own beds. Derek rolled onto his side to look over at him when he laid down. 

“Happy Christmas, Liam.”

“Happy Christmas, Derek.”

They smiled at each other for a moment and then Liam spoke again.

“I’m really glad you’re here.”

Derek grinned at him. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

~

**Liam**

There wasn’t a day that went by that Liam didn’t think about the birthday kiss. He alternated between kicking himself for being so stupid as to ask for it to yelling at himself for still thinking about it when it clearly meant nothing to Derek. 

Still. He thought about it constantly and how much he wanted to do it again. 

They were back at Hogwarts for only two days when Liam decided he was not leaving Valentine’s Day up to chance again. He didn’t think he could stand it if Derek got a new partner, or even just a Valentine’s date. If that made him a bad best friend, well, he was frankly beyond caring.

“Do you wanna do your birthday Hogsmeade together this year?” He asked as casually as he could over lunch the next day. 

“You asking me out, Poindexter?” Derek smirked. Damn that smirk. Liam felt his cheeks heat.

“What? No. I just. Want to hang out with my best friend on his birthday,” he said, studying his sandwich. 

“Chill,” Derek said, though he looked anything but. He looked suspicious. And possibly disappointed. 

Liam went back to his food. He was just imagining things. 

~

Before the Hogsmeade day, though, was another Quidditch match. 

They played Slytherin and they played even cleaner than usual just to piss them off into fouls. It worked, is the funny part, and they ended up sweeping the match tidily. 

Liam and Derek walked back up to the castle, arms wrapped around each other and heads held high, Derek singing “Hufflepuff’s Year” loudly and Liam laughing. 

They’re so close to the Quidditch cup they could taste it. 

~

The day in Hogsmeade was basically perfect, in Liam’s opinion.

They were just off their second win of the year and they were flying high. The school was so excited when they handily beat Slytherin that most of them showed up to the party that night. Liam and Derek had stuck to their Best Friend’s Year agreement and hung out the entire night, even when a couple of Ravenclaws had tried to wheel them. Liam was still high on it. 

They again walk around arm in arm, like they had third year. They ate copious amounts of candy and drank butterbeer together. They ignored the couples. They chirped Chris and Cait when they saw them. 

They didn’t talk about it. 

The “it” being the fact that Liam  _ did  _ want this to be a date. He had brought up going together casually and had hoped that he could just pretend, but Derek just  _ had  _ to make the joke. And now it was definitively  _ not  _ a date. It sucked.

All through the not-date, Liam thought about kissing Derek. 

It was a very unchill thing to do, think about kissing your best friend, but he couldn't stop. Maybe he could get another kiss under the guise of his own birthday kiss. 

No. He would not do that to Derek. It wasn’t fair. 

Instead, they got back to their dormitory and Liam flopped down onto his bed and pretended to nap while he convinced his heart to stop beating so fast. 

~

With OWLs fast approaching, their professors were demanding a lot and slowly Liam’s thoughts about kissing Derek faded into the background, his love for his best friend a steady, pulsing constant that barely affected his daily life anymore. 

The frogs studied together, often in the library with other teammates -- Lardo was as stressed about NEWTS as they were about OWLs -- and stayed up late trying to finish essays after Madame Pinch kicked them out. 

Professor Murray had set them complicated potions to research. Professor Hall had taken to throwing curses at fifth and seventh year students in the hallways to keep them vigilant. Professor McGonagall could be found spying on the students in her cat form from various windows, or at least, no one could prove it  _ wasn’t  _ her.

So, the kissing -- or lack thereof -- wasn’t a problem. 

Until the Quidditch Cup party. 

They played Ravenclaw last. It was the last week of May and this match-up was the last of the year. They needed to win by 200 points to clinch the Quidditch Cup or it would go to Slytherin. 

From the minute Mr Mashkov blew his whistle, the game had been fierce. Ravenclaw didn’t have a chance at the cup but they hadn’t won a match yet that year and they were desperate to win one. 

Tony’s friend, Conor Whisk, was a Chaser on the team this year and was the most determined Chaser Liam had ever seen. Unfortunately for the Ravenclaws but fortunately for Liam, that meant he was fond of striking off on his own and ignore his Chaser team in the name of attempting tricky shots and was way too easy to target. 

After the third time Liam and Derek hit him with a bludger, the Ravenclaw captain called for a timeout. When they came back, he stuck closer to the pack. 

Still, they only managed about 15 shots on Chris’ goals and only one of those snuck in. So when Eric dove for the snitch 90 minutes into the game, Hufflepuff was up by 70 points and…

They had won the Quidditch cup.

Liam felt himself freeze mid-air as Eric’s hand clasped around the tiny golden ball and the stands erupted, “Hufflepuff’s Year” being shouted from their section. 

He sat on his broom over centre pitch in shock until Derek flew over and practically tackled him off the broom. 

“We fucking did it!” He screamed. Liam grinned at him, still unable to make words. “We did it, Liam!”

Suddenly he was laughing, a wild laughter that bubbled up from inside him, his arms flung around his best friend and his team colliding together in a tangle on the pitch when they landed. 

They really did it. 

The party they threw was one for the ages. 

Lardo didn’t seem to touch the floor for two hours, passed around on various student’s shoulders and lounging on surfaces when no one was lifting her in the air. She was a queen.

Several times throughout the night, Liam thought he caught Derek staring at him. But every time he caught his eye, Derek would just grin or break out in song or sling an arm over his shoulder and it would be normal again. 

“You alright, Derek?” He finally asked. 

“Yeah, I’m amazing. This is the best day ever.”

“You sure? You keep staring,” he raised an eyebrow.

“I’m just happy, you know?”

Liam smiled. “I think I know the feeling.”

“I’m just  _ so fucking happy _ !” He shouted. The crowd around them hollered. “I’m so happy I could kiss you, Poindexter.”

“Okay,” Liam croaked, before his brain caught up with his mouth. 

“What?” Derek’s eyes were wide as he stared back at Liam.

“Nevermind,” Liam mumbled. “Forget it.”

Derek looked at him long and hard for another moment but didn’t bring it up again the rest of the night.

~

**Derek**

The weekend before the OWLs and NEWTs started, Justin Olraunsi had a breakdown.

He had one every year before finals but this year was different. Adam went to him every year but this year was different. He was panicking about finals and NEWTs and about the future and when Adam burst into the Gryffindor common room he collapsed into his arms but it was different.

The weekend before the OWLs and NEWTs started, Adam Birkholtz and Justin Olraunsi finally realized they were in love with each other. 

As Adam had held him, shaking and crying in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, Justin realized that he didn’t want to go anywhere without his best friend. And he told him this. That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Adam. The resulting kiss was the subject of the rumour mill for an entire week, despite all the exams going on. 

The weekend before the OWLs and NEWTs started, Derek Nurse wished that was him and Liam Poindexter. 

But it wasn’t. 

Because when Liam had said “okay” at that party to that joking wish that Derek had accidentally let out, Derek had done nothing. 

So Derek threw himself into studying. He needed to get his OWLs after all. Fantasizing about kissing his best friend was rather counterproductive to that. So he studied and he ate and he slept and he tried not to stare longingly at Liam and he mostly succeeded. 

Finally, they finished. 

The frogs and Cait stumbled back from their last OWL, History of Magic, and collapsed in a pile on a couch in the common room. Derek could feel where Liam’s arm is pressed against his side. 

“We did it,” Cait whispered. 

“We did it,” Chris agreed.

“I could sleep for a week,” Liam added. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever move again,” Derek said. 

They all sighed and sank deeper into the couch.

“Hey,” Chris said suddenly, sitting up slightly to look at the others. “We should finally take that trip this summer.”

Derek looked at Liam in time to track the blush spreading across his cheeks. 

“I still can’t afford that, Chris,” he mumbled. 

Chris opened his mouth, probably to apologize, but Derek cut in.

“I can cover you,” Derek offered. 

Liam’s face turned suddenly from embarrassment to anger. “I don’t need your charity, Nurse.”

“It’s not charity,” he insisted. “It’s like when you come to stay at mine over the summer. Just in a different place.”

Liam glared at him. Chris looked between them nervously. 

“No thank you,” Liam gritted out, before pushing himself off the couch and walking purposefully towards the dormitory.

Derek watched him go then turned to the other two. “What did I do?”

~

Liam brushed it off the next day, telling him it was no big deal, but they didn’t talk about summer plans after that. They spent the week lounging and relaxing while the professors finished grading exams and they enjoyed themselves at the end of year feast but they were off somehow. 

The physical contact was the main difference, Derek thought. Liam had never been shy about initiating physical contact but he was withdrawn now in a way that made Derek feel weird about initiating it either. 

When they finally said their goodbyes on the platform at King’s Cross, Liam hugged him tightly and made him promise to write but still didn’t mention coming to stay or ask about plans at all. 

Derek hugged him back as tight as he could and promised he would write and respected Liam’s boundaries, grateful for this hug after all the strangeness of the last few days.

Even if he didn’t understand them. 

The summer passed slowly at first. But Ramadan began a week after he got home and he threw himself into the rhythm of the month. He prayed with his parents and fasted and recited the Quran. He wrote with Liam as well as the rest of the team and other friends at Hogwarts. 

The same owl seemed to always deliver Liam’s mail by midsummer, and when he asked about who had bought it, Liam had told him he had trained a wild owl himself. Derek was astonished and insanely proud of him and told his parents and anyone who would listen. 

But when his mom asked if Liam was coming to stay this year and he just shrugged. 

He journaled and wrote poetry and resolutely did not write about Liam. 

By Eid al-Fitr, he had developed a good rhythm and the end of Ramadan nearly surprised him. The prayers and celebrations lifted his spirits, though, and he was glad to be with his family for the holiday. This was nice.

~

His parents didn’t ask about Liam again until two days after Eid.

“Did you and Liam break up?” 

Derek choked on his toast.

“Mama, no, we weren’t together. He’s just busy this year.”

She studied him for a long moment. 

“You know you can talk to us, right, Habibi?”

“Of course, Mama. But there’s really nothing to tell.”

“Alright. How is your summer school work going?”

Derek blinked at the subject changed but answered after a moment that he had gotten a good start on it, even though that was mostly a lie. He should probably work on that, since Liam wasn’t coming to make him do it. 

Chris had invited him to come with him and Caitlin to Spain after Eid but he’d declined. It didn’t feel right without Liam coming along and he wasn’t going to start that fight again. 

~

All the arguments he’d had with himself about how he needed to get over his crush on his best friend over the summer flew out of his head when he saw Liam on the platform at the start of term. 

He had somehow managed to grow at least 6 inches over the summer and his shoulders had broadened out in a way that showed very nicely in the loose t-shirt he was wearing. His ears were still too big for his head but his cheekbones seemed more prominent somehow and his arms looked more muscled where they stuck out of his sleeves. 

Chris sidled up beside him and whispered, “You’d better close your mouth before he sees you.”

Derek looked at him. “Do you see --?”

“I do see. But you have got to stop staring or  _ he  _ will see.”

When he looked back across at Liam, though, it seemed it was too late, because he was blushing a pretty shade of pink and rubbing the back of his neck as he looked over at Derek and Chris whispering.

“Do you think he knows how hot he got?” Derek whispered.

“Doubt it. You should tell him,” Chris said casually. 

Derek smacked him lightly on the arm before Liam finally hugged his mam and crossed the platform to them. 

Chris ran the last couple of steps and met him in a giant hug. Derek could see each of them speaking quietly but couldn’t hear what was said. Finally, they released each other and Liam looked at Derek.

“Hey, Nurse.”

“Hey yourself, Poindexter.”

“Good summer?”

“It was chill,” Derek shrugged.

Liam rolled his eyes but held out his arms and Derek closed the distance between them and wrapped him in a tight hug. He felt his eyes burning with unshed tears and buried his face in Liam’s shoulder, though it was suddenly higher than his own.

“Missed you,” he said into the fabric.

“Missed you, too,” came the reply. 

Derek smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week will be the last full chapter! chapter 9 is a shorter epilogue. get readyyyyyyyy


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we made it! it's the last full chapter! i know it's early but i couldn't wait so you get it at midnight sunday. you're welcome. i'm also posting the epilogue today because i can't wait another week and it's short. so that'll be up shortly. it'll be shorter than the other chapters but it's lovely.  
> as always, 5 million thanks to my betas, Denois and Sav, and to Loni and Sav who helped me brainstorm and cheerleadered during nanowrimo as i wrote this. i would not be posting the final chapter without all three of them. now let's see our boys finally get their heads out of their asses!

**Liam**

Derek had seemed a bit hesitant at first, but the hug he had given him had been solid and sure, so Liam brushed it off. It had been the longest they had been apart in years, he was probably just unsure where they stood, even if they had written all summer. 

Soon enough, they were on the train headed north. Chris and Caitlin, again, rode up front with the prefects and they sat with Eric and swapped stories of the summer. 

Derek talked about finally getting to be home for all of Ramadan and Eid al-Fitr with his family with a soft smile, and Liam almost found himself glad he hadn’t interrupted that blissful family holiday. He had skipped out on going to Spain with Chris, too, though, which made Liam feel guilty since he had been very interested in it before.

Then Eric started telling stories. Liam had completely missed what had happened in the professional Quidditch world, too wrapped up in throwing himself into work around the house and farm in efforts to forget his crush on his best friend and beater partner -- not that it worked -- but apparently, it had been wild. 

Jack Zimmerman’s team, the Falmouth Falcons, had had an amazing season and he and Eric had impulsively kissed at the end of a big game, leading to a whirlwind of press coverage the two of them had basically apparated away from and hidden in France instead. Liam found himself laughing and leaning against Derek as Eric recounted stories of evading paparazzi and very confused muggle Frenchmen trying to figure out who they were.

He didn’t realize just how close he had cuddled up to Derek until he relaxed from laughter and found Derek stiff beside him. 

He bolted up, ignoring Eric’s odd look.

So it was weird, then. He hadn’t been imagining it. Alright, that’s fine. It didn’t have to mean anything. He would just lay off the casual touches. He could do this. 

He knew his face was bright red and excused himself to the toilets, pointedly not meeting Derek’s gaze.

He stared at himself in the warped mirror in the toilet and willed himself to calm down. He really wished he’d been able to get over this crush over the summer. Could he even call it a crush anymore? It had been years. It was just embarrassing now. 

“Pull yourself together, Poindexter,” he told his reflection. “You can do this. He doesn’t want to be touched. Just… don’t touch him. This is alright. Everything is alright.”

Once he got his blush under control and his breathing had calmed down, he returned to their compartment. 

Eric and Derek thankfully didn’t comment on his odd departure and they lapsed back into casual conversation. Liam was careful not to touch Derek. 

~

His resolution to be nothing more than friendly to Derek went to hell in their very first class of the year, double potions. Their professor set them a love potion. Specifically, amortentia, and extremely powerful love potion. 

Liam followed the potion carefully, working side by side at the bench with Derek and trying very hard not to brush against him. They weren’t in each other’s space like they used to be. When the brew was finally complete, he leant over and cautiously sniffed it. It was supposed to smell unique to each person based on what they’re attracted to. 

He took a long inhale and tried to identify what he smelled. 

Broomstick handle? Yes, for sure. 

Was that… argan oil. Yeah, Derek used it in his hair. 

And the last one. It was so familiar. What  _ was _ it?

Oh. It was Derek’s moisturizing potion. 

Of course it was. 

He was so fucked. Even his amortentia reflected how gone he was on Derek Nurse.

Hoping the blush on his cheeks could be explained by the heat of the potions brewing in front of him, he started to bottle his potion for grading. He caught Derek smelling his own potion beside him and caught a flush of his cheeks as well. At least he wasn’t alone. 

He was stoppering his flask when Derek somehow tripped over the desk while standing still and tipped his cauldron from its stand. He gasped, reaching out to catch his friend as he fell and get him out of the trajectory of the hot potion.

Unfortunately, this just put his own face in the trajectory, and he suddenly found himself spluttering out a mouthful of Derek’s potion. 

“Liam, oh my god, are you okay?”

He wiped his face on his robe and looked up at Derek.

“I’m great,” he smiled. 

“Thank Merlin,” Derek smiled with relief. 

“Never been better,” Liam continued. His mind was light. Airy. He felt  _ amazing _ . 

Derek looked at him cautiously. “You sure? You look a little woozy. Did you hit your head?”

“Nope,” Liam said, still gazing at Derek. Some part of his brain reminded him that he was supposed to be toning down the crush, not giving into it, but he just felt so  _ good _ . He straightened up and wrapped his arms around Derek in a tight hug. 

“Um.”

Liam turned his head and buried his nose in Derek’s hair. He took a deep inhale. 

“God, your hair smells so good, how is this possible?”

“Um,” Derek cleared his throat. “Professor Murray?” 

Liam was vaguely aware of Professor Murray coming over and Derek making noises of distress as he clung to him. 

“He got some of my potion on him, I think he drank some.”

“Oh, that’s not good. There’s not much to do but wait it out though.”

Derek whined. Liam nuzzled the soft skin behind his ear. Derek whined again.

“What do I do?”

“I’d suggest you take him back to the dormitory until it wears off.”

“What’s wrong, Derek, my love?” Liam interrupted through his haze. 

Derek pulled on his shoulders and Liam let him move him backwards.

“You got some of my love potion.”

“That’s silly. I don’t need a love potion to be in love with you.”

“Liam, please, listen to me,” Derek said, fixing him with a steady gaze. “We need to get back to the dormitory, okay?”

“Why, are you sick?”

“Um, yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? Come on, I’ll take you.”

“Thank you, Liam,” Derek looked relieved. Liam preened. 

“As you wish,  _ a mhuirnín _ .”

Derek’s cheeks flushed. 

“ _ A mhuirnín _ ? It means darling. My darling. My love.”

“Please stop.”

“But Derek, I love you. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more temperate and more sweet.”

“Oh no, please don’t quote Shakespeare.”

“Why not? You like Shakespeare, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, but--”

“I can write you your own poetry instead! 

_ “Woe to he would admire _

_ The fine posterior of Nurse _

_ For he only wears robes _

_ They hide his assets well _

_ Curses.” _

“Liam,” Derek hissed, still holding his shoulders. 

“What do you want Derek? I’ll give you anything.”

“I want to go to the dormitory. Will you come to the dormitory with me?” He was speaking very clearly but Liam could barely parse his words. 

“Dormitory, yes, great idea, let’s go.”

“Chris, please come with me?” Derek looked around him to the other bench. 

“Yeah, of course.” Liam heard the voice behind him but paid it no mind, content to stare into Derek’s eyes. 

“Your eyes are like emeralds. No! They’re like clovers. Or grass! No, that’s not romantic. Clovers for sure.”

Derek looked worried. 

“Derek? What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer, but another arm came around his shoulders and led him from the room. 

“Wait, Derek!” He called.

“I’m right here, Liam. I’m coming with.”

Liam squirmed away from the other arm holding him, spinning back towards Derek and falling down onto one knee. His knee ached a bit on the stone floor but he paid it no mind. 

“Oh no,” Derek said.

“Derek, I don’t have a ring, but please--”

He was cut off by Derek hauling him to his feet by his biceps. 

“Wait, I wasn’t finished!”

“You can tell me later, alright? Right now we’re blocking traffic in the hallway,” Derek ground out, dragging Liam through the crowd by one bicep.

He squirmed as Derek gripped him and another hand gripped his other arm and he was marched down the hall and to the Hufflepuff common room. 

“Derek, you’re hurting me!” He was finally let go and Derek looked at him.

“Sorry. Can we go upstairs?”

Liam rubbed his bicep and nodded. 

He followed Derek up to their dormitory, feeling dizzy. The haze was still heavy in his mind and all he wanted was to tell Derek how much he loved him. 

When they got upstairs, Derek turned to him and gave him a weak smile.

“How are you feeling?”

“Never been better, I’m here with you,” Liam replied. He took a step towards Derek but was caught around the middle by another pair of arms. He twisted. “What are you doing?” He asked the other boy. 

“Keeping you from doing something you’ll regret,” he gave a small smile. 

“But I love him. I need to tell him.”

“You did, Liam. But now you need to stop telling him. Can’t you see he’s uncomfortable?”

Liam looked back at Derek. He did indeed look uncomfortable.

“Have I hurt you,  _ a mhuirnín _ ?” He felt himself, more than decided to, fall to his knees, losing Chris’ grip on him. He crawled on his knees across the dormitory. “I’ll do anything, I don’t want you in pain, please, tell me what I can do.”

Derek looked down at him, eyes wide. “I think you should go to sleep, Liam.”

“Shall we nap together, my love?” 

“Um,” Derek looked up, over Liam’s head, and he must have gotten some sort of approval because he says, “Okay.”

Derek let him take his hand and lead him to his bed, where he laid down with a sigh. Derek climbed in slowly after him. Cautiously. 

But he let Liam keep holding his hand and nuzzling into his shoulder and eventually, Liam fell asleep. 

~

**Derek**

Liam fell asleep, clinging to his hand, and Derek finally relaxed. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered, looking up at Chris from where he was curled on his side beside Liam.

“Are you okay?” Chris whispered back. “I can be his pillow if you want.”

“It’s alright. Just… stay?”

“Of course.”

“What if he’s not okay when he wakes up?”

“Then we keep him here until he is.”

He nodded, studying Liam’s face. 

He looked peaceful now. Derek’s heart hurt. 

It was the potion. It was nothing more. Just the potion. But how he had ached to hear those words from Liam’s mouth. 

Maybe with less exaggerated fluff and dramatic gestures. But to be loved by Liam like that? He would remember it always, potion or no. 

He was crying before he realized it, and Chris had snuggled up behind him on the bed. 

“Hey, you’re alright, it’s alright,” he whispered into Derek’s hair. 

“It just hurts so much,” he whispered back. “I just wish it was real.”

“I know.” Chris shushed him. “I know.”

He must have fallen asleep as well because he woke up some time later to a gasp and Liam flailing himself backward off the bed. 

“Liam!” He cried, scrambling to the edge of the bed to look at him, sprawled on the floor.

“Derek I am so, so,  _ so _ sorry.”

“Is it done, then?”

“Yeah,” Liam blushed darkly. “I really am sorry. I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, did I?”

“No? I mean you did try to propose in the middle of the hallway but we stopped you.”

“Oh God,” Liam muttered. 

“Please get off the floor?”

Liam stood and sat down on Derek’s bed, looking carefully across the gap. 

“Are we okay?”

Derek swallowed. “Yeah, of course.”

“It was just the potion, I wasn’t trying to make a pass at you, I promise.”

“I know,” Derek said, even as his heart sank into his toes.

“Right. Well. I’m gonna go.”

“You don’t have to go,” Derek heard himself say.

“I need a minute, okay?”

“I’ll go. You stay. It’s okay,” he offered. He would need space if he was in Liam’s shoes and there wasn’t much space to be had in a school like this. 

“If you’re sure,” Liam said, his eyes flicking to Chris’ bed. Derek followed his gaze and saw Chris was propped up there pointedly staring at a textbook but obviously not reading.

“Yeah, we’ll get out of here and give you some time. Come on, Chris.”

Without a word, Chris closed his book and stuck it in his bag, then crossed to Liam and whispered something to him. Liam nodded and then Chris hugged him before shouldering his bag and heading for the door. 

Derek scrambled to follow him, waving awkwardly to Liam. 

They collapsed on a couch in the common room so Liam could find them easily if he needed them. 

“Holy shit,” Derek said again.

“I know,” Chris agreed. “Are  _ you _ alright?” 

“I think so.” 

“It’s okay to not be.”

“I know. But I think I am. Really.”

“Okay.”

Derek tried to study for a bit but he kept looking up at every motion, hoping it was Liam coming down, best friends again. It took two hours before he came downstairs and then he sat in a chair across from him and smiled weakly before pulling out an essay to write.

Fuck. It was awkward now. 

~

Any hopes Derek had about the awkwardness wearing off were dashed over the course of the next two weeks as Liam avoided his gaze and danced around him, never touching and barely smiling. 

Derek would give anything to see Liam truly smile again. 

Their first Quidditch match of the year approached quickly -- they were the first match of the school year -- taking on Slytherin the first weekend in October. 

The game started out easily enough. They hadn’t been their best in practice, but then with two new Chasers and a new captain, the whole team was a little slow on the uptake this year. 

Not that Eric wasn’t a great captain, and their new Chasers, a fifth year named Denise Ford and a fourth year called John Hopper, had come a long way in the three weeks they’d been on the team but they had a lot to live up to and they were struggling. 

Liam and Derek didn’t have any excuse for their own failings, though he’d heard Liam telling Eric they hadn’t been able to get together over the summer and that was the reason. It was a convenient excuse but it wasn’t the truth. 

The truth was they had barely had a full conversation in a month and they were both on edge. 

It felt like they were back at the beginning of third year. It hurt. 

Everything hurt these days.

He played as best as he could, but he couldn’t ever get Liam’s attention when he wanted it, and about 30 minutes into the game, he was darting after a bludger and the other slammed him off his broom. 

He kept ahold of it with one hand and was able to swing himself back up onto it, but when he looked to see who had managed to knock him off in the first place, he saw the anger-flushed face of Liam Poindexter, mouth already open to chew him out. 

“What the hell were you doing in my path, Nurse?” He shouted.

“What were you doing hitting a bludger at me?” Derek shouted back. Liam was in his face. 

“I was going after the Seeker, who just got the damn snitch! Which you would know if you would get your head out of your arse!”

Derek spun around and, yep, the game was over, 210-50 Slytherin. Fuck.

Eric flew up then, face stern. 

“Boys. Take it down. Now.”

Liam ducked his head, then shot one last glare at Derek and shot off towards the changing rooms.

“I don’t know what’s up with you two,” Eric said, “but fix it.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed.

Eric nodded and flew off. Derek went straight down and walked across the pitch to the changing room. The longer it took him to get there the better. 

~

After the blow up at the Quidditch match, Derek avoided Liam. It hurt too much to see the anger in his eyes. The moments he didn’t actively ignore him, he found Liam ignoring him, too. So it was easy. 

“This is not okay,” Chris announced, flopping into the chair across from Derek at the library. “It’s my birthday tomorrow. And I want my best friends to be friends again.”

“Good luck with that,” Derek mumbled.

“Please talk to him.”

Derek looked up at last. He let out a long sigh. 

“It’s not that easy, Chris.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t even know why he’s mad at me!”

“Ask him!”

Derek gave him a look that conveyed all of his feelings on that subject. 

“Fine.”

Chris’ birthday passed, as did Liam’s, and soon it was already November and neither of them had spoken more than a sentence at a time to the other. They worked with Chris and Caitlin in classes. They did the bare minimum at Quidditch practice. They asked others to pass foods sitting in front of the other. 

In an odd, twisted way, Derek had kind of hoped that this fight would finally kill his crush, but instead, his heart hurt more with every day that Liam didn’t talk to him. Not that he was talking to him, either. But it still hurt.

Chris caught him gazing a little too wistfully at Liam’s retreating back one day and he slammed his book closed in a huff. 

“Would you just  _ talk _ to him?”

Derek sighed. “I think it’s too late for that, Chris.”

“You can’t just give up. You’re best friends!”

“I don’t think we are anymore.”

Chris looked like he might cry. “But you have to be! You’re my best friends!”

“I’m sorry, Chris.”

“What if I talked to him?”

“You’re welcome to, but I don’t think it’ll do any good.”

Chris set his mouth in a firm line but didn’t say anything. 

~

Two days later, Chris caught him by the arm as he walked towards the Great Hall for lunch and shoved him into an empty classroom then slammed the door behind him. There was a scrape of furniture from the hallway and Derek realized he’d just been locked in. He looked around.

Seated at a desk on the other side of the room, face flushed bright red, was Liam.

~

**Liam**

Chris grabbed Liam’s arm as he left the Transfiguration room, Derek taking an extra long time packing up his things behind them. 

“I need to talk to you about Derek,” Chris said in a low whisper as he dragged him down the hallway on the way to the Great Hall for lunch. 

“Chris, we’ve talked about this --”

“No, you aren’t listening. I get that you’re embarrassed about what you said. I get that you hide it and work extra hard when your emotions get too much. But I was not kidding when I told you that he was more worried about you than himself while you under the potion’s influence. And you are killing him and your friendship and I won’t watch it anymore.”

Liam stared at him. Chris had generally stayed out of their fights over the years, so, for him to be interfering, it must be bad. 

“Will you talk to him? For me?”

“Chris, I can’t,” Liam began.

Chris frowned and pulled him into an empty classroom instead of continuing on to the Great Hall. 

“This is ridiculous,” Chris began. 

“You’re the one shoving me into empty classrooms, Chow.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I have nothing new to say on that subject and frankly I’m getting annoyed that you won’t drop it.”

“Why don't you just  _ try _ to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“He thinks -- you know what, it doesn’t matter. The point is, you’re both being idiots. And it’s almost Christmas! You can’t be fighting at Christmas.”

Liam raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You, stay here. I’m going to find either Derek or Veritaserum. Possibly both.”

“You wouldn’t force me to talk.”

“William James Poindexter I have about had it with your stubbornness and I’m not sure right now what I’m capable of. Now. Don’t move.”

Liam lifted his hands in innocence and sat down in a desk chair. Chris walked back to the door and opened it, standing in the doorway like he was keeping guard. After a minute, he darted into the flow of students and grabbed Derek, pulling him into the classroom and shutting the door behind him. 

He watched Derek stare at the closed door and listen to the scrape of furniture on the stone floor outside before he turned around and seeing Liam. 

Liam felt his face flush darker, his ears burning. 

“You have an hour until Defence. Get talking!” Chris called through the door. 

Derek’s eyes widened as he stared at Liam. 

Liam squirmed, both glad he had Derek’s attention and afraid of what would happen. Would he crack and tell him everything, losing him forever? Would they just fight more and delay the inevitable?

“Hi,” Derek croaked finally, stopping Liam’s spiral. He pretended he wasn’t blushing as red as a tomato and struck a nonchalant pose, arms crossed and legs stretching out.

“We don’t have to do this, Nurse.”

Derek’s face fell before he arranged it into a carefully constructed mask. 

“Chill.”

Liam rolled his eyes then fixed his gaze on the chalkboard. He couldn’t look at him. 

He heard Derek sit down in one of the other desks and rummage around in his bag. Liam looked over. 

“What are you doing?”

“If you’re not gonna talk I’m at least going to get some reading done.”

Liam huffed. 

“What?”

“You don’t have to pretend not to hate me, it’s okay. I know.”

“What?!” Derek squeaked. “I don’t hate you, Liam.”

“You haven’t acted normal around me since the love potion. You’re clearly mad at me. And, look, I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable but I apologized, okay? And it was your clumsy arse that spilt it in the first place, so I should be mad at you, anyway!” He was panting. He hadn’t meant to say all of that.

“I don’t hate you, Liam,” Derek repeated, quieter. “I’m not even mad at you.”

Liam huffed again. “You have a funny way of showing it.”

“I thought you didn’t want me around. You seemed so uncomfortable. I didn’t want to push myself on you.”

“I thought you were mad at me for what I said.”

Derek shrugged. “It was the potion, I know that.”

“It was,” Liam agreed. “But--”

Derek studied him and Liam felt his face heat again. 

“Liam,” Derek said at last when Liam didn’t finish his sentence. His face seemed suddenly clearer. He was even smiling a little. “Why do you think Chris locked us in here?”

“Because he’s sick of us fighting and doesn’t want us to be fighting at Christmas.”

Derek shook his head. “Is that all?”

Liam shrugged.

“Look,” Derek sighed. “Do you think he’d lock us in here if he thought we didn’t have something to say to each other?” 

“Like what?”

“Fine, I’ll go first.” He took a deep breath. “When you got hit with the love potion, it hurt. Because…”

“Because what, Derek?”

“Because it wasn’t real,” Derek whispered. “But when you pulled away after that, it hurt even more. Because the last thing I ever want is to lose you. I just want to be in your life, forever. Any way you’ll have me.”

“What?” Liam croaked. 

“And… if a friendship is all you ever want, that’s fine. It’s more than fine. But please don’t shut me out. Please. My heart can’t take it.”

“What?” Liam repeated. 

“So, that’s me,” Derek finished lamely.

“Oh my God,” Liam whispered. “Are you serious?”

Derek nodded, swallowing hard. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Our friendship was too important.”

“Oh my God.”

“You said that already,” Derek laughed dryly. “Anything else to add?”

Liam swallowed. “When I made my amortentia, do you know what I smelled?”

Derek shook his head, looking confused and as if he might possibly cry. 

“I smelled broomstick handle, argan oil, and your moisturizing potion.”

Derek’s eyes widened. 

“When I got hit with your amortentia, the first thing I worried about was you getting hurt with that damn caldron. And then I was worried that you’d figured me out.”

“You mean--?”

Liam nodded. “I am hopelessly in love with you, Derek Nurse, you clumsy fool.”

Derek gasped, then scrambled out of his chair and crossed to Liam’s chair. Liam stood to meet him.

“I never wanted to hurt you or push you away. I was just so scared.”

“You were scared?!” Derek exclaimed. “I was terrified I’d ruined everything forever! Why couldn’t you just tell me?” 

“I asked you first,” Liam smiled thinly. 

“I already answered,” Derek pointed out. 

“I…” Liam paused, searching Derek’s face. “I didn’t think you felt the same. I couldn’t take the rejection.”

“Liam, I’m going to kiss you now,” Derek decided. 

“Okay,” Liam whispered. 

Derek took another step closer, closing the gap between them at last, and wrapped an arm around Liam’s waist. Liam snaked his own arm around Derek’s neck, the other hand raising to his face, his cheek scratchy with stubble. 

He looked into Derek’s eyes, green as ever, and leaned in. He felt, more than saw, Derek lean in, too, and then their lips met. 

It was like the birthday kiss and it was nothing like the birthday kiss. It was sweet and chaste at the same time that he could taste the intent on Derek’s lips. Liam opened his lips a fraction and Derek whined into his mouth, opening his own lips. 

They broke apart after a moment, pulling back only far enough to rest their foreheads on each other and pant into their shared air. 

“Can we do that again?” Liam asked. 

Derek kissed him again.

~

**Derek**

Derek’s heart was beating out of his chest. He couldn’t breathe and he never wanted to stop kissing Liam. 

Liam, who was in love with him, and  _ Merlin _ , he hadn’t said it back. 

He broke away from Liam’s lips and his heart thrilled as Liam chased him as he did. 

“I love you, too, you know. Have since fourth year.”

“We really are idiots, aren’t we?” Liam replied, and captured Derek’s lips in a kiss before he could respond. Derek just gripped onto Liam’s robes, grappling for some kind of handle on what was happening. 

It was intoxicating. 

After they had to break apart again for breath, Derek grinned at him. 

“You wanna go back to the common room and make out some more?” Liam asked, face flushed.

Derek’s stomach grumbled. “Um, I kinda wanna go eat lunch?”

“Oh yeah, lunch.”

“Think Chris will let us out?” He asked, smoothing down Liam’s hair. 

Liam responded by threading his fingers through Derek’s and leading him to the door. “Chris?” He called. “Can you let us out now?”

“Did you actually talk to each other?” Came the reply. 

“We did more than talk,” Derek interrupted. 

“Derek!”

“What? We did,” he shrugged.

“I don’t wanna know,” Chris called back, then the furniture moved in the hall and the door swung open. He took a sweeping look over the pair of them, robes askew and hands clasped and grinned at them. “That’s more like it.”

“Glad to hear we have your approval, Chow,” Derek laughed. “Does this mean we won’t have to endure a shovel talk?”

Liam just blushed. 

“Come on, I’m starving,” Chris said, starting towards the Great Hall. 

“Because that’s our fault,” Liam rolled his eyes. 

“I wouldn’t have had to resort to such drastic measures if you two had just talked to each other two months ago when I told you to! So yes, it’s your fault.”

Derek looked up at Liam, grinning. Liam grinned right back and squeezed his hand. 

Chris dropped into the seat next to Caitlin and Derek and Liam sat down across from them, dropping their hands but pressing close to each other. 

“Fucking finally,” Cait said. 

Liam blushed again. Derek smiled and kissed his cheek. 

“Were we ever that bad?” Cait asked Chris.

“Yes,” answered Derek. 

Chris blushed while Cait laughed. 

~

The entire school seemed to know they had gotten together by dinner that first night, so they hadn’t had to tell anyone. Though that kind of sucked because Derek wanted to tell  _ everyone _ .

They kept getting busted making out in empty classrooms (“making up for lost time, Professor”) and Chris loudly announced himself whenever he was entering their dormitory “just in case”. They were rarely ever not touching in some way, pressing their knees together under desks and holding hands or looping elbows in hallways. And Derek was quite enjoying cataloguing Liam’s various new blushes. 

The month until Christmas break flew by. Derek was excited for the trip he and his parents had planned to visit his grandparents but at the same time he was sad he wouldn’t see Liam for two full weeks. 

The last night before the train home found them curled like parenthesis on Liam’s bed. Liam was running his fingers along Derek’s knuckles. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Liam whispered. “I always miss you. But I’m going to miss you  _ so _ much.”

“I’m going to miss you, too. You have no idea.” He lifted Liam’s chin and kissed him softly. 

“We’ll write. And it’s only two weeks.”

“Only,” Derek huffed. 

“Only,” Liam repeated. “We can do it. We’ve done longer.”

“No offence, but I never want to go longer than that without seeing you ever again.” 

“How are we going to do Summer, then, Nurse?” Liam teased. 

“You can come to stay again.”

“I do have to go home at some point, you know. I have to help with summer rebuilds.”

“Then I can come to visit you?” Derek asked. 

Liam frowned a little. “It wouldn’t be like Christmas, Derek.”

“I know.”

“We’ll figure it out later, alright? For now, I want to just lay here with you.”

“Alright,” Derek agreed. He lifted his hand and ran his thumb along Liam’s cheekbone. “So long as I get to see you, I’m happy.”

“Sap.”

“Takes one to know one, Poindexter.”

Liam just grinned at him, then turned into him, nestling against Derek’s body. Derek slung his arm around Liam’s waist and squeezed. 

“I love you,” he whispered into Liam’s hair.

“I love you, too, sap. Are we napping?”

“Yes, please.”

Derek nestled into his boyfriend, slipping easily into rest. 

An hour later, Chris walked into the room, hand over his eyes requesting to know if they were decent. When Derek woke sleepily and confirmed, still spooned around Liam, Chris lowered his hand and declared, “I think this is worse, actually.”

A day later, they said goodbye on the platform at King’s Cross, both pretending they weren’t crying until Liam’s mam had insisted they go before they missed their portkey. 

Two weeks later, they clung to each other beside the fireplace of the Hufflepuff common room, whispering endearments to each other torn out of them by the time apart. 

Two months later, they went to Hogsmeade for Derek’s birthday and Valentine’s Day both. They went to Madam Puddifoot’s and only made fun of the other couples a little, mostly caught up in each other. 

Six months later, Derek Nurse went home with Liam Poindexter for the summer. 

He was the happiest boy on earth. They both were.


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i'm thanking Denois and Sav and Loni again. seriously you are all the best. also, this is now a series because i wrote a little sequel. i'll post it later and might write more in the verse so subscribe if you want more!

In September, Chris got named Quidditch captain and recruited a new seeker, Louis Landmann, and the seventh years had to go to job counselling.

“How did your session go?” Derek asked as he reached for the toast.

Liam shrugged. “Sounds like I can probably get an entry level at the ministry pretty easily with my OWLs and if I keep on track for the same NEWTs.”

“Oof,” Derek replied. 

Liam looked up at him. “Why, what did Sprout say in yours?”

“I don’t need job counselling, I’m going to write. Maybe travel.”

Liam frowned. 

“What?”

Liam shook his head. “Nothing.”

~

In October, Liam turned 18. 

The next day, he flopped into a chair beside his boyfriend in the common room. 

“You should come with me.”

“Where?” Liam asked.

“Traveling. Seeing the world.”

“Derek, I don’t have that kind of money,” Liam rolled his eyes. 

“I’d pay for everything,” Derek shrugged and Liam glared at him. “And before you say anything, it’s not charity because I want you there with me. Remember? I’m not letting you out of my sight, Poindexter.”

“That is not how the real world works, Nurse.”

“Forget it.”

~

In November, Derek brought up marriage for the first time. Liam blinked in surprise and sat down heavily on his bed. 

“What?”

“You wanna marry me?”

“I mean, not right now, but someday, yeah. Don’t you wanna marry me?”

“Well, yeah someday, but… Christ, Derek, you’re not even 18. I thought you wanted to travel and see the world.”

“Yeah, with you. I thought I was clear about that.”

“Oh.” Something settled in his chest. Something sure and solid.

“‘Oh’, he says,” Derek mimicked, then looked at Liam. “Did you… wait, did you not know that?”

Liam just stared at him. 

Derek crouched down in front of him. 

“Liam Poindexter, I am never giving you up. I am yours for as long you’ll have me. And someday, I’d like to marry you.”

“Wow.”

“And I’d like to travel with you and show you the world because you deserve it and I want to. However I get to do that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

~

In December, Liam brought Derek home for Christmas again, this time as his boyfriend. His family was ecstatic. Those who hadn’t met him the previous summer crowed with pride at little Liam all grown up. 

They had both broken six feet by now and spent much of the break playing jungle gym to Liam’s cousins as Paddy had their first Christmas together. Paddy was grateful for the reprieve, Derek thought. He was still hard to read.

Liam again built his cousin’s gifts on Boxing Day while Derek watched. They had exchanged gifts the night before, away from prying Muggle eyes and Liam had to keep pausing to finger the locket around his neck, a Nurse family heirloom. Derek watched him raptly each time he touched it. 

He had given Derek a collection of Rumi love poems with an inscription promising to never try to write his own poetry again, especially under the influence of amortentia. He’d cried as he read the first few pages then abruptly closed it and tackled Liam, kissing him for hours. 

They didn’t talk about the future but Liam knew it was forever.

~

In January, they beat Gryffindor. 

“Where do you want to live after school?” Liam asked as they cuddled up together in the warm glow of the afterparty. 

“I hadn’t really thought of it. You can get pretty much anywhere on the Floo Network so it’s never bothered me much.”

“What about Ireland?”

“You trying to make me an Irishman, Dexter?”

Liam shrugged. “I’d like to be close to my family. And if you don’t care…”

“I’d like that.”

~

In February, Derek applied for the University College Cork Creative Writing program.

He’d gone through all the requirements with Professor Sprout to go to a muggle university straight out of Hogwarts and only told Liam about it after he’d already mailed it in. 

“You did what?”

“I applied for college. Creative writing. In Cork.”

“Why?”

“I want to write. You want to be in Ireland. It’s perfect.”

Liam kissed him. “Okay. Let’s move to Cork.”

Derek smiled and kissed him again.

~

In March, Liam shadowed Chris’ Dad at the Ministry over the Easter holiday. 

The opportunities for wizards weren’t terribly numerous, but for someone with good academic standing and a willingness to put in the time to climb the ladder, the ministry was a good, steady option. Mr Chow had even suggested his owl training skills might come in handy in the Magical Creatures department.

When he relayed this back to Derek, he started to say something and then stopped. 

“Go on, what do you want to say?” Liam prodded.

Derek smiled a small smile and took his hand. “I’m saying this because I love you and want you to be happy. You know you don’t have to work, right?”

Liam sighed. 

“And I’m saying this because I love you and I want  _ us _ to be happy. I won’t be happy not working. I need to work. I need to make my own money and help support my family. And I’m not wasting this education that I’ve worked my arse off for to go back to farming. This is what I want to do, even if it’s not glamorous.”

“Okay.”

~

In April, Derek got into UCC. He got the letter at morning mail call and when he saw the seal he screamed.

“What?!” Liam shouted, leaning in to read along with him. “‘Mr Nurse, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted,’ Derek, oh my God you got in!” 

“I got in,” Derek repeated, his eyes wide. “Liam, I got in!” 

“I’m so proud of you, _ a mhuirnín _ .”

“I’m going to be a writer.”

“You’re going to be amazing.”

“If you fuck on my bed I will kill you,” Chris added from across the table. 

~

In May, they finally agreed. 

“What if we travelled together for part of the year. And you worked the rest of the year?” Derek offered during a study break. 

“What job would take me for part of the year?”

“A month, then. Plenty of people take a month off each year.”

“Is this a rich people thing?” Liam asked, sceptical. 

“It’s a wizard thing. We’re stuck in a lot of old traditions, remember? One of those is lots of leisure time.”

“Okay, one month out of the year. Just one. And the rest we’ll stay in Cork. Or wherever. And you’ll study and then you’ll write. And I’ll connect to the Floo for work.”

“It’s going to be amazing,” Derek smiled. 

~

In June, Liam took his NEWTs and Derek took his A Levels.

The stress of the exams made both of them on edge. They had both been snippy throughout the weeks of the exams and when they were finally over, they collapsed onto Derek’s bed and slept for four hours, curled into each other's arms. 

~

In July, they travelled while they waited for their test results. 

Derek took Liam to Paris, Prague, Berlin, and Barcelona. Then they went to visit Derek’s grandparents back in Lebanon. 

He didn’t speak much Arabic, just what he’d tried to pick up from Derek but it didn’t come easily to him, so Derek translated for his relatives that didn’t speak English. 

They welcomed him warmly into the family and Liam ate a lot of yoghurt to counteract the heavy spices while Derek snickered at him. 

Liam got all his NEWTs. Derek got his A Levels.

~

In August, Liam started a job at the Ministry of Magic in the Department of Magical Transportation. Derek helped him get dressed in their tiny apartment in Cork in his sapphire blue robes from his 16th birthday, the hems let out several inches, before heading off to his own first day of uni. 

“I love you,” Liam murmured against his lips.

“I love you,” Derek replied, easy as summer rain. “Have a good first day.”

“You too,  _ a mhuirnín _ . I’ll see you tonight.”

With one more kiss, he threw the Floo Powder into the fire and stepped in.

“Ministry of Magic!”

Derek smiled at the flames as they went from green back to orange, his partner off to make his own mark on the world. Then he shouldered his backpack, pulled on a beanie, and walked out into the Muggle world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has followed along on this wonderful journey! your comments gave me life and i am so thankful for all of you! please leave a comment if you enjoyed and tell your friends and shit. i love you all.   
> i'm on tumblr at [willdexpoindexter](https://willdexpoindexter.tumblr.com), come cry with me about our stupid hockey boys

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading! i'm on tumblr at willdexpoindexter and i live for your comments.


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